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Thread: dancing for a male friend

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default dancing for a male friend

    I did some search on the subject,but it didn't turn out too many results.So I'll ask again since I REALLY need advice..
    Anyways,I have a question for the ladies....How do you feel giving a lapdance with a good amount of one way contact to a very close long time platonic male friend?

    Imagine this.....without going into too many details...You've know this person for about 9 years and he's been a great customer who turned into a close friend,but nothing ever more.You have been entertaining him at a club you've been for many years,where lapdancing is not allowed,with once an hour nude stage show and conversation.Occasional dinners and theatre.Personal boundaries never crossed.Then later you are across country in a club that has medium one-way contact and he suddenly insists in a very pushy way to fly across country "to visit you as a friend and go sightseeing",and is very persistent about visiting your club.You fell like he just wants to finally have a chance of you rubbing over him and living out his possible fantasy he's had for many years,not really to go sightseeing.You even mention that you feel very uncomfortable with this,but he keeps pushing and saying weird shit like:"We're both consenting adults".And just the thought of his eager anticipation makes you sick.You are fine giving anybody that dance,but just not close people like that.A thought of him asking in the past:"I'm not a customer am I?You take me as a friend,right?" also comes to mind.
    What to do?You don't want to lose a long time friend but can't bring yourself to cross the line out of feeling too awkward.Is it weird to feel that way?Is there some way to get out of this and not feel bad?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: dancing for a male friend

    You can very firmly state that you're just not comfortable with it, and that you're not going to discuss the subject any further. Ignore any other comments about it; a gentleman would not want to push you any further. Just don't address the subject any further; you are done with it and not obligated to make excuses or justify your feelings.

    I think this would make many of us uncomfortable; once someone becomes a friend (and they're not a potential dating partner), contact dancing for them is bound to make you feel awkward.

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    Veteran Member Scotty Pogo's Avatar
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    Default Re: dancing for a male friend

    A lot of the girls I know won't do couch dances for anyone they consider a friend. If this guy is persistant in coming to see you, I'd think I'd be a little more suspicious about motive. Me personally, I have a rule that if I have a friendship or relationship with a dancer, I don't even tip her unless it's a very very slow night, and even then I try to get it over with as quick as possible. Once I cross that boundry into "customer," it's hard to come back.
    Why So Serious?

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    Default Re: dancing for a male friend

    I'm with those who would never ever perform (or even go on stage nude) in front of friends no matter how long I have known the person. The only exception to this is when the boundry has been established and is respected by the person.

    For instance, one friend of mine won't look at me when I'm on stage. He will purposely not look at the stage and turn his head away or position himself so he doesn't look at the stage out of respect ESPECIALLY if I'm topless or naked.

    He will only feel comfortable watching when I am still fully clothed and only watches after asking my permission (which he knows he always has) to do so.

    Otherwise, no go. I don't care how insistant the person is.. I will NEVER lap dance for a friend. Being tipped by friends is one thing. LAP DANCING for a friend is a huge no no and the end of the friendship in my book.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Default Re: dancing for a male friend

    I think your instincts are already telling you what is right. From the point of view of a male, my sense is that he wants to go a long way for the contact, so I think he is definately wishing for something more--I'm actually certain of it. Stick with your instincts and be firm: if he wants something more than friendship he should say so, and not make you uncomfortable (I'm not sure how you feel about something more, but to me it does not sound that you want this from him). Good luck with this.
    JK Jim

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    Default Re: dancing for a male friend

    Sorry, Rusdancer, if I stepped over a line, here--I realize as I read this over that you were just asking the ladies...I hope my thoughts will help in some way anyway!
    JK Jim

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: dancing for a male friend

    Trust your instincts. I have friends who I would dance for and friends I wouldn't dance for. It's up to you to make that call. Do you what you feel is right.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: dancing for a male friend

    Yep,you're right,guys.It's a tough call.Not an easy issue to deal with.
    Jhuka,I do appreciate your advice!

  9. #9
    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: dancing for a male friend

    Update....
    Told him upfront about not being comfortable dancing for friends and he was fine with it,no problem.Friendship saved!!

    Sometimes you just have to explain to a person how you feel directly,try to put them in your shoes and if they are a true friend,they will understand,no questions asked!

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