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Thread: moving in advice!

  1. #1
    Lola Rose
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    Default moving in advice!

    So, I'm moving in with Rob

    Any advice on how to deal with all the issues that will inevitably come up?

  2. #2
    Gypsy74
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    I don't have any advice as I've never cohabitated completely with another individual in a romantic way, but good luck!!!

  3. #3
    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    The things you do early when cohabitating will stay. It will take an act of God to undo them. So speak up, and often (but in a nice way). If something really bothers you, have a discussion about it, don't let it go... because you'll be stuck with it.

    And make sure alone time is well established. It has a tendency to disappear when people move in.

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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    Sort out the chores and money responsiblities. On paper/spreadsheet if possible. ASAP. If one of you ends up being 'the mom' and doesn't want to be, it causes a lot of resentment.

    Continue to go on 'dates'. Don't fall into the sitting in front of the tv trap.

  5. #5
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    We're thinking of getting a 2 br... with the extra bedrom being a guest/computer/craft room....

    do you think it'd be better for us to have a 3br, and have a seperate space for his study and my craft room?

    (RE: alone time?)

  6. #6
    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    Boy and I have a 2 BR, which seems to work fine for us, but we work a lot of opposite hours. I guess just go with what you think.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    Quote Originally Posted by rozz View Post
    The things you do early when cohabitating will stay. It will take an act of God to undo them. So speak up, and often (but in a nice way). If something really bothers you, have a discussion about it, don't let it go... because you'll be stuck with it.

    And make sure alone time is well established. It has a tendency to disappear when people move in.
    This is pretty much what I was going to say. You will learn a ton about what irks you and what irks him. It's a really different experience...really!

  8. #8
    Veteran Member SweetMelissa's Avatar
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    Smiley Re: moving in advice!

    Congratulations on moving in with Rob (though I don't know the whole story I do remember reading your post about how you told him you loved him and how it's your first "adult" relationship). I hope everything works out the way you'd like it to.

    When I first moved in with my man, there were (and still are) plenty of talks and arguments over the silly stuff like chores and whatnot. Don't let it upset you too much if it happens. Hopefully the two of you can come to an agreement like my husband and I have.

    We've been living in cramped rental boats/studio apartments for the last year and a half. We're just now moving to OR in a week to live in a two-bedroom apartment...FINALLY!! I can not wait to have the extra room. I seriously have been going crazy being around him 24-7 (we both work at home).

    So I say, if you both can afford it, try to get at least a one-bedroom apartment with a big living room so you'll always have an area to yourself if you need it. With the two-bedroom place we're moving in to, one bedroom will be for obvious reasons and the other will be for work/hobbies/a getaway if needed.

    Oh yeah, and like Rose Leigh said earlier, try to still go out on dates as often as possible. My husband and I haven't gone on dates enough over the past year and it makes me feel like we're just roommates or he's my brother..ughh. So yes, go on dates!!!!

    Good luck

  9. #9
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    My advice is to discuss your day to day as well as longterm expectations are BEFORE to moving in together so there are less surprises, disapointments or arguements after the fact.

  10. #10
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    Be CONFIDENT in your decision to move in. If you have ANY reservations, voice them and communicate them.

    Hey, if ya like the guy, Have FUN with it. Sure yer gonna get on each other's nerves. Just be sure your not disrespecting each other. And try to make sure you have personal space.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  11. #11
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    1) Do it for love and love only. Too many people do it for convenience or necessity rather than love, which leads to fights, obligations, and trust issues.
    2) Don't collaborate on purchases. If you move out, it'll be easier to divide up the stuff.
    3) Keep an emergency stash of a few months' living expenses on hand in case something happens so you're not labeled as a deadbeat.
    4) Don't borrow money from your significant other, because if something happens, he or she will want that money back right away.
    5) Divide up household chores and stick by them.
    6) Keep in mind that when not cohabitating, going home means "me time." When cohabitating, going home means "us time," so "me time" = "us time." Keep up a life independent from your significant each other, but make sure to spend quality time with each other as well.
    7) Have backup plans in case something happens.
    Some famous last words are, "But we spend so much time together that we might as well live together." Believe me, it's different.

  12. #12
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    Live in a duplex. One on each side. Visit sparingly.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  13. #13
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    Thanks for all your ADVIce. We talked a bit more about it, well, a lot. Who will do what, alone time.....that sort of thing.

    We decided we're going to get a 3bedroom, so we'll have pleanty of room, for privacy, for guests.....

    I am very confident in this being a great idea. and miss LR is soooo head over heels

  14. #14
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: moving in advice!

    I think it's so funny that his name is Rob too

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