Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 29

Thread: I Guess not...

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default I Guess not...

    I told my boyfriend what i planned on doing and he freaked out! His reaction was completely unexpected. He was like "I don't want men seeing you naked and gettin a bon*r and then goin home and j*rking off!!" How does your boyfriend feel about what you do and how did you convince him that it really wasn't that bad.
    Last edited by MizAditude; 06-22-2007 at 10:59 AM. Reason: spelling

  2. #2
    BrunetteGoddess
    Guest

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    Um, my response would be " Um honey, plenty of men probably get boners and go home and jerk off when they see me out at the grocery store or walking around in public"


  3. #3
    Member
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    Um, my response would be " Um honey, plenty of men probably get boners and go home and jerk off when they see me out at the grocery store or walking around in public"

    lol!!

  4. #4
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    3,354
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 57 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    .....
    Last edited by Deni; 10-11-2008 at 10:24 AM.

  5. #5
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    He's absolutely right. No man should ever see you, because they might be aroused and fantasize about you. That's why you should never, ever leave the house unless you're with him, your father, or a brother, and you should always wear a burqa when in public. At home you may show your face so you can do the housework, but you should paint your windows black and you should still keep your body completely covered. You're his property, after all, and no other man should EVER enjoy looking at his property.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Lisbeth's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Location
    SC, USA
    Posts
    86
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    I gotta agree with Yek and Deni here. Theres no way to make him just change his mind. 1 you really have to wonder about his insecurities if hes that against the idea, 2 is it worth potentially losing him over, 3 where will he draw the line? No dancing, next will it be no going out without his permission? I've been in a relationship like that, it got out of hand fast. Good luck hon

  7. #7
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Location
    301240202703571
    Posts
    2,032
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 10 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    He's absolutely right. No man should ever see you, because they might be aroused and fantasize about you. That's why you should never, ever leave the house unless you're with him, your father, or a brother, and you should always wear a burqa when in public. At home you may show your face so you can do the housework, but you should paint your windows black and you should still keep your body completely covered. You're his property, after all, and no other man should EVER enjoy looking at his property.
    I love you... just throwin' that out there, you can throw it back if you want.

    Anyway my boyfriend is against me dancing because he doesnt want anyone else to see what he can see. He is also very aware that he is dealing with jealousy issues which really means he used to see his girlfriends as being property. Because he recognizes this he wants me to dance because he needs to learn to get out of that mindset. he has made an AMAZING amount of change in the past two years on himself as a person and this is something he wants to work on. I have explained to him fully that 1) this is a job, just like me working in a bar, or office... I go in, do my job, go home. 2) I am not his crazy ex who was a stripper. Hge is not the asshole boyfriend who makes her work to make him money. 3) what he get to see and touch and be with is what other men have to pay for. 4) I will not be drinking or doing any drugs while I'm working 5) I want to do this, it isn't something I feel forced to do. he has told me that he doesnt want to hear about the customers (altho he wants to hear the drama going on with the girls - he's a big girl himself and loves gossip), he doesn't ever want to see me dance, and the only way that he's ok with it is if I seem like I'm ok with it, and as long as I'm happy he's happy. Hope that helped.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    ^^^ That's awesome. And I love you too!

  9. #9
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Somewhere cold
    Posts
    2,175
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 33 Times in 17 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    I had a very hard time with my man and dancing. We had to talk about it for a while before he was ok with it. Remind him that its a job...and your coming home to him. And shouldnt he like having a girlfriend that other guys lust after?


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  10. #10
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,945
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    Boyfriend's reaction wasn't even on the radar for me. I told him I had plans to become a dancer, but I wanted his opinion on it first. He thought about it for a second, shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno." I was hoping for an 'okay.' or maybe even a 'I'm not so sure..' but I had no idea how to gauge that one. He honestly doesn't care. Though I busted out my shoes and outfit for him one night. He was stoked. "My girlfriend is a stripper!" XDXDXD He's so cute. Bless his (stripper-lovin') heart.

  11. #11
    Member
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lisbeth View Post
    I gotta agree with Yek and Deni here. Theres no way to make him just change his mind. 1 you really have to wonder about his insecurities if hes that against the idea, 2 is it worth potentially losing him over, 3 where will he draw the line? No dancing, next will it be no going out without his permission? I've been in a relationship like that, it got out of hand fast. Good luck hon
    That's the thing, he is VERY insecure. He says i'd be degrading myself. But i don't think of it that way at all since its by choice, its not like someone is forcing me to do it. This is the only thing that he is completely against. He's not controlling at all because im not the type to be controlled. The only reason that im not doing this is because this is the one thing that he really really doesn't want me to do and its not like he's the one guy in america that is against his girlfriend stripping.

  12. #12
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Location
    301240202703571
    Posts
    2,032
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 10 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    uhm... imo and in my experience insecure guys wont last, and wont let you grow as a person. his insecurities will probably spawn into jeaousy and that's why he doesnt want you dancing and if that's the case then, well... do you really want to be with someone like that? I dont know you or him, but I know guys and that just isn't a very good trait in a man. but just so I can get this straight because of his insecurities you're not going to dance?
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #13
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Somewhere cold
    Posts
    2,175
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 33 Times in 17 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    My man is very insecure as well...and still has issues with me dancing. But I laid it down for him, said "this is me, this is what I want, and this is what i will do, with or without you." You're young, you can't let a relationship hold you back.


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  14. #14
    BrunetteGoddess
    Guest

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post
    uhm... imo and in my experience insecure guys wont last, and wont let you grow as a person. his insecurities will probably spawn into jeaousy and that's why he doesnt want you dancing and if that's the case then, well... do you really want to be with someone like that? I dont know you or him, but I know guys and that just isn't a very good trait in a man. but just so I can get this straight because of his insecurities you're not going to dance?
    I'm not saying this guy isn't a douche, because hey, I don't know him. But contrary to popular belief, some people value their relationships more than dancing sometimes. It's been known to happen. A relationship is about give and take, and compromise. Some women are willing to compromise forgetting about dancing in order to be with their man. Just because he's insecure doesn't mean he's a horrible boyfriend.

    Just playing the devil's advocate here, because I can see it from both sides.

  15. #15
    Veteran Member Habinairo's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    303
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    If it's a big enough problem, why don't you become a bartender in the strip club? You'll be able to get him in there to see it's not what he thinks, and maybe once he calms down, you can transfer over.
    Or just have a "Girls' Night Out", and he'll never know!!! hahaha

  16. #16
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Location
    301240202703571
    Posts
    2,032
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 10 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    I'm not saying this guy isn't a douche, because hey, I don't know him. But contrary to popular belief, some people value their relationships more than dancing sometimes. It's been known to happen. A relationship is about give and take, and compromise. Some women are willing to compromise forgetting about dancing in order to be with their man. Just because he's insecure doesn't mean he's a horrible boyfriend.

    Just playing the devil's advocate here, because I can see it from both sides.
    I agree 100% but I said that I don't know anything about him or their relationship. It isn't always possible but I just feel that everyone should do what they want regardless. And yes, compromise is essential, but not doing something you want to do because of someone elses hang ups seems counter productive to me. Like I said about my b/f he has issues with me dancing because of his own hang ups and rather than trying to tell me I can't do it or to compromise about me doing it (he could say he only wants me dancing in VA because then I wont be full nude) he says "hey this is me and my issues, let me try and work on that because it will better myself and make our relationship stronger" And we will work things out as they come up, and if it doesn't work out then the decision of dancing or b/f will be made. I agree that dancing is not priority number one and many times a relationship comes first, but I think that sometimes the relationship and the reasons decisions are made should be examined and explored. And esp if the person is young. We are all growing and changing so very very much when we are young... Yeah the end, that's just how I feel.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    166
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    Honestly, get him to come here. When my fiancee told me she wanted to be a stripper, I wasn't jealous so much as scared (which he may be a little of too, just too macho to admit it). I had visions of large, heavily armed stalkers showing up at the door. After reading SW, I chilled. He'll see that many, many people dance and manage to stay both alive and in serious relationships. SW dispells all sorts of stereotypes. If he "meets" the people here and still is being a dope, well...

    Siber
    "Maybe you'll ask me to come back again and
    Maybe I'll say.... Maybe"

  18. #18
    Member
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    I don't even think i could get him to go to the club. Everytime i even mention it again he gets mad all over again. But now since someone rear ended my car and i'll have to get a new one, maybe i can convince him that we REALLY need the money now. He just sees it as degrading and he thinks im better than that. But as previously stated, i don't see it as degrading because its something i've wanted to do for a while. I don't think he'll refuse to marry me for doing this but i don't want him to constantly be thinking about it. Honestly it really isn't fair to me because i have wanted to do this for a while and now that im finally of age, i can't because of him? That pisses me off. And it really makes me rethink this relationship. I have never told him he couldn't do anything. Those of you that said he might become crazily possessive, i don't think that will happen because he knows i'll f*ck him up (I may not be able to beat him but i can try!) and i'll leave him.

  19. #19
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Somewhere cold
    Posts
    2,175
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 33 Times in 17 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    If he won't even go check out a club with you then he seems pretty close minded. What guy doesnt at least want to go look at boobs? The bartending idea might be good (or waitressing, or if they have shot girls) to start. But from the way youre talking it seems like this is something you've had your heart into for a while and it would suck for you to have to give that up.


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  20. #20
    Member
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    I cant bartend cuz im only 18. I think the only thing i can do there is dance

  21. #21
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Somewhere cold
    Posts
    2,175
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 33 Times in 17 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    oooo you can bartend at some states at 18. Maybe try to convince him to let you try amateur NIGHT? Just tell him this is something you really want to do and youre willing to make compromises and make it as comfortable as possible for him because you love him and therefore if he loves you than he should be willing to work with you and your wants.


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  22. #22
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Location
    301240202703571
    Posts
    2,032
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 10 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    How far are you from the state line? Maybe you could work in another state which allows you to tend bar younger. Alternatly could you waitress?
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  23. #23
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    your moms house
    Posts
    5,050
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 648 Times in 256 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    i am so sick of these threads. i'm sorry.

    maybe you should search for the threads of the 302 other girls and boys who've asked "what did/does your boyfriend think" and read all of the opinions.

    i'm starting to think i should make a script to answer certain questions. since my opinion is almost always the same on these matters.

  24. #24
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Location
    301240202703571
    Posts
    2,032
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 10 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    ^^ I say the same thing to almost everyone in these sort of threads... The search option is often under used. And I agree with you but at the same time... no one makes you look at these threads, you could chose something else to read. I read these because I always sort of hope someone says something new and helpful that I can use for me and my man... But yeah... I feel you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  25. #25
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    your moms house
    Posts
    5,050
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 648 Times in 256 Posts

    Default Re: I Guess not...

    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post
    ^^ I say the same thing to almost everyone in these sort of threads... The search option is often under used. And I agree with you but at the same time... no one makes you look at these threads, you could chose something else to read. I read these because I always sort of hope someone says something new and helpful that I can use for me and my man... But yeah... I feel you.

    well the thread title "i guess not" isn't exactly "what should i say to my boyfriend" i didn't know what the thread would be about till i opened it and read the first couple lines. at that point the reply button was too close and tempting.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Guess What?!...
    By kaluah21 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 08-07-2008, 04:20 PM
  2. Do you try to guess?
    By MissTaylor in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-14-2008, 12:02 AM
  3. I guess I will be alone on Xmas..good I guess
    By twisterinAZ in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 12-17-2006, 02:49 PM
  4. Guess who
    By Mastridonicus in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-04-2006, 08:21 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •