Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: How do you leave the business successfuly?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Twin Cities, Minnesota
    Posts
    719
    Thanks
    16
    Thanked 50 Times in 24 Posts

    Default How do you leave the business successfuly?

    Ok, so I've been struggling with leaving dancing for the past year now..well this summer is when I really have been getting serious about it. I've been on interviews, getting my resume together, I check Craig's list EVERYDAY and look for something that will interest me. But still it is really hard.

    I don't make that much money anymore..I know it is summer and it is slow but it is very discouraging to take your clothes off and just GET BY. It is not that I'm not pretty or a bad dancer..I've been dancing for five years...it is just Mpls sucks for dancing..or maybe my club just sucks..I don't know...there are hardly any guys coming in and spending like they used to and I guess I just have too much respect for myself to tolorate their crap. When I do make money off of a guy in VIP I drink so much to deal with him and I have to fight a hangover the next day...it seems like a vicious circle. It isn't that I hate dancing I like sexiness and music and fun and all of that...it is just how much my club and all the clubs for that matter have gotten so seedy..it just is depressing me now...I've been getting so depressed where I am in my life now that somedays I can't get out of bed or make it into work which only stresses my finnacial situation even more. I loved dancing, I love to dance and party I always took the job seriously and treated it like a job..I loved the freedom and hours and being independent and self motivated. But not it just isn't the same to me. I don't know what it is but I find it really stressful even DEPRESSING. I would never trash dancing, it has helped me so much and given me so much it really is my dream job but I'm really sick of the innconsitancy of the money, the cheap guys that act like you should practically beg them to get dances from you, putting in all this effort and perverts not looking to be entertained but just trying to harrass you to go back to their hotel room. The pay out is WAY too high it isn't even worth my time anymore.

    I feel really angry about it because I was so emotionally attached to that job...for the first time I felt like a somebody now I feel like I have to go out in the world and be a nobody again. I really want to prove I can make it in the real world again this time more mature and wise but I miss know I'll miss the limelight that dancing will gave me. I always knew I'd have to leave dancing eventually but I didn't know it would be so sudden.

    Sorry I don't mean to bitch but I just wish there was something eles out there that gave me as much happiness and dancing used to give me...and I don't know what that is yet..I know I am an intelligent woman who can fit into different enviroments and act professional but being kind of your own person and getting to have fun for a living? How do you top that? But the truth is I feel really burnt out and even feel degraded by some of the guys and I just can't tolortate it for what they are willing to give me.

    I've even considered waiting tables again...it is alot of physical work but I like to be busy, like talking to people, and like cash on hand...this seems like a logical transition but I started dancing to get away from waiting and better my life but now I feel like I can't move forward..I feel like I am running in place in my life. I get so pumped to start a new career or adventure but I'm so comfortable dancing and the freedom that it is hard to let go of that even though being there makes me depressed and stressed out. I don't know what my problem is...but when I hear what some servers make in nice resturants around my area I am shocked! Sometimes it is on par with what some dancers make.

    I guess I'm just blabbaling...I guess my question is how did you girls that retired, how did you find the strength to walk away from something so comfortable and what are you doing now? How did you not revert back to it?

  2. #2
    God/dess
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Phoenix is home, work in Upper Midwest Boonies
    Posts
    3,274
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 107 Times in 61 Posts

    Default Re: How do you leave the business successfuly?

    I can understand how you feel. I work bookings in the rural parts of your area. Lots of Twin Cities girls book with me in Albert Lea and some go to Fargo and other clubs within driving distance. High housefees have ALWAYS been an issue for Minneapolis clubs, and given the iffy business, I know lots of girls who live but never work there.

    Have you ever noticed that change is gradual. Once another venture that is being worked simutaneously with dancing is regularly producing more income or equal income to dancing, that venture will replace dancing and you will never look back.

    In my opinion a job is not a replacement for dancing. How much can you bring home from a paycheck job? Does the money equal what you bring home now dancing in the same amount of hours? A business venture that you build and grow, most likely would be the only thing to earn you enough money so you don't end up back in the clubs.

    Many girls end up back in the clubs, unless they have built a succesful side business WHILE they were dancing to replace it.

  3. #3
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,373
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How do you leave the business successfuly?

    I haven't yet but thought this would be a good place to share. Right now I've been supporting myself through dancing for about two years (both finishing my degree and post B.A.) I've worked a bunch of internships and I'm at one right now and I feel I can get a Real Job after this current one (ending in September). I'm really close to burning out on dancing right now -- I have little tolerance for bullshit and my earnings have gone severely down, mainly because I have this feeling that I'm so close to not being financially dependent on this anymore.

    It's hard to focus and feel like my exit strategy is valid right now in the midst of the summer slump. I'm trying to switch up clubs a bit but inertia is evil. Argh.

  4. #4
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Twin Cities, Minnesota
    Posts
    719
    Thanks
    16
    Thanked 50 Times in 24 Posts

    Default Re: How do you leave the business successfuly?

    I know Tina, but sometimes hanging on to dancing makes me feel like I am just fucking around...I always have treated it like a job but it is not going anywhere. I'm scared to spend money because I get afraid I won't have enough for bills...I'm scared to go in because guys are pulling their dicks out and trying to grab at me...when I first started stuff like that was not happening to me...so I am just not mentally prepared to deal with all of this...I get such anxiety around men now...I worry constantly about making my tip out and house fees and it puts me in really bad postions because this is my only job. After having a horrible experience with a man in VIP I get in fight or flight mode and start searching for ANYTHING any kind of job because the anxiety and depression of being put in situations like this is so overwhelming it is like I don't even have a job because I can't bring myself to back there!

    I feel if I forced myself to go back in the real world and get some experience again it is a big step and if I only have to dance one night a week...the stress would go down because I would have other options..right now I feel like I have no options and it is a really scary feeling. I'm sure the real world isn't as bad as I imagined it anyway...it can't be as bad as this stress and anxiety and depression I am feeling now. I'm just sad because I used to make so much money, and had freedom and fun and now it just feels like hell!

  5. #5
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,373
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How do you leave the business successfuly?

    Also, have you considered learning more about restaurant management? Maybe you could do something like start waiting tables somewhere that you like while also getting on a management track somehow. You already know a lot about customer service and have flexible hours for that kind of part time job, and if you're taking classes too you'd have great skills.

  6. #6
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,373
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How do you leave the business successfuly?

    Or barbacking... isn't that like a bartending apprenticeship? Crappy pay but probably a good way to get into bar managing.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Twin Cities, Minnesota
    Posts
    719
    Thanks
    16
    Thanked 50 Times in 24 Posts

    Default Re: How do you leave the business successfuly?

    Thanks for the advice. I used to wait tables and there are many nice places hiring..I like people and like to stay busy so maybe I should really consider getting back into the hospitality business...I have a friend opening a bookstore soon here but he is still finnishing the buisness plan right now but said I have a job if I want it ( I would love it...I love to read and I have worked in a bookstore before) but I feel like I have to find something ASAP because this shit is not working out for me. I also would want to have a more structured job again to mentally prepare me again for anything eles I choose to do. I know I am a strong person because I've danced and proved to myself that I CAN make it in the real world but now I feel like hanging on to this job in a way is preventing me from being responsible and growing up. There was a time when it was the perfect job from me and I made money and made that danm club money...but I am not willing to comply with the expectations nowadays. If I can make money waiting tables again, and keep my clothes on and not tolorate sexual harrassment I'll gladly work full time. I know I am a hard working, professional person, I have experience and know how to act in the "real world" have my high school diploma and some collage and skills....I just don't know why I become so doubtful of myself and scared. I start to doubt myself that I will be able to be successful without dancing but I feel like I just want to party for a living but now it doesn't even feel that way anymore...it feels scary and stressful and is making me wonder about my maturity. I just wish it was how it was when I first started but I feel like it comes a time when I have to be a big girl and face the reality of the situation.

  8. #8
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,373
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How do you leave the business successfuly?

    It's just like graduating from high school or college... you've spent a huge (seemingly) chunk of your life with it but you've gotten all you can and you're ready for the big unknown...

  9. #9
    Member Symmy's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    72
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: How do you leave the business successfuly?

    I've been dancing a bit longer than you but OMG I so can relate! I am going to get away from the bar scene all together and go for medical sonograghy.God help me I will get out of dancing ..the whole biz has been going down the tubes for a while now .

  10. #10
    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Toronto 4 now...
    Posts
    4,876
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How do you leave the business successfuly?

    ^^All the reasons I'm not going back. Too much work for not enough money. I remember having $1k + nights easily in Detroit of all places. Fast forward a few years later and I am busting my ass and putting up with the worst of assholes to make that in Vegas. Fuck that. I've really seen the biz go down the tubes right before my eyes and I'm not gonna stick around til it comes back.

    I'm really glad I clicked on this thread b/c it reinforced everything I said above. Every time I think I'm done, I miss it and always end up doing a weekend somewhere. I was already thinking I could do a night in Vegas for the sw fest since I figured it really would be my last time dancing and it'd be shopping money anyway. I don't think I even want to bother with that.

Similar Threads

  1. Don't know if I should leave him
    By anouk.oui in forum Life Support
    Replies: 68
    Last Post: 12-24-2011, 05:41 AM
  2. I'll just leave this here...
    By AlleysonChains in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 11-21-2011, 03:58 PM
  3. I Have to Say This Before I Finally Leave...
    By Deni in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-12-2008, 11:08 AM
  4. Tell me to leave
    By Perry in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-07-2008, 10:32 AM
  5. Leave...Me....ALONE
    By MojoJojo in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-29-2005, 05:45 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •