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Thread: Worst Date Ever?

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    Default Worst Date Ever?

    I'm curious about "worst date ever" stories--there is a long line of mushroom clouds following my dating life, so I can start. With a summer night, a blind date (one of only two in my life) in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I'd heard the woman was breathtaking, so I went all out, bought new clothes at Marshall's (I don't know if you readers in Australia have them, but they are a slight step up from K-Mart...I'm a classy guy). The woman was, indeed, far more beautiful than I am handsome, but we hit it off well: then she grew quiet as we walked about a crowded city square. On the way home, on the subway, I tried to figure out what I'd done wrong, then realized I'd left a long tape down the side of my pants repeating, W36L32W36L32...
    JK Jim

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    Kaylinn
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    If that's the worst date you've ever had, then you've been lucky.

    I've had so many bad dates, I don't knwo where to start.

    Maybe with the guy who picked me up, and asked if he could use the bathroom before we left. I said of course, and waiting in the living room. Well..he was takign awhile, so I walked into the kitchen to get a drink, and on m,y way, passed the bathroom.

    Where he was takgin a shit, with the door wide open. Was he embarassed? Socked that I walked by? Nope. He said, hey...get me a drink to!
    This was out first (and last) date. I suddenly got sick and couldn't go to dinner. I politely refused to reschedule

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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    ive never had a bad date... (thats why you prequalify)
    but ive had dates where me and the girl had completely different personalities, and just did not clash at all

    but that doesn't mean it was necessarily bad , because atleast you get to meet someone new in your life..

  4. #4
    madmaxine
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    * The SteriodHead Bodybuilder who was using Travis Bickle's dialogue from "Taxi Driver" on me (I was skeeeered.)

    * The Liar who told me he had two kids. On the date, there were three more kids he "forgot" to tell me about. Maybe he was The Old Man Who Lived In A Shoe? LOL I hate liars though.

    * Dates with one of my exes who dumped me & I was dumb enough to f*ck him again...I was always wanting to crawl away in shame when I was around him. The sex wasn't even worth it anymore, he was a piece of....work.

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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    Jeez, Kaylinn, that was quite a character. I'm glad you didn't see any more (literally) of him.
    JK Jim

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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    Quote Originally Posted by jhuka View Post
    ...She grew quiet as we walked about a crowded city square. On the way home, on the subway, I tried to figure out what I'd done wrong, then realized I'd left a long tape down the side of my pants repeating, W36L32W36L32...
    I always wonder when I hear stories like this... what's wrong with this woman? Why couldn't she be like, "Oooh, I just noticed you have something stuck to your pants... here, I'll get it off for you" and just pulled it off, thrown it away, and not brought it up again, thereby smoothing over the whole affair entirely? Maybe I have a stunted sense of decorum, but I try to act like a normal, friendly person on dates, not an etiquette stickler and perfection enforcer.

    Um... I've had so many completely absurd dates that it's going to be hard to think of the one worst date, but a few shitty ones come to mind:

    -After going out to a very late dinner (it was after work for me) we wound up back at his house. I don't know if it's because he thought that me being at his place at 4AM necessarily equaled sex, but when I refused to fuck him (which he was pursuing all too aggresively) he started cursing at me and kicked me out of his house. It sucked because at the time I did not have a cell phone and I had to walk to a main street in the middle of the night and hail a cab.

    -Another guy took me out to a bar. He was very polite, understood that I didn't like to drink and bought me bottled water and gave me money to play on the jukebox. We were playing pool and everything was going fine until his ex-fiance called and he had a huge, screaming argument with her on his cell in front of everybody. When he got off the phone, he looked at me with tears in his eyes, wrenched this silver ring off his finger (what ring was it? who knows), got down on his knees, and asked me to marry him in front of everybody. Thankfully, no one at the bar batted an eye, as I feared they would while witnessing a marriage proposal (you know how in movies bystanders always cheer or cry or boo or clap or something when someone's getting proposed to? I was instantly terrified that would happen because everyone would think he was serious. Fortunately, it didn't). I took this to mean that he was a recognized crazy customer who, for all I knew, had lover's quarrels and proposed marriage to strangers all the time.


    -Another guy, who was honestly more of a would-be one night stand than a real date, took me back to his place. We started making out furiously, when in one fell swoop he ripped my clothes off, pulled his cock out, and came on my chest. Then he grinned real proudly, got off of me, zipped his pants up, helped me up, and led me to the door. I am still so confused about exactly what happened that I'm just going to end this story here.

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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    You should write a book, Teeth--seriously: the way you described everything, I could see that wild proposal, the bar, the whole thing. Are you a writer? I have a feeling you are.

    I agree-- I don't understand why the woman didn't rip the tape off me and make a joke of it, truthfully. If she had, the whole thing would have taken a different course--it is like Milan Kundera said, "metaphors are not to be trifled with...a single metaphor can give birth to love."
    JK Jim

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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    I once when on a date with a guy who's 'ace in the hole' for getting a second date was showing me his bank account with over a million dollars in it and saying, "If you marry me, half that can be yours! And I'll even give up the car stealing!"


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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    I can't top that, Lilith--he must have considered himself quite a catch!

    I was recently out with a woman who, at the end of the first date, asked me where I felt our relationship was going. I understood--she feels time is ticking for her--but it was a little fast for me!
    JK Jim

  10. #10
    Yekhefah
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    Right after my divorce, I was new in Hollywood and had just moved into my own apartment. I was all set and ready to enter The Dating Scene. While doing some returns for a movie I'd just worked on, I met an okay-looking guy who said he had tickets to the Pixies at the Greek Theater and asked me to go. I accepted, gave him my number, and made the date. I only talked to him on the phone once or twice beforehand, and never for long as I don't like talking on the phone.

    So for all intents and purposes, this is a blind date. He arrives on a purple-and-yellow moped. Yes, I said moped. I decided I would drive us instead. We went to a nice Indian restaurant, where I had to order the wine because he couldn't read the wine list by candlelight, as his bifocals weren't that good. It turned out he was older than my mother, he had assumed I was about 18 (I was 25), and he spent most of the dinner exclaiming over how young I was and trying to offer fatherly advice. We finally went to the concert, where he kept insisting I was way too young to remember the Pixies. He also spent most of the concert trying to paw my ass, hoping I wouldn't notice. At one point he asked me if I'd ever had a margarita and offered to buy me one, like it was a really huge deal.

    So finally the concert ended, and we went to a nearby pub. We ran into a friend of his there, and the two of them were all but high-fiving each other over me. His friend kept calling my date "cradle-robber" and giving him lewd nudges. When I'd had enough, I said I was ready to leave.

    We got back to my apartment, where I discovered he had brought an overnight bag. Oh yes, an OVERNIGHT BAG on a blind date. Toothbrush and all. I went to the bathroom and came out to find him in his undershirt and whitey-tighties, ready for bed. I told him I wasn't looking for an overnight guest; he whined that he lived all the way out in Topanga and he'd been drinking, so I consented to let him stay but told him there would be absolutely no sex. Next thing I know, he's climbing into my bed, and he got very confused and offended when I banished him to the couch.

    In the morning, he wanted to go out for breakfast. I could NOT get rid of this guy. I made up an obviously fake story about all the things I had to do that day, but he simply refused to leave until I went out for breakfast. So I let him buy me breakfast, and then refused to let him back in the house. He made such a production about the goodbye kiss that I finally kissed him just to shut him up, and he was AWFUL.

    He then proceeded to call me several times a day and leave little gifts on my door for the next several weeks until I had a deep-voiced male friend answer my phone and tell him to piss off. *shudder* I was beginning to despair of ever being shot of that guy...

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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    Jesus, Yekhefah--what a thing. You wonder if people are sometimes living so much in their heads that they can't manage to have empathy for others? The guy sounds like he was so involved in his own agenda that he wasn't in the room with you, except when he could show you off to others--

    One thing that strikes me now is that women's stories in this regard are always much worse than those of men--doesn't speak too well of our gender. But I always want to tell women that there are some good men out there, and to not get too bitter about the whole bunch of us.
    JK Jim

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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    Quote Originally Posted by jhuka View Post
    I'm curious about "worst date ever" stories--there is a long line of mushroom clouds following my dating life, so I can start. With a summer night, a blind date (one of only two in my life) in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I'd heard the woman was breathtaking, so I went all out, bought new clothes at Marshall's (I don't know if you readers in Australia have them, but they are a slight step up from K-Mart...I'm a classy guy). The woman was, indeed, far more beautiful than I am handsome, but we hit it off well: then she grew quiet as we walked about a crowded city square. On the way home, on the subway, I tried to figure out what I'd done wrong, then realized I'd left a long tape down the side of my pants repeating, W36L32W36L32...
    lol...that's a great story.

    My worst date was my fault...met a girl about ten years older than I was when I was about 24...very hot...slightly out of my league but I pulled her number at a bar with some intelligent game.

    The intelligence ended, and so did my chances with her, when I decided that it would be a good idea to take her to see Alien 3.

    Yep. That romantic date movie featuring a near prison rape of Sigourney Weaver and multiple gruseome deaths at the jaws of bloodthirsty aliens.

    Ah, to be young and clueless again...

  13. #13
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Right after my divorce, I was new in Hollywood and had just moved into my own apartment. I was all set and ready to enter The Dating Scene. While doing some returns for a movie I'd just worked on, I met an okay-looking guy who said he had tickets to the Pixies at the Greek Theater and asked me to go. I accepted, gave him my number, and made the date. I only talked to him on the phone once or twice beforehand, and never for long as I don't like talking on the phone.

    So for all intents and purposes, this is a blind date. He arrives on a purple-and-yellow moped. Yes, I said moped. I decided I would drive us instead. We went to a nice Indian restaurant, where I had to order the wine because he couldn't read the wine list by candlelight, as his bifocals weren't that good. It turned out he was older than my mother, he had assumed I was about 18 (I was 25), and he spent most of the dinner exclaiming over how young I was and trying to offer fatherly advice. We finally went to the concert, where he kept insisting I was way too young to remember the Pixies. He also spent most of the concert trying to paw my ass, hoping I wouldn't notice. At one point he asked me if I'd ever had a margarita and offered to buy me one, like it was a really huge deal.

    So finally the concert ended, and we went to a nearby pub. We ran into a friend of his there, and the two of them were all but high-fiving each other over me. His friend kept calling my date "cradle-robber" and giving him lewd nudges. When I'd had enough, I said I was ready to leave.

    We got back to my apartment, where I discovered he had brought an overnight bag. Oh yes, an OVERNIGHT BAG on a blind date. Toothbrush and all. I went to the bathroom and came out to find him in his undershirt and whitey-tighties, ready for bed. I told him I wasn't looking for an overnight guest; he whined that he lived all the way out in Topanga and he'd been drinking, so I consented to let him stay but told him there would be absolutely no sex. Next thing I know, he's climbing into my bed, and he got very confused and offended when I banished him to the couch.

    In the morning, he wanted to go out for breakfast. I could NOT get rid of this guy. I made up an obviously fake story about all the things I had to do that day, but he simply refused to leave until I went out for breakfast. So I let him buy me breakfast, and then refused to let him back in the house. He made such a production about the goodbye kiss that I finally kissed him just to shut him up, and he was AWFUL.

    He then proceeded to call me several times a day and leave little gifts on my door for the next several weeks until I had a deep-voiced male friend answer my phone and tell him to piss off. *shudder* I was beginning to despair of ever being shot of that guy...
    Yikes!!!!!.... It sounds like he deserved a worse drubbing than what you gave him for being so clueless. But I've also been in the position of playing it cool with a dork because it was easiest for all involved....

    "too young to remember the Pixies"? What a pretentious dickwad.

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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    You know, the story above about a date taking a dump in a girl's apartment on the first date....surprisingly, that's not the first time I've heard of such a thing.

    Who are these undateable people, and how do they eventually find someone?

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    No question, it has to be the night I lost my virginity in the flooded rice field in South Texas. However, I did learn the many wonderful things one can do with a snorkel.
    My latest conspiracy theory: I am convinced that Dick Cheney is, in reality, Elmer Fudd.

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    I knew I had one, and finally remembered it...

    Back in college, there was this cute skate rat boy that used to pseudo-stalk me in a manner that was equal parts creepy and charming. He was sort of a friend of a friend, and the night I met him, he walked up to me at a party, looked me up and down, and said, "Ohhh yeah. Winona Ryder all the way." Then he started doing things like walking past me and my friends while we were hanging out at the coffee shop and throwing me a rolled-up presentation of my weekly horoscope before walking away nonchalantly like nothing had happened. He'd call my work and tell me to go outside and there would be a flower on the step. Stuff like that.

    Anyway, I thought he was weird, but being maybe 20 years old, I was also intrigued. I thought, at the time, that if a boy was obsessed with you, that meant he really really liked you. So when he asked me if I wanted to go out with him one night, I figured what the hell.

    I put on this cute little dress and a pair of boots and was all ready to go when he picked me up in his new car, which turned out to be this gorgeous old Benz. "We're getting hot dogs in Jersey," he announced. I thought that sounded like fun, at least until we got out on the highway. He started driving like ninety miles an hour and taking the turns really close, to the point where I became somewhat frightened. The situation only got worse when he yelled, "I'm BATMAN!"

    "You're who?"

    "I'm Batman! And you're Vicki Vale, Gonzo Girl Reporter!!!"

    Oh, sweet Jesus. We made it to Jersey in one piece, amazingly enough, but when we stopped at the 7-11, he told me that I had to pay for the hot dogs because he was broke. I did this. We sat out back at a picnic table and ate them, and I was trying to get over almost pissing myself a few minutes back during our joyride from hell. Then I noticed that he had a Batman tattoo on his arm. "When you said that you were Batman..." I began, and he interrupted, "I AM Batman!"

    I stopped talking and spent the rest of the evening reciting Hail Marys. The trip back to Phila was as harrowing as the first trip, with the added bonus that he also made me pay the toll to get back in. When we got back to my house, he said, "I just want to kiss."

    I just looked at him.

    "Cold dissed," he said, shaking his head, and walked away.

    I thought I'd heard the last of him, but a week or so later he stopped by my house, rang my doorbell, and handed me this strange, bulbously-shaped package. "[red red red] Forever!!!" it said, alongside, "Engagement present!!!" and "sleepless midite punk romance!!!" When I opened it, it was full of things like... a pair of his old socks, a red light bulb, an extension cord, a copy of the teleplay for Ferris Bueller's Day Off, a big brass paper clip, an old skate catalog, and other assorted odds and ends.

    I later found out that he was having a psychotic episode brought on by having been on mushrooms for a week straight.

    Nothing's trumped this one yet...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  17. #17
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    ^^^^^ whoah whoah whoah........getting hot dogs in Jersey at............7-11? Kripes!!! He's psychotic but more creative than that!

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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    ^^^ Yeah, I think he was just trying to floss in his hot car, despite having zero dollars.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    I picked him up coz he had lost his license temporarily. When he got in my car he had a traveller (in case its an aussie term, that is a can/bottle of alcohol that one takes with them in the car), we drove to a restaurant but on the way we had to st0p at a b0ttle sh0p s0 that he c0uld purchase a few m0re travellers.

    Then we park in this car park 0utside the restaurant and he lights up a j0int as we walk thru the car park.

    Then we get inside the restaurant and he d0esnt 0rder any f00d (pr0b c0z he is full 0f alc0h0l) s0 i sat and ate by myself.

    Then 0n the way h0me we st0pped f0r m0re alc0h0l.

    I dr0pped him 0ff and as he g0t 0ut the car he asked if he was g0ing t0 get a kiss, i laughed, shut his d00r and sped 0ff.

    If I c0uld turn back time i w0uld have sped 0ff earlier in the night when he was inside the b0ttle sh0p.

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    Senior Member shirtystrumpet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    When I was in middle school, a date stopped mid-kiss, paused, bit my nose, and then resumed the kiss.
    He bit it hard, too-- I had to walk around for a week with a bite mark on my nose.
    Apparently his friend told him this was the thing to do.


  21. #21
    Alaska
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    b0ttle sh0p
    Yep never heard of a traveller (Yea officer...this is just my traveller HA) but I love Bottle Shop!!!!! Haha. Hmmmm Jaizaine you must have a rough right-hand ring finger, missing yr O like that!

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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    In Australia they're called Bottle Shop's or Bottle-O's.


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    LoL I love cultural diff's in slang-words. Yeh Bottle-O heaps of people say that.

    yeh im trading between pressing the "O" which is hard with acrylics and using the "0" as "o".

    *sigh* cant wait to get new keyboard.

    what do u call a bottle shp in the US?

  24. #24
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    Well, for one, most of America doesn't really have bottle-os. You can buy liquor at gas stations there. Or the market. Although there's a place called BevMo (Beverages and More) that's becoming popular.


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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst Date Ever?

    alcohol at petrol stations oh.

    hey while on the t0pic (kind 0f) why d0 u call them gas stati0ns when u r buying petr0l usually (well unless u r running y0ur car 0n gas)?

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