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Thread: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    **I've decided to re-edit, for more clairty**


    I would love to buy my mom an a/c because her apartment gets super hot in there. Since I am a college student, and my mom doestn' know I dance, I'm nervous to just up and buy her an a/c without her questioning how I could afford such a thing.

    Everytime I call my mom she's like, "oh I'm not doing anything..I have the porch door open, the fan running, and the windows open, just trying to catch a breeze" Aww bless her heart. Anyway, I think I'm going to buy my mom an a/c for the apartment.

    So, should I buy her the A/C and THEN tell her I dance, or vice versa?? I guess you could say I have been wanting to tell her I dance for the longest. And since she lives so far away from me, buying the a/c adn telling her all in the same day would kill 2 birds with one stone. Telling her I dance is not something I would want to tell her over the phone.

    Edit again: I wish I could re-edit the title and take out the word "bribe"
    Last edited by cinammonkisses; 06-26-2007 at 04:49 PM.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  2. #2
    buffie06
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    Some people are better off not knowing. If she cried b/c u wanted to work at hooters, be prepared. She might not want the A/C if she thinks thats how you earned the money. If you are gonna tell her, tell her don't bribe her.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    Buffie, I'm not really going to bribe her. I've been wanting to buy the A/C for her for a while..but I do see what you're saying







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    buffie06
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    Yeah, my point was the A/C shouldn't be part of the equation, that's a seperate issue I would think.

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    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    I 100% agree with Buffie. I think if you want to get her an a/c do it, but dont do it and then tell her you dance, and dont tell her you dance and then whip out the a/c as a bandaid for her pain. I think some people just dont need to know. Much as I love my mom and want to tell her what I want to do I know it would hurt her so much and I'd rather she think I'm making my money in the bar (reg bar), which I've been working at for almost a year and she's been there so she would jusyt beliebe me. I hate to lie, but it's what is best for me, her, and our relationship.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post
    I 100% agree with Buffie. I think if you want to get her an a/c do it, but dont do it and then tell her you dance, and dont tell her you dance and then whip out the a/c as a bandaid for her pain.
    I think I should re-write my entire post. If I get her the a/c she's going to want to know how I was able to afford it. I'm tired of lying to her.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    CK, I totally understand what you are saying. you want to do this nice thing for her, because she needs it and you can afford it, but if you do it, it will be obvious that you are making some serious money and will raise a red flag....so what to do? Buy it or let her be hot?

    What does your gut tell you? You know her best. I've been wanting to tell my mom for so long now....I was going to somehow point out to her "I make great money, I have wonderful hours, I stay healthy and active, it's the perfect job for me right now...by the way it's stripping" There's no easy way to do it.

    "Mom, if I could find a job that would keep me in shape physically, encourage me to be healthy and fit, where I could make a great living and support myself all on my own without any help and could design my own schedule, wouldn't that be great?!?!"

    Eh, it's tough CK, but go with your gut...and if you want to help your mom, regardless of what her reaction to your dancing is, then help her. One thing I firmly believe in, is if you do something nice, do it because you want to, without fear or expectations. So if you do it, know you will have to answer questions and be prepared for the outcome.
    God luck hun.




  8. #8
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    id just pretend id won the air con in a competition for her- therefor it didnt cost you anything, and she wont have to be upset over 'how you got it'

    she may also refuse the air con if she objects to your stripping so much.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    Quote Originally Posted by mermaidnz View Post
    id just pretend id won the air con in a competition for her- therefor it didnt cost you anything, and she wont have to be upset over 'how you got it'

    she may also refuse the air con if she objects to your stripping so much.
    I would do something like that, but I was considering buying it from walmart (I know I know) and having it shipped to her house. The day it's to arrive, I'd be arriving there too.

    You think I could get by saying it was from a contest, eventhough it was delivered from Walmart

    Hmmm nah, if I go that route, then I'd just be digging another lie, and I want to get out of those...







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    mermaidnz thats what I was thinking too. I understand that you don't want to lie to her, but maybe bend the truth a little? Could you tell her you started waiting tables in a strip club? get her used to the idea of your being in a sc... but in her mind you are in an envoronment she doesnt like, but you aren't really doing the thing she doesn't like. just an idea, but I wouldnt tell her you are stripping right away if she is so opposed to you working at hooters as a joke... that is if you are dead set on telling her.

    edit: tell her you entered her name in some drawing at walmart the last time you were there.
    Last edited by Roulette; 06-26-2007 at 05:36 PM. Reason: add
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    i would just go ahead and tell her. i remember how scared i was when i told my family but when i did it felt like a great big weight was lifted off of my chest. some of my family was disgusted, but i was really surprised how supportive the majority was.

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    Member accball's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    yeah, tell her you won a Sears gift card or something.

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    Newbie m_v_v's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    It would be a great weight off your shoulders and a great weight onto your mom's shoulders. In my experience it's proven best to shelter parents from things that are unnecessary for them to know.

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    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    ^^ that made me think of something someone once told me, I don't remember verbatum but it was basically "is it better to make yourself feel better by telling your secret or is it more important to make them feel bad because you want to get something off your chest?"
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    I actualy think buying her an a/c and telling her is a great idea!

    It might take some of the heat off the revealtion. u tell her u r dancing but it also shows that u r doing productive things with ur money not spending it on drugs, alcohol and whatever else the stripper stereotypes say we need our money 4.

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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    I don't know, CK...this is a very sticky situation. Is the A/C THAT expensive??? You could always just tell her you were saving up for it...it's kind of the truth if it is really that expensive.

    I agree with ExoticEngineer. You're gonna have to go with your gut on this one and be prepared for any consequences if you do decide to tell her.

    I don't tell my parents what I do because I am a grown-ass woman, and I am going to do what I want to do and live my life the way I want to. I have to take care of MYSELF, and do what's best for ME. There are some things that I just choose not to tell my parents. Dancing is one of them. I think they know deep down...they have hinted at it with me a couple of times and have made comments to see if I would give away any details, but I never did. I am an adult...I will be treated like and adult.

    You're gonna have to seriously think this one through before you decide to take the plunge. Best of luck!!! Keep us updated as well!!!



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    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    What does she THINK you do? I would not say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, but saying you saved up the money is not a lie. I've learned that every time I do something I think is wrong, I end up regretting it. I think the decision you need to make is this: will it make you feel worse to tell your mom that you dance, or will it make you feel worse to lie to her. Only you can make that decision.

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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    ^I know you are trying to give advice, but you shouldn't be. You are not a dancer and you shouldn't be posting in this section anyway.



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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    Be honest with her!! You would be suprised just how accepting she is! But i would send the ac unit as a surprise then be honest with her!!

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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    This is a really tough one. It is wonderful to be able to be open with the people you love, but it seems like telling her could only hurt her. It's not going to make her feel good at all. I think lying is the better option, or skirting around the issue. Could you tell her you sold some books back and got more than you expected? I like the raffle idea too, maybe you were just shopping at wal mart, entered a raffle, won a gift card and used the money for the a/c.

    My mom thinks I bartend although she knows I danced for a short time. I know it really upset her to know I was dancing, so I don't talk about work at all and I tell all my family that I bartend, except my little sister. It's just easier that way. I love my mom and I wish she could accept it, but that's not how she was raised. I don't want her worrying about me because I love her.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahMike View Post
    What does she THINK you do?
    Well, before I started dancing I worked a full-time job. I worked there for like 2 years. Since it was 3rd shift, I never had to worry about family popping up and visiting me. I kept the "full-time job" for another whole year, before I coudlnt lie about that anymore.

    I saved a nice portion of that money, (which is true) and my mom knows I have a 401K (since she has no idea about retirement money, I tell her I live off some of that )

    Now that I'm back in school full-time, I have a loan for school. Whenever I get bored, I get temp jobs to keep me sane. Right now, I'm not going to summer school, so my mom is under the impression I am workign a temp job.

    Whenever she calls and asks when I'm coming up to see her, I have to tell her I'm on a new assignment, and that when it's over I'll come to see her







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    whats a 401K?

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    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    something I wish I had.... but it's a type of retirement plan.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    How do you think she might react? Like blow up "my daughter is a 'whore'!" or the initial upset followed by her being happy you're still in school.
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    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
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    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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  25. #25
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've decided to Bribe my Mom AND tell her I Dance..

    I think it is great that you want to come clean with your mum. Personally, I will say that the fact that I have lied to my parents every day for years makes me much more ashamed than dancing does. I'm not, and will hopefully never come clean, but I understand the impetus. Before you do though - get out of here a bit. Talk to other people who aren't close to the industry and don't "normalize" it. Get a sense of reaction, and then think about it again. To you now it seems normal and fine and understandable - to your mum, it might not seem that way.

    If you wanted a nice simple lie, I would recommend something like "My friend Marty got this air conditioner on sale, but it didn't fit his window; he couldn't return it so he passed it on to me really cheap". Easy and it will never come up again. And you could always just buy and bring her the air conditioner, rather than sending it.
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