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Thread: Men Customers: Read Me

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    Senior Member HuxandKisses's Avatar
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    Default Men Customers: Read Me

    HI!

    I'm wondering what are some pet peeves of the patrons when getting a lap dance.

    For instance, last night I was sliding down my guys front, and I realized, what if I'm squashing his dick but he's to shy to say anything or look visibly shaken?

    tell me what you DON'T like about lap dances then follow that up with what you LOVE -

    please.

    thanks!
    ~Love From Alexis

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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    I don't really like when a dancer uses dirty talk. Mostly because I know it is BS in about 99.9% of cases and it kind of deadens the experience for me. To be frank I would rather have her talk about the weather...

    Going beyond the basics (gorgeous naked woman dancing for me). What I do like is smiles and playfulness. If she exhibits an enjoyable personality, well, that makes it fun. I am there to have fun first and foremost.

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    Senior Member Moodmaster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    Turn off: Unless I ask, carrying on a conversation about "current affairs" (( world peace, your broken-down car, the neighbor's cat)) during a VIP dance.

    Conversation is great and appreciated, but when you are paying big bux, you'd like to forget the rest of the world and get in the mood.

    Turn on: Gentle touching and teasing.


    --- I agree with crizgolfer. Dirty talk or moaning and groaning in the first 10 seconds are fake and a turn off.... Regarding the weather, let's save that for non-dance time.

    Thanks for asking!

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    Veteran Member rlams2000's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    turn offs:
    Bad breath
    body glitter
    heavy grinding, or when she does nothing but grind.
    talking dirty, I'm 49 years old, I know that I don't turn you on or make you horny.

    Turn ons:
    Friendly, playful and a positive upbeat personality.
    Being appreciative of tips.

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    Veteran Member casaubon1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    Most dances I get these days are pretty good -- watching a stage show and how a dancer handles the initial conversation/body language are pretty good indicators whether the LD will be fun. Most bad dances seem to happen on busy "wanna dance" nights when the best dancers are really busy and there isn't much chance to do any "pre-screening"

    Don't like:

    -- dancers who go into cold autopilot/robot mode, especially when they focus on the customer again only in the last 20 seconds just to sell the next song
    -- distracting conversation, except when we agree to take a break (if I really like a dancer I may offer to pay for a few songs while we talk, but it shouldn't be assumed)
    -- body glitter (could not agree more with rlams)
    -- acrobatics (save them for the stage; private dancing is the time to slow down)
    -- body odor or bad breath (very unlikely to get to a dance in the first place)
    -- cheap, insincere compliments or dirty talk (compliments that are at least conceivably true are welcome, even knowing that they are SS. Good SS is part of the fun.)


    Do like:
    -- slow, sexy dancing
    -- eye contact
    -- good attitude -- dancers who are comfortable dancing seem to give off an aura of contentment that actually is quite flattering to the guy
    -- a gentle touch on the neck, back of head, shoulders, etc; swish of hair along the face
    -- a little breath or sound in the ear

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    Offs~
    • Robostripper (Dead or alive, you're coming with me)
    • Robostripper 2: Bot in the back (boobs in face '1-2-3-4', now ass in crotch '1-2-3-4', now reverse cowgirl '1-2-3-4-5', now [insert lapdance move here] '1-2-3-4')


    offs
    • "Want more? 300$"
    • "Oh you're at my stage and tipping, lemme just grab your money you haven't tipped me and act like you did"
    • "Care for a naked massage, i'm NOT a prostitute."

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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    Quote Originally Posted by Moodmaster View Post
    ... Regarding the weather, let's save that for non-dance time.

    I didn't actually say I wanted her to talk about the weather. I was eluding to the fact that it would be less of a turn-off...

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    Quote Originally Posted by Madcap View Post
    Offs~
    • Robostripper (Dead or alive, you're coming with me)
    • Robostripper 2: Bot in the back (boobs in face '1-2-3-4', now ass in crotch '1-2-3-4', now reverse cowgirl '1-2-3-4-5', now [insert lapdance move here] '1-2-3-4')


    offs
    • "Want more? 300$"
    • "Oh you're at my stage and tipping, lemme just grab your money you haven't tipped me and act like you did"
    • "Care for a naked massage, i'm NOT a prostitute."
    Mad, you are starting to sound jaded. What happened? I have always viewed you as, you know, a positive customer

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    This is a great idea for a thread.

    Im so glad to hear that most customers dont like dirty talk coz I never do that. It's funny im totally comfortable with being naked in front of strangers but when it comes to dirty talk ahh no way I get so embarrased and grossed out.

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    Veteran Member Littlelo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    ^^Same here.

    Now what about "bootyshaking" or whatever you want to call it. I've never bothered to learn how becuase I think it looks a bit silly when most girls do it. What do you guys think?

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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    The booty shake will pretty much guarantee that you have done your last dance ever for me...

    As far as turn-ons:

    Be Brazilian or Asian
    Don't chit-chat during the dance, I'm gonna spend plenty of money if I like you, we can talk after.
    Eye Contact
    Chest rubbing (mine, although we can do yours too if you want....)
    Surprise me....
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    i'm a female dance and customer but thought i'd put in my opinion.
    dont's: talking about your children or medical problems, it ruins the fantasy; shoeing lack of confidence by talking shit about themselves; staying in the same position for the whole dance, especially when you're just grinding on my knee; also hurting my face with extremely hard fake boobs pressed against it, and yes, please no bootyshaking.
    do's: light breathing near the ear, acting like you enjoy your job or giving dances, a friendly, not stuck up attitude, being grateful for tips on dances

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    oh as a dancer I hate the ass slap and I never do it! I think it's silly but a couple of custies have asked me to slap it so i will.

    But i see sooooooooo many dancers slapping their asses continually.

    Do u guys like it?

  14. #14
    Veteran Member Lapaholic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    OP I have had the slide down during a LD while i was sitting on this rather hard sofa. I thought I would die or at the very least my junk would be crushed and I would be taken to the hospital with everyone laughing at the guys whose balls exploded while geting a lap dance. I didnt say anything to the dancer either ..

    They other thing I hate is pounding the private area really hard. I just hate hard grindy lap dances. The face to face hard grinding where it seems the dancer wants to pummel your privates to dust cause her BF just left her for the house mom

    What i love in a lap dance. Most anything but esp. soft sensual LD. Breathing in the ear is always appreciated. As well as the dancer touching me - not "there" but you know the head and hair, shoulders. That stuff ... yeah heres another 25 bucks - yeah thats right ..... Smack!!! - I dont mind a good ass slap and wont deduct any points for it !!!! , Oh u want me to slap it - Well OK!!, I can do one more dance... Sweet talking ( but not fake moaning - no no no), Did u just bite my ear - here is another 25 ... Whose your daddy? oh yeah ... ( Well no I hate that phrase too but in this case I'll forget u said it ) .. Putting b0obs in face never hurt anyone im sure ... Another one? Sure why not? ... she turns with her back to me and lies against me, her face next to mine - oh boy - God I hope the club takes Diners Club!!!

    Thats what I like most in a LD!!!

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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    Eye contact is a turn-on and at the other end of the spectrum, nothing is more of a turn-off than a dancer scanning the club while on your lap. I feel like saying " hello, remember me ?"

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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    turn offs:
    bad body odour.
    having my head forced between the dancers legs so my face is only 1 inch away from the kitty.
    constant heavy grinding for the entire dance.
    total air dances in a contact club.
    using bad language towards me for no reason (only happened once in 10 years though)
    dances that are over way sooner than they should be and then being asked for more money to continue.


    turn ons:
    the smell of perfume.
    the smell of freshly washed hair.
    breasts or nipples lightly rubbed across my face.
    slow dances.
    dancer slowly moving her hands over my chest, arms, shoulders or down my leg.
    the occasional eye contact and smile.
    very light grinding.
    soft touching.
    a kiss on the cheek afterwards, or on the lips if she feels inclined.

  17. #17
    Veteran Member Lapaholic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    Oh yeah Bern and looking at the mirror - kinda related but I hate that if its non-stop. I know u ladies luv to look in a mirror but once in a while take a gander at the pitiful blob of flesh u r working so hard to entertain! Really its not so bad.... ooh except for that guy over there!!!

  18. #18
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    As a female customer, my pet peeve is when the dancer uses the dance *I* paid for to put on a show for someone else. I paid the same money a man would've paid, please give me the same attention you would've given a man. Don't take the opportunity to grandstand for all the boys and make a production out of grinding what isn't there. This happened to me again on Saturday and I really hate that; I like my lapdances soft and intimate.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    im suprised the guys dont liek the booty shaking. i think it looks dumb but i always did it. maybe ill not do it if i go back to dancing...

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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    This is great to read, because at my one club many of the girls do the 'hard ride' sort of lap and I get a number of young custies asking for 'that sort' of dance. I can't help but think--that's going to hurt!

    Rose Leigh

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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    oh as a dancer I hate the ass slap and I never do it! I think it's silly but a couple of custies have asked me to slap it so i will.

    But i see sooooooooo many dancers slapping their asses continually.

    Do u guys like it?
    Ass slap does nothing for me.

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    Veteran Member Robertjordan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    Turn offs:

    Dancers who smell like cigarettes.

    Dancers who wear way too much perfume or glitter that gets all over me.

    I once had a dancer have a conversation with another dancer while giving me a lapdance. Nothing sexy either, just about how their day was and such. And she had the nerve to ask me if I wanted another dance!

    Don't talk about your kids or relationships.

    Turn ons:

    Be into me and the dance.

    Tell me about the crazy shit that you do. I'm a straight 9-5 guy these days and hearing about your wild adventures (even if made up) are a turn on. Tell me about how you skinny dip, sunbathe topless, do amateur porn, etc.

    Acknowledge when I'm aroused. I'm not talking about grabbing it or anything, just simply acknowledging it. I like that. You could just look down and say, looks like you're having fun. Something simple like that so I know that you know that I'm aroused.

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    Veteran Member Robertjordan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    im suprised the guys dont liek the booty shaking. i think it looks dumb but i always did it. maybe ill not do it if i go back to dancing...
    Booty shaking does absolutely nothing for me


    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    oh as a dancer I hate the ass slap and I never do it! I think it's silly but a couple of custies have asked me to slap it so i will.

    But i see sooooooooo many dancers slapping their asses continually.

    Do u guys like it?
    I love asses and ass slapping can be great if done correctly. Accompanied with a come here and get some of this look and at the same time a kind of I like it a little rough look, is awesome. It has to be done correctly though or it can be silly as you say.

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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    As a customer I hate when a girl looks bored or stares into the mirror. It's something I pay a lot of attention to when I dance, so I feel other dancers should try to at least pretend to be interested.

    I like when the girl lightly touches her boobs to your face rather than motorboating you or smashing them into you and suffocating you.

    When the dancer smiles a little and makes fun or flirty comments. I like to know that she is having fun too, that I'm not paying her to do something she hates.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Moodmaster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men Customers: Read Me

    It's amazing how similar all of the comments are here!

    There is one that I forgot that is a MAJOR turnoff..... Chewing Gum.

    I'm sure that it helps the dancer keep up her minty breath, but chewin' your cud moves my mood from a 10 to a 2 in about a nanosecond.

    It's right up there with the girl doing the stage set while chewin' the cud and constantly watching herself (not the custy's) in the mirror. I try to tip almost every stage set, but that is one that I'll pass on every time.

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