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Thread: Rights Protection

  1. #1
    Member billyblue79's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Rights Protection

    Hello,
    I would like to know if anyone knows of any loop holes to the legal system. I am so tired of being discriminated against because I'm an entertainer! I've lost my kids because of it and the best part of it, the judge, both attorneys and my ex husband, all go to strip clubs. But if I work there, "I'm putting my children at risk for sexual preditors and damaging their morals." For the love of God, it's not like I take them to work with me. Worst case, they might see my shoes.
    I feel like I'm being discriminated against because 1, I'm an independent female who DOES NOT NEED A MAN. 2. I'm an attractive female. 3. I'm an intellegent female.
    Seriously we need some legal protection. Yeah, there are a lot of girls who give us a bad name. But more often than not, they are few among the rest of us. It would be no different than saying that an attorney shouldn't be able to have her children because she lies for a living, putting her childrens morals at risk, and she puts her children at risk for harm by work with criminals. But you'll never see this happen.
    Any suggestions.
    Billie Blue
    P.S Im sorry about the tone, it just really gets to me.

  2. #2
    Newbie ebonykat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    thats really awful and i wish i had something useful to say, i'm sure this is not helpful but have you spoken to something like legal aid, they provide free legal advice, because this sounds like discrimination, unless they have any proof that you put your children at risk; brought them to the club, have customers over to your home.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    Sadly, there isn't much one can do. Child custody laws give a great deal of power to the judge. The legal test is that the judge can do whatever is "in the best interest of the child," whatever that means. Ergo, the judge can bring his or her own prejudices to the table. There really isn't a hard and fast rule. You can appeal the decision and hope to get a more sympathetic judge, but that's really your only bet.

    What sucks is that you probably are being discriminated against. And what sucks more is that courts discriminate against working mothers all the time. Actually, I know many women lawyers who lost kids in the divorce cuz they worked too many hours. It's a major flaw in the system.

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  4. #4
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    Unfortunately, between the Duke rape case 'stripper' publicity, the Scores credit card scam and tax evasion publicity, the 'Hollywood Stereotype' of stripper portrayal in the vast majority of movies and TV shows, various highly publicized club busts etc., mainstream media has succeeded in creating a prejudice that 'strippers' are all lying, thieving, drug addicted whores who would say or do anything in their own self-interest. This translates into local criminal court judges and juries, as well as local family court judges, placing 'strippers' in a de-facto position of being guilty until proven innocent in regard to the 'stripper' stereotype. And unfortunately, there IS some percentage of 'strippers' coming before local criminal courts and local family courts that DO match the 'stripper stereotype', which only provides the local judges and juries with all the more reason to assume that the 'stripper stereotype' probably applies to other 'strippers' as well.

    For a fact, higher courts will place far less credibility in the 'stripper' stereotype, and will take the time and follow the letter of the law to discover the true facts of the case (or lack thereof). You could probably prevail over your ex on an appelate court custody case, where the appeals court would actually take note of the fact that you have no criminal record, that you separate your work persona from your personal life, and that a primary reason you are 'stripping' is to provide a better standard of living for your children.

    Unfortunately, filing an appeal will probably require you to pony up around $10,000 in legal fees up front, with no possibility of recovering those legal fees when you win !

    I would also point out that failure to file an appeal at this point in time could work against you if and when you are in a position to file an appeal in the future. The reason for this is that the courts will interpret a decision by you to continue to 'strip' and continue to let your ex have 'unchallenged' custody as a subtle form of abandonment. If this winds up being the case for the next year or two or three, even if you were to win the lottery, quit your dancing job in favor of a 'respectable' job, and file a custody appeal in future years your failure to have taken immediate action after the local family court ruling will count against you to some degree. Also, the longer your children reside with your ex, the more established they become re schools / friends / neighborhood etc. the LESS likely an appelate court will be to create yet another round of major disruption in the children's lives by granting you custody. At some point, unless you can demonstrate wrongdoing or neglect on the part of your ex, the probability of your being granted custody by an appeals court evaporates to zero.

    Is this sort of legal treatment fair ? In the opinion of most people who understand what your dancing job actually entails and does NOT entail - no. In the opinion of people who accept that the 'stripper stereotype' is in fact probably true despite the fact that no hard evidence was submitted to prove that it was true in your specific case - probably yes. I'm sure that the family court judge simply went down his 'checklist', added up the pluses and minuses of the children living in your custody vs living in your ex's custody, decided in your ex's favor, and sleeps comfortably at night knowing his decision was in the 'best interest' of the children.

    The de-facto reality is that unless you're in a position to quickly pony up $10,000 to mount an appeal, the local family court judge's decision is essentially final. Also, be aware that if the status quo re custody remains undisturbed for 6 months, there's nothing stopping your ex from attempting to have the family court slap you with child support payments. After all, the same 'stripper stereotype' says that strippers all earn $1000 a night, and unless your past tax records are squeaky clean it will be nearly impossible to prove that you DON'T earn that much ! Thus a child support claim for $250 per week, negotiated down to say $200 a week, with full income and tax disclosure to the court, certainly isn't impossible.

    ~
    Last edited by Melonie; 07-08-2007 at 05:59 PM.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    Man you haven't posted for awhile. I wish I knew what to do. It's been awhile now, there's probably not much you can do. But hey, you can try... it'll cost a LOT of money though. :/


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  6. #6
    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    The father of my child filed an emergency custody order to attain legal and parental rights to our son. His stated to the court that I was unfit because I was a stripper. And, that I had to be an addict because I was a stripper. I immediately filed a protection order against "Fred" and went to take a drug test(I passed). I was afraid he or his family would try to take my son.I lucked out by having a well known attorney in our city represent me. I proved to the court that I had a clean house, food, was able to provide health care, and the cost of living for me and my son. "Fred" could not prove any of these. He was found in contempt for a number of things his attorney aked him to do. This was before we ever went to court. So, he made himself look like an ass. He showed up to court w/ out anyone to represent him. I was awarded full legal and parental custody based on the number of things I proved in court. Plus child support. A so called stripper can win! It's important to prove yourself in court. I asked my attorney if me being a dancer could hinder my case. He stated,"Honey, it doesn't matter if you've had sex w/ a football team as long as your child wasn't a witness to the act; and, you're able to prove w/out a doubt you are a fit parent." I hear girls bitching about losing their kids often. I later find out they dropped the kids off and went drugging for a week or so. This isn't so in all cases. It's sad when society judges on stereotypes. But, it's also sad when a deserving child is neglected by an unfit parent. If I were you I'd appeal. Your child deserves both parents! You deserve a far judge. I'd also get better representation. Ooooo I would be so pissed if that happend to me! Good luck sweetie!
    It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird

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  7. #7
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    I would suggest getting the best legal representation that money can buy and going to court to request a custody evaluation be done. You're not going to be asking for a change in custody right off the bat, but to have an independent agency evaluate both you and your ex and report their findings to a judge. Judges don't really like making these kinds of decisions (custody) on their own anyway, so having an evaluation done by an independent 3rd party can help. It's not cheap, but I hear it's worthwhile.

    Good luck.

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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    Were you ever married? Has child support been established? Because Iam in florida and the mother is conidered the lega custodial parent if the clidren have lived with you for more than 6 years and if the father wants custody he has to file a suit and claim the mother unfit. This happened to me and I got an attorney and basically its a tactic used when men want thier child support lowered. I automatically got custody and now its jusyt about lowering support. This has been going on 4 years now. So I dont see how they would just take your kids away unless you both had joint custody and he filed something because it usually takes years for these things to even go to court because they go to mediation first and that takes years and unless things can be proven there is no way the judge can do that just for being an entertainer. Ive been dancing 11 years and even had citations for lewd and lucivious and he even called child services on me and I have custody.

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    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    ^^^I was wondering that too.
    It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird

    Blessed Be

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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    Also to anyone who is a single parent and was never married and you are not with the childs father. You need to go file to establish paternity and child support. That basically gives you custody and makes it harder for things like this to happen latter because custody is esablished and once that happens its hard as hell to get that changed. It would cost a man in excess of 15-20,000 because of all the specialists that have to called in and things that need to be proven.

  11. #11
    Member billyblue79's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    I was Married. I wish I had've just had the kids.

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    Member billyblue79's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    Good News!
    It's a small world after all. Yesterday I to go to court over my childsupport. I decided to stop dancing for a while to get my childsupport lowered. Not being able to pay the full $730.00 got me an arrainment for contempt of court, being I had been ordered to pay said amount. I had been freaking out over all this for months. When I get infront of the Jugde, I recongnize the County Attorney from Solid Platinum. He very quickly tells the judge, "I think I need to speak with her in private, she has new documentation and I strongly believe she needs to have an adjustment.
    When I got to the back the County Attorney was very very helpful. The first good thing that has happened during the entire ordeal. I expressed I was no longer working at Solid Platinum, because the courts ruling. My income had dramatically decreased. I also told him about my ex being under investigation for neglect and substance abuse with Child services. He told me that he would personally look into things with Child Services and if there was every anything he could do to help me in the future, He would.
    I now have a good connection in my county. I remembered dancing for him and the former mayor of my town last summer. I'm bettin he recongnized me too and would like for me to keep things on the DL.
    Rach

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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    Billy, why have you signed up as a guy?
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Member billyblue79's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rights Protection

    I goofed up nothing new for me

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