Ok, I'm pissed off lately. For the last year or so I have worked on producing a sort of theatrical project. It was MAJOR stress and very hard, but everyone was proud of me and I felt happy to be doing something that people deemed "worthwhile". Well, my biz partner moved across the country and I decided I don't have the mental energy to try to go it alone and have kinda realized that I may only have been doing it to prove that I can "do something."
When my partner moved I went through a pretty deep depression, did a lot of soul-searching, and discovered that what I REALLY want is to make a lot of money, have a maxmium amount of free time, and just live my life with a minimum amount of stress. Whereas before I was dancing sort of part time (maybe 1-2 shifts a week) and not really being very serious about it, I decided to throw myself headlong into the club and make as much money as possible without approaching burnout. So, long story short, I'm making stellar money, saving tons as my lifestyle hasn't changed, and have almost no stress in my life. I am actually...almost...happy. Finally! Woah!
Great right? No. Every time I talk to someone that I haven't talked to in a while I have the same conversation. This happens a couple times a week:
Them: So how's the show going?
Me: Well, J moved away so I decided just to focus on working at the club.
Them: (In the most condescending tone musterable): Oh. Well, hon, I'm sure you'll be able to find something soon. You're a really smart girl. (They tell me this as if to convince me.)
Me: Uh, I found something. I make great money in a small amount of time, have low stress, and get to basically do what I want.
Them: (Condescension doubles as they think I'm trying to rationalize) Well, good, sweetie. I'm glad you are doing ok. I'm sure it will all work out.
One old associate called today and asked how the show was going. He offered to try to find me a job! He even said (again, as sad and condescendingly as possible), "You can't be making much there. I think a girl like you could probably be good in sales. I'd be happy to make a couple of calls for you and see what I can do."
Alms for the poor stripper? Alms, please, gov'na!



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-Henry Ford

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