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Thread: boyfriend problems

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    Default boyfriend problems

    first the background: i moved out to vegas 5 months ago to be with my boyfriend, he has issues with his dad therefore we can't live together right now and we see each maybe 2-3 times a month.

    here's my problem, last tuesday (6-19) he called me and asked if i wanted to go out see a movie get dinner since we never see each other. he talked to his friend and his friend said that his roommates going out of town this weekend (i guess starting the following thurs). his friend offered to watch his son so me and him could go out next thurs (tomorrow) well that was last week and he hasn't called me since, i tried calling him monday and got his voicemail, left a message and he never called back. i tried calling him right now and his phone is off. yet we're supposed to go out tomorrow. what gives? unless he's planning something big and i mean it better be big for him not to call me for a week. i talked to a guy friend and he said it sounds suspcious(sp?)

    him not calling a lot has only been going on for about 6 weeks, when i first moved he called me nearly everyday. what's going on? the next time i see him i'm gonna ask why he's never calling but is there anything else i should be asking?

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    First off, if his dad is preventing him from doing something in his own adult life your "boyfriend" needs to grow some balls.

    However, I suppose its a good thing you aren't living with him. This totally sounds suspicious. Do you think hes just blowing you off? Or perhaps letting you down easy (which is really pussy of him)? Its really lame of him to do that though especially if you moved just to be with him. 2-3 times a month doesn't sound like a boyfriend though, especially when he doesn't return calls like that--more like a glorified bootycall.

    On the other hand, perhaps he just needs some space. But in either situation he should be able to communicate like an adult, especially since hes called you almost ever day.

    DTMFA (hehe, stole that from dan savage)

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    his dad threatened to take his son away from him. my bf went through a divorce 2 years ago and was awarded full custody of his son. i don't know his dad very well and thought it was an empty threat, but my bf said his dad is really good about following through. part of me wants to believe him, but there's that little nagging voice that saying otherwise. the only thing i want explained is why he hasn't called. is it cuz he's letting me down easy? i usually work thursdays, i said i'd take tomorrow off but i'm so ready to just go in. and if he asks why i'll be like since you haven't called me all week i assumed that it was cancelled.

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    Uh, I'd like to see how he can take his son away from him without probable cause. Being one to 'follow through' or not doesn't mean he has a reason.

    And the nagging voice? Is. Always. Right.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    his dad's rich with political connections, it could happen. (i know that much about him) as for that nagging voice, in january he told me he deleted his myspace but i did a search on there and found his profile with new pics. i'm so ready to end this.

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    Is his dad trying to take away his son if you move in? Or some other reason? Did he ask you to move near him? Are you sure he's not still married? This just sounds suspicious. If he's not a surgeon or a traveling business guy, 2-3 times a month is not really a relationship.

    Rose Leigh

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    Is his dad trying to take away his son if you move in? Or some other reason? Did he ask you to move near him? Are you sure he's not still married? This just sounds suspicious. If he's not a surgeon or a traveling business guy, 2-3 times a month is not really a relationship.

    Rose Leigh

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    he lives with his parents and his dad threatened to take away his son if he moved out. i'm positive he's not still married, i've seen the divorce papers. the more i think about it, the more i just want to end it. 2-3 times a months isn't a lot but he used to call almost every day. just within the last 6 weeks he stopped. i really don't know about tomorrow. he hasn't called, i'm assuming we're not going to do anything, i'm just gonna go to work and deal with him another day, i don't have the energy for it.

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    Well I know all about controlling parents, but I don't see how a parent can take away a grown child's child just for moving out, unless your bf's doing something shady you don't know about. At least he IS divorced! I'm sorry you have to deal with stuff. Maybe he feels bad you moved there for him and is doing the letting you down easy thing. Argh. Men. Good luck hon. Work should help take your mind off.

    Rose Leigh

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    i start at 4pm tomorrow, if he doesn't call before then, fuck him. he's nice, one of my friends said he's probably planning something and doesn't want to tell me so he's not calling, i don't know. there was one time last fall he had applied for a great job and told me about and ended up not getting it. he's got this thing if he tells people about something before it happens it won't turn out the way he wants. so that could be it, whatever i'm done analyzing, i can't sleep cuz this whole thing, i've got a friend coming in tomorrow anyway. plus school and work, it'll keep my mind off him.

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    He's not being much of a bf. Sounds like you are making excuses for him. If he used to call everyday and now doesn't, something is up.

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    we're supposed to go out tonight, if he calls and it happens, it's over, i've thought about it and i can't put myself through this anymore. i'm done being understanding and he can tell me everything in the book, bottom line, he's been ignoring me not returning my calls (well ok this only happened once but still). tonight if i see him i'm ending it.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    You should end it no matter if you see him or not. His father has got some serious control issues. I'm wondering if it's even legal to force your grown son to live with
    you or else you'll take his son away. It sounds like BLACKMAIL. THAT is fucked up.

    Do you really want to deal with someone in this much drama, let alone not calling at all and you only see him 2-3 times a month?! DO you really want to deal with someone who's father dictates how everything will go?

    Just leave. This whole family seems like people not worth getting involved with. On second thought, run!

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    Quote Originally Posted by alisha101 View Post
    ...as for that nagging voice, in january he told me he deleted his myspace but i did a search on there and found his profile with new pics. i'm so ready to end this.
    lie. *ding-ding*

    that should've been the end right there imo.

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    You've got it right. Don't go see him tonight, either. It will just fuck with your head. If he calls, tell him 'no thanks, I made other plans since you didn't call,' and then walk. If it's a legitimate situation on his part, he'll fall all over himself trying to prove to you he's genuine.

    My spidey sense is tingling and it's saying, "Asshole."

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    it's over i'm single. kinda sad, but it's for the best. i'm working and i've got school. i feel so much better. yay!

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    Default Re: boyfriend problems

    This is better for you, Alisha--there were some hidden stories here you didn't know about, and I don't think they were good ones. You're better off flying free of this.
    JK Jim

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