Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 93

Thread: Cheating?

  1. #26
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    If my g/f wanted to fool around with another girl i wouldn't mind. If she wanted to fuck with another man then i aint having that....im gone.
    This always makes me giggle.

    So one sex organ is more intimdating than the other? A vagina is okay, but a penis will ruin everything?

    If there is enough love and trust there to share your partner with another woman, a man shouldn't be any different, IMO. And if a person is worried about losing their loved one to the other person they share them with, well, newsflash, it can happen with EITHER sex.

    Eh...it just makes me giggle, but so be it.




  2. #27
    God/dess
    Joined
    May 2004
    Posts
    6,336
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 11 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    If my g/f wanted to fool around with another girl i wouldn't mind. If she wanted to fuck with another man then i aint having that....im gone.

    Because a meaningful relationship couldn't develop from girl/girl sex and therefore endanger my current relationship?



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

  3. #28
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Callyish View Post
    Okay if a guy and girl are dating... the girl is completely Bi-Sexual and wants to be able to still play with other girls once n awhile and have threesomes... is she cheating on the guy shes with by wanting this?

    Basically this guy I was seeing said that its cheating to fool around with other girls. It pissed me off because I told him that I was like this when I met him and he said he was cool with it.

    Well the guy did turn out to be a nut lol.

    He also said its impossible that couples who swing could be in love because you dont fuck other people when you love someone
    I bet he wouldn't consider it if he participated with girls only.

  4. #29
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    As a swinger who is madly in love and been married for 7 years, together 10...I can honestly say that is BS. Yes, there are swingers who arent in love...but there are plenty on monogomous cpls that arent in love too. One doesnt cancel out the other.

    On the cheating thing..if everyone knows and is ok with it..nothing is cheating. If you have to hide it ..then anything can be considered cheating.Its all about honesty and respect. Dont do something you KNOW will upset your partner..whether that is sex, kissing or getting a lap dance. Respect their wishes or you cant expect them to respect yours.

    YES.

  5. #30
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Cheating is stepping beyond the established boundaries of the relationship. It's not about sex, it's about betrayal. For one couple, a guy getting a lapdance at the titty bar is cheating; for another, full sex is not cheating. It's all about the boundaries of the PARTICULAR relationship.

    And swingers can most definitely be deeply in love. In my experience, swingers tend to have better relationships than monogamous couples because of the greater degree of openness and communication. K and I swing occasionally and I think y'all know how crazy we are for each other, LOL! I don't consider it cheating if he fucks another woman. I just wanna watch.

  6. #31
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Schwarzefornia
    Posts
    2,410
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Cheating is stepping beyond the established boundaries of the relationship. It's not about sex, it's about betrayal. For one couple, a guy getting a lapdance at the titty bar is cheating; for another, full sex is not cheating. It's all about the boundaries of the PARTICULAR relationship.
    Y:

    I agree wholeheartedly with your analysis. IMO, a person is as "faithful" as the agreement they've arrived at with their SO.

    At the end of the day, a relationship should be predicated on the level of trust and love present--or absent--between partners, which in turn allows the door to swing (pardon the pun) a certain distance in either direction painlessly--or painfully...

  7. #32
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 14 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Cheating is stepping beyond the established boundaries of the relationship. It's not about sex, it's about betrayal. For one couple, a guy getting a lapdance at the titty bar is cheating; for another, full sex is not cheating. It's all about the boundaries of the PARTICULAR relationship.

    And swingers can most definitely be deeply in love. In my experience, swingers tend to have better relationships than monogamous couples because of the greater degree of openness and communication. K and I swing occasionally and I think y'all know how crazy we are for each other, LOL! I don't consider it cheating if he fucks another woman. I just wanna watch.
    As for a word describing this, I always felt the word "cheating" was applied to make "betrayal" go away. I mean, by definition it institutes the idea of making one thing easier by breaking the rules.

    So....my relationship is better with my wife, because I broke my vows and got a mistress...

    Sure, I suppose.

    Monogamy of ANY TYPE shouldn't be an expectation. It's a gift. A completely unnecessary gift given because one partner in the relationship is so interesting that the other partner naturally lacks desire to seek out sexual gratification elsewhere and HOPEFULLY that's returned on both sides.

    I hate when people go into a relationship and take monogamy upon that shift from "dating" to "going out" and act like "Monogamy is the sacrifice you get to earn this "Label" of "Girlfriend" from me". Starting a relationship off with forced sacrifice is just so unnatural.

    Fortunately for so many, monogamy works well, but if you ask them why it works with them and not the many boys or girls they've dated before them, you will hear an answer that sounds like their actions in their relationships were done out of "gifting" not out of "expectation".

    When you expect dinner on the table ever night at 6 from you're wife, you're taking advantage of her and as a result she will begin to feel that. However, if you just come home, and she's putting dinner on the table because she's free too and you're thankful for it, then it's a gift and so much can be had.

    Really, if people would just go after who they're attracted to, and do what comes natural during that attraction that would be much more stress free.

    I mean, I can write a book on this, but look,

    WHEN YOU DEFINE THE BOUNDARIES OF A RELATIONSHIP, YOU LOCK IT IN. AS A RESULT YOU FEEL SECURE BUT YOU ALSO BREED A LONGING FOR WHAT LIFE IS LIKE OUTSIDE THE BOX.

    I love Cally to death, but this whole thing just wreaks of a sign of bigger issues.

    The objective is seeking the mate that wants to stay in the house even tho he/she can leave at any time.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  8. #33
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    ^^^^^ Couldn't have said it better myself. Astute as always.

  9. #34
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    I dont think it's cheating if the guy knows about it. I think of cheating as a clandestine encounter behind the SO's back.

  10. #35
    buffie06
    Guest

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    ^Okay Buffie, we have WAY too much in common!
    I know, what's up with that? I'm always mee too! mee too! You know I just wannabe like you, EE! lol

  11. #36
    TheSexKitten
    Guest

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    WHEN YOU DEFINE THE BOUNDARIES OF A RELATIONSHIP, YOU LOCK IT IN. AS A RESULT YOU FEEL SECURE BUT YOU ALSO BREED A LONGING FOR WHAT LIFE IS LIKE OUTSIDE THE BOX.
    wowowow.

    That is eerily relevant to myself.



    Mast +1!

  12. #37
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    2,998
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 64 Times in 43 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Heh - years ago I was in a relationship with a bi girl. Everything was cool as far as I was concerned, but my girlfriend's girlfriend got all jealous and couldn't stand the thought of her being with a guy.

  13. #38
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Schwarzefornia
    Posts
    2,410
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahMike View Post
    Heh - years ago I was in a relationship with a bi girl. Everything was cool as far as I was concerned, but my girlfriend's girlfriend got all jealous and couldn't stand the thought of her being with a guy.
    So, UM, did your relationship with her^^ end bi mistake?

  14. #39
    Curious Guest Tileguy's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2007
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    I dont think he is an moron or an idiot whats wrong with no sharing the woman you love. When did sex stop being something special, maybe I am old school but I think its more than getting off. Something that should be shared with someone who means something to you. Not just some who turns you on.
    Last edited by Tileguy; 07-16-2007 at 06:00 PM.

  15. #40
    God/dess
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5,170
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 16 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    If my g/f wanted to fool around with another girl i wouldn't mind. If she wanted to fuck with another man then i aint having that....im gone.
    You're what? 20 years old? No offense...but you have A LOT to learn about relationships.



  16. #41
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tileguy View Post
    I dont think he is an moron or an idiot whats wrong with no sharing the woman you love. When did sex stop being something special, maybe I am old school but I think its more than getting off. Something that should be shared with someone who means something to you. Not just some who turns you on.
    This why we say swinging, or open relationships are nto for everyone. And there is nothing wrong with not being okay with it.

    I do believe the point was that in the start of the relationship, he had said he WAS okay with it....then went back on that. That would be the problem.

    As we have all stated here, there is nothing wrong with either way, as long as BOTH partners feel the same.

    But thank you for sharing your veiws on it.




  17. #42
    Callyish
    Guest

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tileguy View Post
    I dont think he is an moron or an idiot whats wrong with no sharing the woman you love. When did sex stop being something special, maybe I am old school but I think its more than getting off. Something that should be shared with someone who means something to you. Not just some who turns you on.
    First off, this guy got into this relationship knowing how I was and what I liked. So when you start dating a girl knowing this is how she is, she tells you this is what she wants... why tell her your cool with it then change your mind?

    I hate people who lie to me... and this is what he did.

    Swinging is not for everyone, but just because your in a swinging relationship does not mean you don't love your SO.

  18. #43
    sun child
    Guest

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Well, you two obviously share different values. You think that it's no big deal, he does. Either you tell him to deal with it, and he does or doesn't, or you tell him to hit the road.

  19. #44
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tileguy View Post
    I dont think he is an moron or an idiot whats wrong with no sharing the woman you love. When did sex stop being something special, maybe I am old school but I think its more than getting off. Something that should be shared with someone who means something to you. Not just some who turns you on.
    You signed up for that?

  20. #45
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Schwarzefornia
    Posts
    2,410
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by sun child View Post
    Well, you two obviously share different values. You think that it's no big deal, he does. Either you tell him to deal with it, and he does or doesn't, or you tell him to hit the road.
    IMO, Callyish already did (see below)...At a glance, it appears that his loss is her gain!

    Quote Originally Posted by Callyish View Post
    So when I broke it off with this guy I told him we're too different and I have sexual needs that he wont let me have. He goes 'fine you whore go fuck other people, im too mature for you'...

  21. #46
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 14 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Tileguy:

    Who said sex wasn't anything special? I would say it's situational. As full of variety and spice as the relationship it represents.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  22. #47
    God/dess
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    2,352
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    I think everyone has said that cheating is a matter of honesty and you and your partners comfort levels.But I also think that many times relationships evolve and new perameters are put into place . That is why I don't think the initial levels of comfort in a relationship always hold true they are constantly changing .

  23. #48
    Member Raven_Reno's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Callyish View Post
    why tell her your cool with it then change your mind?
    I think sometimes people think they will be cool with something but when they actually try it they realize that it's not right for them afterall.

    But to answer the original question. Is fooling around with someone whose is not part of the committed relationship cheating? For me the answer is yes but that is why I choose to be monogamous.

    I have never quite understood why someone who doesn't want to live a monogamous lifestyle would enter into a committed relationship such as marriage in the first place and yes I have heard plenty of expanatiosn before but it still just doesn't seem logical to me. I just accept that not everyone has the same point of view and figure what goes on behind closed doors is not really my concern unless it somehow directly affects my life.

  24. #49
    cameron_keys
    Guest

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raven_Reno View Post
    I have never quite understood why someone who doesn't want to live a monogamous lifestyle would enter into a committed relationship such as marriage in the first place
    Well..to give you an idea. I am happily married in an open marriage. I chose to get married because I am in love with my husband and vice versa. We commited to give our hearts, minds and souls to each other for the rest of our lives. We commited to go through life together..sharing everything and making decisions together..both spiritually and legally.

    However...sex is not the be all and end all of our relationship. Sex between us is special and intimate. Sex with others is purely physical and recreational. Not everyone has the ability or the wish to separate the two. We do.
    Everything else about our narriage is perfectly "normal". And we got married for much the same reasons everyone else does.

    Hope that makes more sense to you.

  25. #50
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: Cheating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raven_Reno View Post
    I think sometimes people think they will be cool with something but when they actually try it they realize that it's not right for them afterall.

    But to answer the original question. Is fooling around with someone whose is not part of the committed relationship cheating? For me the answer is yes but that is why I choose to be monogamous.

    I have never quite understood why someone who doesn't want to live a monogamous lifestyle would enter into a committed relationship such as marriage in the first place and yes I have heard plenty of expanatiosn before but it still just doesn't seem logical to me. I just accept that not everyone has the same point of view and figure what goes on behind closed doors is not really my concern unless it somehow directly affects my life.
    See, this is a good example for some other people. You may not agree or understand it, and that's fine. That jsut means you keep your nose out of it.

    No one is going to convince R_R that this is the way to go, or that it's a good thing, and that's fine. But obviously she is not holding that over our heads or feeling like she is right and we are wrong. I so wish more people were like this.

    It's much like stripping really. Many people would ask "How can you show your body and act sexy for men other than your husband? That's like cheating."

    But gee, we all know how that turns out don't we?




Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Cheating
    By AngelKing in forum Life Support
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 02-17-2011, 12:44 PM
  2. Going to a SC=Cheating?
    By Julie, Julie in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 50
    Last Post: 07-05-2008, 11:17 PM
  3. Cheating
    By King in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 03-23-2006, 06:36 AM
  4. Cheating?!?
    By ARCOR in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 02-24-2006, 02:33 PM
  5. cheating?
    By blueyegurl_05 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 02-21-2006, 08:35 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •