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Thread: How To Reject Nicely

  1. #1
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default How To Reject Nicely

    I have a problem...alot of the younger guys I give dances to (and even some who just see me on stage and I sit with for a minute) just want to go out with me...and just won't fucking give up. I try not to tell customers I have a bf because I think seeming somewhat "available" goes with the fantasy. But at times I've had to say, yeah I have a man....and they still don't give up. I don't want to be a jerk and I'd like to continues to take their money as long as I can. How do you girls that have been dancing for a while handle guys that "just want to take you somewhere nice and classy" or go to the beach or blah blah blah without losing them as a customer? I know sometimes you will lose them but I'd like to keep as many as possible. And often these guys are actually very polite so I'd like to not be a bitch.
    I actually always had trouble rejecting guys even when I wasn't dancing...I'd be the one to go out on one date with a guy and then never ever return a phone call because I had such a problem just saying no.
    So help me please? And thankyou


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    If they can't take no for an answer, thank them for their time, then off you go. I refuse to waste my energy in repeating myself to a guy over and over. Young guys aren't worth all that energy..they are good for a few dances, IF THAT!







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Senior Member LaylaJo's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    I have always had the same problem, I have a really hard time saying no unless the person is a total asshole. This has become really stressful for me as a dancer, because many of the guys who ask me to go out with them are the guys I actually enjoy hanging out with at the club, they actually seem like nice people. And no one cares about my bf Ive been with for 5 years and plan on marrying

    I just drag it on forever, its stressful because I feel bad, but how else will I make money? I make money off of the people who keep coming back, and these people usually want more after theyve seen me for awhile. But if it really bothers you and theyre just not listening, give it up and talk to someone else. Just make sure you lay down the rules clearly for these guys or they will get the idea that they can change your mind.

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    Veteran Member Heaven777's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    I have the same issue...

    "So, are you seeing anyone?"

    That question always kills me...
    If everything you try is a sure thing, you aren't taking enough risks. If you never fail, you put a limit on the degree to which you can succeed. In short, the only way to win big is to risk losing

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    Enh. I just always say yes and that my boyfriend thinks it's hot that I get naked on all of these guys constantly for money. In reality I have no boyfriend but really, that question is not going to make/break a long private dance session. 90% of them appreciate my 'honesty', especially the older men that actually do have money and probably a wife at home. It only matters for the younger guys that'll buy what, one dance max? I can either close that kind of sale in 1-2 songs or get out of that situation and on to better prospects.

    I mean, if you say you don't have a boyfriend (which I did for a while), they'll think a) she's lying, she's way too hot to not have a man! and b) maybe I can get in on her booty

  6. #6
    Veteran Member $$$magnet's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    I'll usually say that I have a boyfriend or that I'm just to busy with school and work to be with somebody.
    If they get really persistent, I just say that I have four or five children (I don't really have any), and after work I have to go home and change some diapers.
    i used to dream militant dreams / of taking over america / to show these white folks how it should be done
    i used to dream radical dreams / of blowing everyone away / with my perceptive powers of correct analysis
    i even used to think / id be the one to stop the riot and negotiate the peace / then i awoke and dug
    that if i dreamed natural dreams / of being a natural woman
    doing what a woman does / when shes natural
    i would have a revolution

    --nikki giovanni

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    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    ^^^yeah, i always say i have a bf too, even when i didn't. it's caused me to lose a $10 table dance here or there, but it's never scared off the guys who were going to spend good money on me already.

  9. #8
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    Quote Originally Posted by Heaven777 View Post
    I have the same issue...

    "So, are you seeing anyone?"

    That question always kills me...
    best reply evah:
    "no one can tame me!"

    i usually add, "not at the moment," beforehand.
    and that will always lead to them asking me to go out with them, to which i will always reply, "i barely know you! and these days you cant be too careful. but i'd like to get to know you, let's go sit and chat in vip or something, plus i think you're quite hot/handsome and i am really liking dancing for you. so let's keep it in the club for now, and see if we play well together *giggle*."

    Love it!

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    Featured Member lolagetz's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    ^^^ I say something similar: "Nah, I'm what you call.. um... a free spirit.." [insert mischievious giggle] It gives them a little hope because it implies that I'm not in a relationship, but keeps them from pestering me to go out with them because it lets them know that I don't ever have serious relationships. And it goes well with my granola-eating tree-hugging burning-man hippie-chick persona.

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    Senior Member minemind's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    you want to take me out?

    ohhh my girlfriend wouldn't be happy about that!

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    Do you have a boyfriend?

    One in every town!



  14. #12
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    If they arent spending money maybe tell them yes u occasionaly let a generous gentlemen take you out for dinner and see if they start spending...and dont actually go on the date if u dont want to. Otherwise just let the young guy know youre paid to dance for guys not to see how many guys you can actually get a date with while u smile and touch his shoulder. He should get the hint and that u would love to spend time with him in the club, but you " dont like to date men u meet in the club" maybe?

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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    I'm with CK on this one. You have to learn to just walk away, because they'll totally waste your time. If it's just a clueless guy who won't give up I'll usually just give him a little arm squeeze and say 'thanks, you're sweet' and move on. If they think you're a bitch, well, that's them! It's better than wasting your night.

    Rose Leigh

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    I think Chrissy has the best answer. That way the guy will spend more in the hope that you will get to know him better.

    Dont worry when u get all the money u will get out of him u can just excuse yourself and get money off someone else.

    Dont worry about hurting their feelings, I think getting led on and rejected by a stripper is kind of a modern day right of passage for some guys.

  17. #15
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    I think Chrissy has the best answer. That way the guy will spend more in the hope that you will get to know him better.
    True, these are young guys that TaylorLila is talking about though. Even if it's an older guy, I won't waste my time on someone who's only bought 1 or two dances. Now, if they've bought a CR or VIP then that's different. I can smile and be giggly and flirt, and hope for more $$ out of him, or at least a card telling me he'll come back soon to see me.

    But the guys who are trying to be my white knight, or trying to OTC me, or give me their number to "chill and get to know eachother outside of here" then nah, they aren't worth the energy.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    He: Do you have a boyfriend?
    Me: Nah, they're too much hassle.

    Sometimes they'll ask if I want a fuckbuddy, etc after this, and I just laugh at them and ignore the question. If they insist on an answer, I tell them they already know the answer as I laugh again.

    Mostly, I just laugh at them. It keeps me from getting apeshit pissed off over having to answer the same dumbass question 20 times a night, and makes my point.

    Most guys ask me this as I'm dancing for them, or while they're paying for the dance. Otherwise I don't waste my time on guys who ask crap like this before agreeing to a dance.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    If it's a guy I have maybe danced for one or two songs for and he asks me out I have said things like "ooooh, do you have a big black van with darkened windows? Will you offer me candy to get into it?!" I say it silly and smile, but still, sometimes it makes them think 'yah, that was kind of creepy'.

    Other times I'll just say, "oh sweety, nice of you to ask, but really, I don't know you. You keep coming in and buying dances like you are, and we'll get to know eachother."

    But if it is a good spening customer, one I know will stick around for a while, I try to be a little more....evasive? Usually they don't ask though, they're usually the ones who are happy to spend money at the club and be entertained. I Wuv Those Guys!




  20. #18
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses View Post
    True, these are young guys that TaylorLila is talking about though. Even if it's an older guy, I won't waste my time on someone who's only bought 1 or two dances. Now, if they've bought a CR or VIP then that's different. I can smile and be giggly and flirt, and hope for more $$ out of him, or at least a card telling me he'll come back soon to see me.

    But the guys who are trying to be my white knight, or trying to OTC me, or give me their number to "chill and get to know eachother outside of here" then nah, they aren't worth the energy.
    oh shit yeah babe I meant when they are paying not just sitting talking shit.
    with u on that.

  21. #19
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post

    Sometimes they'll ask if I want a fuckbuddy, etc after this, and I just laugh at them and ignore the question. If they insist on an answer, I tell them they already know the answer as I laugh again.
    im gonna try this tonight if the opportunity presents itself.

  22. #20
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    A lot of times I just laugh and say, "Oh, you're so sweet." If they persist, I say, no, I just don't date guys I meet here. It's too complicated.

    If it's a big spender I'll tell him I'll think about it, I'm really busy but I'll make time eventually, until his money runs out.

    If I know there's no chance I'm making any more money off of the guy, like the first song isn't even over and he's asking me out, I say, "No, I have a boyfriend and I don't want another one." Done!

    My friend gave me a good line the other night. She said, when guys ask to get her phone number, she says, "I'll take your number, but I only take numbers from guys who have business cards." If they don't have a card, they're probably not worth the time anyway

  23. #21
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    Quote Originally Posted by carolina6 View Post

    My friend gave me a good line the other night. She said, when guys ask to get her phone number, she says, "I'll take your number, but I only take numbers from guys who have business cards." If they don't have a card, they're probably not worth the time anyway
    Good line..I tell guys that my number is strictly for customers who want to spend time with me ITC. If that is not their intention then there is really no point in me giving them my number. So far, I've had some honest guys







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    I always get asked out by the creeps who don't buy dances or tip. I tell them my husband is a cop. They never bother me again! muahahaha

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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    start being retarded and avoid the question! Tell them you work every night. tell the young ones that they cant afford you because you lovvvvvvve spending money. then start talking about how you have a girlfriend! just keep them dancing!

  26. #24
    Veteran Member vidadiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    I like your answer a lot CK...sometimes I get so tired and annoyed from beating around the bush and diverting convos with custys on this issue. Your answer is so straight to the point of us working at the club.

  27. #25
    Veteran Member icey's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Reject Nicely

    I always tell them I have a girlfriend and that we don't share. Shuts the guys up about asking me out again and they will usally buy even more dances from me, because they think its hot. LOL

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