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Thread: what should i do? (about another dancer)

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default what should i do? (about another dancer)

    first let me say this:
    i work -mostly- dayshift at a fairly popular club. it's been slow both days and nights lately, so money is "up and down" right now.

    that in consideration, here is my question/problem, please tell me how you would handle it:
    a few of us girls on dayshift (the ones who've been there awhile) are pretty close. some of us are closer than others, but we all get along, which is really nice. well, this is about one girl specificaly who started about the same time as me at this club (a year ago). the first few months we knew eachother we got along great. the next few months after that she started drinking more and more at work and would occasionaly get obnoxious/rude with the customers, or in general would just be "out of line". therefor, we were still friends, but i started to kind of stay away from her on the floor, not wanting to be associated with the same attitude.

    that's basically how our relationship had been up till a month ago when she stopped working because of a family problem. we would call eachother from time to time and we got along fine in the dressing room and etc. but i would keep to myself when she was drunk. anyway, she took a month off because something bad happened (i don't want to go into specifics, since you never know who reads this stuff) to a family member.

    well, she came back to work a couple days ago. it's slow (as stated before) so there's not a lot of guys and the club tends to be "quiet" at times. it's also hard to motivate the guys who -are- there to tip sometimes because the atmosphere i so dead. well....... every single time she went on stage she would literally SCREAM "COME ONNNNN......... YOU FUCKERS!!!!! WTF????" and stomp her feet. at one point she sat down on the stage (drunk) and started clapping insanely loudly inbetween yelling fits. customers who were spending money on other dancers in the back of the club (self included) were getting uncomfortable and irritated.

    this same thing happened the next day. then....... i was sitting with a couple who (unfortunately) "felt bad" for her while she was stomping and whatnot.. and had me tip her on stage. so, after her set she comes over, drunk off her ass, and sits with us. that -used- to be ok with me, since i -used- to work with her with larger group of custys and what-not and never had a problem.

    well this time we do our usual "hustle" together... get the guy to buy double dances for himself and his wife. we had done this many times before, so i went into it thinking it was no big deal. well HELLO HELLO she is flat out -grinding- on the guy (not ok in my club), and is -all over him- in other ways as well (i'm sure you get the picture).

    WTH? it became -very- hard for me to compete. i couldn't believe it. she and i used to ban together with other "core" dayshift girls to get girls like that -out- of the club. i still made money off of that couple, since they really liked me, but i can see where it would DEFINATELY hinder my money making ability with other custys. also, her stage behavior is (for the most part) scaring people off, and we barely have any customers to begin with.

    here's the second part of the complication:
    the other "core" daygirls stopped liking her long before i did. i think this is mostly because she and i started at the same time and they were all there before us. anyway, i get along with them, and it's kind of hurting my rep that she started hanging around me again. when she's really drunk she'll PLOP right next to me while i'm talking to a guy and then start blabbering loudly.

    normally the "action" to take would be a no-brainer... but i guess i feel kind of bad about it. i know she went through some tough times this past month, but at the same time, she had already been heading this direction before she took the time off. *sigh* what would you do? i know management listens to me, but i'm having trouble getting the balls to say something. i -kind of- mentioned it in passing the other day, but not in any "solid" way.

    ? help ?

    ps. i've talked to her before about the stomping/yelling/being mean to customers... and she acts all understanding and sorry.... but then she does it again when she drinks.

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    Featured Member lolagetz's Avatar
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    Default Re: what should i do? (about another dancer)

    Why does management allow her to act like a 2 year old on stage, and to break the rules while giving lapdances?

    This is a tough one... I guess I would just ask her if maybe she needs more vacation time. But she'll probably just blow you off, but it's worth a shot. Do you think she'll be able to work this out by herself? If you think she'd go for it, therapy would be a good idea.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: what should i do? (about another dancer)

    People like that scare me. I'd just stop talking to her. Don't be rude since that would just make life harder... and you may not ALWAYS be able to avoid her... but if you don't want to tell management, I think it's the only way.

    Does she know that the other girls don't like her? Does she stay away from them? Maybe you should try to hang out with them more.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: what should i do? (about another dancer)

    Quote Originally Posted by lolagetz View Post
    Why does management allow her to act like a 2 year old on stage, and to break the rules while giving lapdances?
    because our regular management is DJing nights (our night dj suddenly quit) so right now we have a swing shift manager working our shifts till our regular manager is back....... and the guy we have doesn't do much. i think he's "afraid".

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    Default Re: what should i do? (about another dancer)

    i always hate when girls act like that on stage its the worst. It scares guys away i have seen that done but alot of girls unfountantly.

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    Default Re: what should i do? (about another dancer)

    I'd personally bring up her actions to her in the moments when she's sober, tell her you're worried about her, and give her the number, or a meeting time for the local AA. Offer to go with her, as having a friend by your side makes the battle not as scary. If she acts like it again, management needs to step in. However, there is only so much you can do. If she is heavily in denial and refuses to budge, you've done all you can. Move on.

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    Senior Member StarrGrrrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: what should i do? (about another dancer)

    She will give your club a bad rep. quickly. I would definietly get management involved, otherwise, your club will be a ghost town. I've seen it happen (anyone from the Bouzouki, Detroit can probably guess who I'm talking about... think dayshift)
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    Default Re: what should i do? (about another dancer)

    ^^lol! I actually have two names coming to mind! The one named after a state or the sparkly barefoot one?

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    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default Re: what should i do? (about another dancer)

    I think strawberry had the best advice. Try once more to have a serious chat with her and encourage her to get help, and then go to management. I know she's kind of your friend, and it's sad to see what's happening to her. But doing nothing and allowing it to continue isn't going to be good for you, her, or the club. She's clearly out of control and can't handle herself in this environement. If she continues to be allowed to get away with anything, you can probably assume her behavior will get worse and worse. Meanwhile, she's ruining other people's money with her inappropriate dances, and her fits that scare off the customers. Really- what else can you do?

    But try talking to her again if you want. The fact that she's able to admit (when sober) that her behavior is out of line and apologize means she MIGHT be able to register what you're saying and see the truth in it. Good luck.

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    Senior Member StarrGrrrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: what should i do? (about another dancer)

    Quote Originally Posted by LatinaRose View Post
    ^^lol! I actually have two names coming to mind! The one named after a state or the sparkly barefoot one?
    That would be a positive on the one named after a state... A nortwestern state.. a BIG SKY state

    I love the sparkly barefoot one, she's my homie. I keep in touch with her often. She's an awsome girl, she just doesn't take dumb bullshit from anyone, and she gets alot of it aimed at her (mostly because she lets it bother her) Ah, Leo pride...
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    Default Re: what should i do? (about another dancer)

    Probably can't help her unless she bottoms out and you happen to be there to check her into the hospital. Otherwise, she is rain on your parade.

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