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Thread: The most random customer commentary..

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default The most random customer commentary..

    I had a customer last week say to me, "Gee your armpits smell better than the last girl I was with."

    And I remembered I had so many of these random moments in my life. Then I wanted to know more, cause it can't just be me.

    You?


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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    I said I hadn't seen a penis in a long time so the DJ jerked off in the toilet.

    (random in a different way, sorry)



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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    haha. one time i was spreading my legs to this customer on stage, n he blurted out, "uh, do you need any furniature? i own a furniature store and i could get you a discount!"

    I closed my legs in disbeielf.

    Also a few other random stuff guys say to me as i get naked /spread my legs for them, "you should really be a pilot! the pilot business is booming!"

    "so you know any good jokes?"

    "yep, you've got the chinese pussy!" (about 5 mins earlier, i told him i was half chinese) haha.

    I guess they just get so nervous or maybe feel bad for "degrading" me, they try to "relate" to me on some level like a "normal" girl? LOL.
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  4. #4
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    I'm celebate.

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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    "Do you have cats? 'Cause I want to smell your hair if you do?" As I was leaning over to take his dollar.

    Rose Leigh

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    Featured Member london's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    " You know what? You're really smart!"
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  7. #7
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    In a champagne room, while I'm sitting on his lap, and he's talking about how he wants to build a farm:

    "I really want sheep too. I love sheep. Do you like sheep? mmmm sheep, so soft and furry and yeah....sheeeeeeeep...." *custy starts stroking my arm and petting my hair.*

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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    ^^Oh dear god, I would have said BAAAAAAAAAAAAA! You aren't soft and furry, are you?

    Though that reminds me of one of my guy friends confessing his deep desire to tie a girl up, cover her with tuna and set a box of kittens loose on her. I knew he liked kitty ears, but it was a full on Cat Fetish!

    Rose Leigh

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    Veteran Member Heaven777's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    I once had to dance for a guy who wanted to be a Turkey.

    Not like "Gobble Gobble...peck at you" Kind of turkey.

    Like Thanks-fucking-Giving turkey. Dead in the OVEN...baste me and tell me how I am cooking and turning golden brown....

    You just "truss" him up...leave him in the VIP...come back, check on him and after a few songs...he's *DING* done...

    Pays you and he's off.

    Wierd. Easy money and good chatting for a long ass time...
    If everything you try is a sure thing, you aren't taking enough risks. If you never fail, you put a limit on the degree to which you can succeed. In short, the only way to win big is to risk losing

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    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    I've had a guy randomly start telling me the weird things he used to do to his sister. Some of the things he told me were really fucked up, so I figured he had some fantasy type thing going on. When I finally got serious and commented on what he was telling me, he was offended by the fact that I thought he was joking about these things, because he wasn't. All in all...

    Who the FUCK tells a random stripper that he used to have sex with his sister, and why would they do so?! Fucking weirdo.

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    I'm going to go kill myself if you don't give me your number. (arggghhh!) or the guy that got off by rubbing my ears LMAO! last week I had a customer that told me I was going to be wealthy, because my ears were beautiful. WTF? Should I join a fucking ear modeling ring? jk
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    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    today a guy said, in the middle of a lap dance, "they kill their own people over there in africa you know"

    .....................

    wtf dude?

    i've had a few guys start spouting random world issues at very akward times before. i mean, i don't mind talking about those things at work if the guy just wants (and pays for) conversation......... but during a dance or when i'm on stage??? wth?

  13. #13
    miss marina
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    I once had to dance for a guy who wanted to be a Turkey.

    Not like "Gobble Gobble...peck at you" Kind of turkey.

    Like Thanks-fucking-Giving turkey. Dead in the OVEN...baste me and tell me how I am cooking and turning golden brown....

    You just "truss" him up...leave him in the VIP...come back, check on him and after a few songs...he's *DING* done...

    Pays you and he's off.

    Wierd. Easy money and good chatting for a long ass time...

    LOL!!! so funny.

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    Veteran Member Littlelo's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    Wow...turkey. Nothing can top that. He gets the award for weirdest request EVER. lol

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    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    From some southern dude from virginia.....

    Me: Hey how bout I dance for you next song!!
    Custie: Sure, how much?
    Me: Twenty Bucks
    Custie: Twenty bucks!!! Girl, no way, I can give you a whole lot more than that!
    Me: like what...
    Custie: I have land and cows.... goes on to actually include chickens...

    WTF...
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  16. #16
    sun child
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    Umm....this is really gross but....one time a customer told me that he had a fantasy that he would be turned into a tiny person (think Honey I Shrunk the Kids meets Gulliver's Travels) and crawl up into a girl's asshole....specifically....mine! The creepiest thing is when you can tell these guys aren't kidding around or fucking with you. They actually have put some deep thought into their insane fetishes. And then that's when you humor them and get $60 out of them....and they leave in a fit of embarrassment.

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    Veteran Member Heaven777's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    /\/\/\

    No tiny people in my asshole! Thanks!

    *bizzare-o*
    If everything you try is a sure thing, you aren't taking enough risks. If you never fail, you put a limit on the degree to which you can succeed. In short, the only way to win big is to risk losing

  18. #18
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    ^^Oh dear god, I would have said BAAAAAAAAAAAAA! You aren't soft and furry, are you?

    Though that reminds me of one of my guy friends confessing his deep desire to tie a girl up, cover her with tuna and set a box of kittens loose on her. I knew he liked kitty ears, but it was a full on Cat Fetish!

    Rose Leigh
    awww! that is adorable! I don't have a cat fetish, but that's just cute! I would totally let a guy do that to me. NOT a custy, but if a guy I was dating wanted to set a box of kittens to eat tuna off of me, I'd be there!

  19. #19
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    Quote Originally Posted by gingerlee View Post
    I've had a guy randomly start telling me the weird things he used to do to his sister. Some of the things he told me were really fucked up, so I figured he had some fantasy type thing going on. When I finally got serious and commented on what he was telling me, he was offended by the fact that I thought he was joking about these things, because he wasn't. All in all...

    Who the FUCK tells a random stripper that he used to have sex with his sister, and why would they do so?! Fucking weirdo.
    OMG..I had a reg for awhile who did this! He used to tell me how much he wanted to fuck me because I apparantly look JUST like his sister. He was a top prosecuter here so he had a ton of money..i forget what the last offer was...but I know it was a LOT. He too told me about how he used to fuck his sister until she got married and woudnt let him anymore.Then he came in one day and was SO happy because he found a hooker that looked just like me, so he could fulfill his fantasy. Ummm..no dude...you found a hooker that looks just like your sister...

  20. #20
    Member braxley's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    someone once gave me five bucks to sing "and the laaaaand of the freeeeeeee"
    "Since society is composed exclusively of dupes and scoundrels, let's decidedly play the latter: it's thirty times more flattering to one's amour-propre to gull others than to be made a gull oneself."

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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    awww! that is adorable! I don't have a cat fetish, but that's just cute! I would totally let a guy do that to me. NOT a custy, but if a guy I was dating wanted to set a box of kittens to eat tuna off of me, I'd be there!
    I can totally hook you two up.

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    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    Quote Originally Posted by sun child View Post
    Umm....this is really gross but....one time a customer told me that he had a fantasy that he would be turned into a tiny person (think Honey I Shrunk the Kids meets Gulliver's Travels) and crawl up into a girl's asshole....specifically....mine! The creepiest thing is when you can tell these guys aren't kidding around or fucking with you. They actually have put some deep thought into their insane fetishes. And then that's when you humor them and get $60 out of them....and they leave in a fit of embarrassment.
    Hehe! Lol....I had a guy a few years ago with a similar fetish....he wanted to be shrunken down to the size of a human dildo (by swallowing a magical potion), as well as being dominated by two "giantesses." A friend and I narrated this fantasy instead of dancing. The guy drank a fake potion, slunk down on the couch bit by bit, and talked in a progressively higher voice. That was an interesting day. I'd say it tested our improv skills rather well
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    Veteran Member ChristyWild's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    "wow- you've got a brain. I don't see that in a lot of strippers!"

    (So, thanks for thinking I'm smart or sorry that you think all my coworkers aren't?)
    Age is only important when it comes to wine and whiskey!



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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    I had a guy go on and on about how he wanted to get me pregnant. He was describing how my stomach was going to get big and stuff... It was really disturbing.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: The most random customer commentary..

    There is a guy I danced for a few times who talks constantly through the dance because he is so nervous. Last time I danced for him he talked about how he plants strawberries in his garden and all the specific ways to care for strawberries. He even talks when you have your back turned.

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