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Thread: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

  1. #26
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    It's bad enough when someone steals cash, and I can see how someone could be tempted to steal cash, but stealing an ATM card is getting waayyy too personal. Don't be easy on him, whatever you do. And I also would let him know not to ever call you asking for money again.

  2. #27
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Cinn - he stole $80. I realize it is not alright, I'm not suggesting "by gones", but I do think if this guy has been your brother for a number of years, it doesn't change that. He's never stolen from you before, has he? I think the suggestions that he is going to rob you of anything not nailed down or (geez) hurt you might be a little overblown. Talk to him. Think about it for a sec - if he really thought that he either wasn't going to get caught or that he could just sucker you into letting him get away with it, he would have withdrawn the maximum amount. Not increments under $100. Before you worry about what to do, just talk to him and get a sense of the situation. Again - I realize what a big deal stealing is, but $80 is not a lot of money to ruin a lifelong relationship.
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  3. #28
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    It's not the amount, it's the betrayal. He stole her ATM card and PIN from her own home; he completely violated her. He took all the faith and trust she put into him, when no one else was giving him that, and he threw it away for whatever he bought with that $80. That matters a lot more than the money, and it says volumes about his lack of character.

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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    I would press charges. It's 80 bucks now, but who is to say that in the future he wont figure a way to wipe out your account? I know he is like family to ya but you need to wake this clown up with the harshness of reality.

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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Cinn - he stole $80. I realize it is not alright, I'm not suggesting "by gones", but I do think if this guy has been your brother for a number of years, it doesn't change that. He's never stolen from you before, has he? I think the suggestions that he is going to rob you of anything not nailed down or (geez) hurt you might be a little overblown. Talk to him. Think about it for a sec - if he really thought that he either wasn't going to get caught or that he could just sucker you into letting him get away with it, he would have withdrawn the maximum amount. Not increments under $100. Before you worry about what to do, just talk to him and get a sense of the situation. Again - I realize what a big deal stealing is, but $80 is not a lot of money to ruin a lifelong relationship.
    Sure it is. He took it from her, so if it was me....i'd first stomp his ass then i would have him arrested.

  6. #31
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Exactly. You guys that are going, "Well, he's FAMILY" - WTF, she's his family too and look what he did to her. Family takes care of each other and supports each other. They don't steal from each other. The moment you violate the sanctity of my home and bank account, you cease to be family and you become a thief.

    I love my brothers with all my heart, I really do. If they needed me, I'd do anything I could to help them. But if one of them were to fuck me over like that, you better believe I'd press charges and hope a little tough love taught him never to do that again. (And yes, I'd be there with bells on to support him when he got out of jail, but it would be a long time before I allowed him into my home again.)

  7. #32
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    You're having him back over to your house? Why on earth? He'll just steal something else.
    Nah, nothing worth taking in the living room.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Cin, I have the exact same thing happen to me, except it was my son and not my brother. I did NOT press charges, but I did change the PIN on all my cards and bought a combination lockbox where I put my wallet, checkbooks, and keys whenever they're not in my pocket and the pocket isn't on my body.

    But if he gets arrested again, I am not going to bail him out. At least that is my plan.

    None of us knows what we would really do in a situation like this until we are actually in it. I'm sorry this has happened to you, and I know how sick and violated you feel. You're in my prayers tonight, friend, and your brother too.

  9. #34
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Wow...Cin, I don't know what to say. That's pretty bad.

    You are a nice person, but you let people get away with stuff. You need to start standing up for yourself and put off the vibe that you won't put up with shit that is rude, disrespectful, etc to you. You can still be a nice person and not put up with that kind of behavior.

    When your brother comes over, make sure you do not back down from standing up for yourself. He may be your brother, but that does not give him the right to do what he did.

    Wow...other than that, I don't know what I would do in your shoes. Just promise you'll stand up for yourself, though...ok?

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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    I mean he just applied for a job with a police check - you probably don't want to be the reason he can't get a job like that in the future over a matter of $80.
    She wouldn't be the reason he didn't get the job over $80, HE WOULD BE!!!

    Its not her fault he's a thief, its his.

    Report the crook, that is what he is, blood or no blood.
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  11. #36
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess View Post
    Wow...Cin, I don't know what to say. That's pretty bad.

    You are a nice person, but you let people get away with stuff. You need to start standing up for yourself and put off the vibe that you won't put up with shit that is rude, disrespectful, etc to you. You can still be a nice person and not put up with that kind of behavior.

    When your brother comes over, make sure you do not back down from standing up for yourself. He may be your brother, but that does not give him the right to do what he did.

    Wow...other than that, I don't know what I would do in your shoes. Just promise you'll stand up for yourself, though...ok?
    I agree with Venus! I have had my half-brother steal from me. I didn't press charges, but I did confront him. I no longer allow people to treat me like a doormat that you can wipe your feet on anytime they want to either.

  12. #37
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Update us after he comes over. I'm sorry Cinn You're just too nice of a person to have people shit on you like this.

    And I hate that "it's family" excuse. Well how far are you people willing to take that excuse? Would you go so far as to let them steal your identity? Commit a murder? Rape somebody? Because, yanno, it's family?

    No, it doesn't make it OK, family or not.

  13. #38
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    Update us after he comes over. I'm sorry Cinn You're just too nice of a person to have people shit on you like this.

    And I hate that "it's family" excuse. Well how far are you people willing to take that excuse? Would you go so far as to let them steal your identity? Commit a murder? Rape somebody? Because, yanno, it's family?

    No, it doesn't make it OK, family or not.
    Okay... clearly all y'all have a different idea of constitutes a breaking point with someone you love. I would be angry - I think she should be angry. But I can tell you for damn sure and certain that my sister would have to take a hell of a lot more than $80 from me before I'd be willing to see her in prison for violating probation - particularly without talking to her first.
    Yes it was a betrayal - but people screw up, people do bad things and it is generally the people who love you that give you another chance. Anyone who has never needed a second chance, raise your hands? (Anyone with their hand up is a fucking liar). In my family we're kind of the "all in" sort.

    As for "how far" to take "that excuse" (which, by the way, it is not really an excuse so much as a strategy of dealing with the behaviour) - I would say that is a issue to be decided case by case - but I don't think many people would see the loss of $80 as equivalent to theft of identity, rape or murder.
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  14. #39
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    True.

    I think I was ranting at more along the lines of people that think "Oh it's family, I would never turn the law on them (etc) no matter WHAT."

  15. #40
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Everyone needs second chances in life, but NOT everyone steals from family. Maybe he stole such a small amount because he thought maybe it wouldn't be so obvious and could possibly be looked over. CK wouldn't be the reason for him loosing out on a job or going to jail, he would. A theif is a theif.

  16. #41
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Alright ya'll...

    He came over here, and I somehow managed to listen to him rant and rave about some female he's currently dealing with. I got the courage to ask tell him:

    Me: You know I'm disappointed in you right?
    Chris: What?
    Me: I know you went and took my bank card and took money out!

    OMG he played it so cool and calm, as if nothing was wrong. I told him, "listen I know you did it because you left my house a little before 2pm, and the $60 was taking at 2:01pm then the second amount was taking after 4pm on a side of town that you frequent.

    He looked at me, like he was fucking shocked that I would even have the nerve to accuse him. He was like, "what why would I do something like that? You already know that when I need something from you I ask you for it...so why would I steal from you"

    I told him that my bank told me they will be looking into the tapes to see who actually took it, since he (this makes me mad) swore on his kids, and his other sisters deceased child...

    My aunt ended up coming over during our conversation with my baby brother (15yr old) , so I kinda dropped the subject. Him and my brother just walked to the park by my house..I'm so pissed right now.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  17. #42
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses View Post
    Alright ya'll...

    He came over here, and I somehow managed to listen to him rant and rave about some female he's currently dealing with. I got the courage to ask tell him:

    Me: You know I'm disappointed in you right?
    Chris: What?
    Me: I know you went and took my bank card and took money out!

    OMG he played it so cool and calm, as if nothing was wrong. I told him, "listen I know you did it because you left my house a little before 2pm, and the $60 was taking at 2:01pm then the second amount was taking after 4pm on a side of town that you frequent.

    He looked at me, like he was fucking shocked that I would even have the nerve to accuse him. He was like, "what why would I do something like that? You already know that when I need something from you I ask you for it...so why would I steal from you"

    I told him that my bank told me they will be looking into the tapes to see who actually took it, since he (this makes me mad) swore on his kids, and his other sisters deceased child...

    My aunt ended up coming over during our conversation with my baby brother (15yr old) , so I kinda dropped the subject. Him and my brother just walked to the park by my house..I'm so pissed right now.
    So your bank is really gonna look at the tapes?
    If they tell you he did it and he sat there and LIED, ohhhh that's a definite press charges.

  18. #43
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckiCharm View Post
    So your bank is really gonna look at the tapes?
    If they tell you he did it and he sat there and LIED, ohhhh that's a definite press charges.
    Exactly, I mean he didn't break a sweat or anything. I'm most definately pressing charges if it comes back that his ass is on those tapes. Like I explained to him, NO ONE comes over my house. I rarely have company...then just so happens the day you come visit me, I get charges on my debit card around the same time you leave my house yea right!







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  19. #44
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Wow. I'm sorry sorry your family treats you like this CK, your one sister with the babysitting/shopping/mother and your brother with this... Are you really getting a check to see that it's him in the tapes? if so I would tell him that you are dissapointed in him for having not only stolen it, lied about it and sworn on all the people he swore on, but that you are never ever lending him any money ever again. You aren't pressing charges this time, but if anything like this happens again you are sorry and it will really hurt to do it but you will press charges because he is obviously not learning from his mistakes.

    I am so sorry you have to deal with this, I really am
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  20. #45
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses View Post
    Exactly, I mean he didn't break a sweat or anything.
    I know that my natural instinct is to lie when I think I'm in trouble with my parents or family, and I am damn good at it and it happens w/o my thinking about it, so maybe that's what happened... but still... i dunno... I think I take back what I said. Tell him if the tapes show that it's him you will press charges if not no harm no foul, so he has nothing to worry about (which of course isnt true)... like you said he did this to himself.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
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    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

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  21. #46
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    OMG, the nerve of some people! I hate thieves!

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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Just to be clear,

    I'm all in favor of showing people mercy, giving them another chance. People are imperfect. We all are. People make mistakes, sometimes bad ones, sometimes mistakes they know are plain out wrong, and yet, still they screw up. I don't believe in completely writing people off because they are imperfect or make mistakes, but...

    It's just that her description of these events (keeping in mind we are only hearing one side of a story) left me with the feeling that she may well be dealing with someone who has no true remorse, who used her, and sadly that means is probably doing the same to others he knows less well. I admit, I drew that conclusion based on very limited info, so I guess she will have to wait and see whats up with the video tape. There are people though who end up being outright dangerous, and even though a part of me can still feel compassion for them, another part of me says "protect yourself at all costs". I'm not saying she should completely write off her bro, but going forward she may well have to face some facts about him, and protect herself.

  23. #48
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    Ok...he swore on his own kids and his sister's kid?!!! You NEED to press charges. He feels absolutely go guilt. I don't understand how anyone could have the courage to steal from family. Like a lot of the previous posts said, he will never learn if he never has to face consequences, even for the small things.

  24. #49
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    When is the bank gonna let you know about the tape?

  25. #50
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?

    OMG, that is DEFINITELY a charge-pressing situation! I'm sorry, Cin!

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