Why are you on my ass? I clean my ass every day. I take pretty good care of my ass. However, for some reason, you have seen fit to take up temporary residence on the center of my left ass cheek. You are causing me discomfort when I sit down and I have to shift my weight to my right ass cheek to avoid putting pressure on you.
I hope you do not have ambitions to become a boil or anything like that. I have no choice but to endure your presence for the time being, but if you persist with this choice of residence, I will be forced to take extreme measures to evict you.
Sincerely,
Mr Hyde



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