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Thread: Guy advice please!!!!!!

  1. #1
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Somebody help me out here.......

    First of all, I am a little naive when it comes to guys. A couple weeks ago I was working in vegas, and one night I was shopping and hanging out at the wynn. As I was walking by a blackjack table I noticed a guy staring at me....kinda creepy! Anyways, my girlfriend and I went to the bar and a few moments later, another guy came up to me asking if his friend could buy me a drink. I said yes, and it was the same guy from the blackjack table. I ended up talking to him for an hour and he was really cool. He's only 23 so I felt at ease with him. He asked me to come to L.A. the next weekend to hang out, and I gave him my number. He told me he has girlfriends in every city and he doesn't save girls' numbers. Well, ok, whatever..... I never called him, but he did call me a few days later. I agreed to go to L.A. the next weekend. I ended up staying a week, and had a great time with this guy! I figured out that he is extremely insecure, and I could tell he had had his heart broken before. I also learned that he did not have any other girlfriends and he just said that to sound like a player. I had no expectations, but when he dropped me off at the airport, he told me he loved me and started crying....He said he never gets attached to girls but I was different. He called me the next day and asked me to move to L.A. and move in with him. I don't know what to do now...I wonder if he is just chasing me because I didnt kiss his ass (he has alot of $$$) or what? I also don't know if this game and I am part of a bet or something, because I have never met a guy like this. If it is, he was a damn good actor at the airport! What should I do? I am really afraid to let me guard down, as I always end up getting hurt. I don't know whether to believe him or not...what do I do?
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Just take your time, and move slow. Build structure, structure a set time for a few months where you can see him and work the kinks out over time. If it's a good/great thing, these answers will come naturally.

    Take your time. Don't think about it as "taking it slow", think about it like "Savoring something good"


    No need to hurry.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    i agree with mast but i don't particularly like the initial lies from him so far. white lies or not, it's not the best way to start a relationship. it's a pet peeve of mine (being truthful) but it applies well.

    but if he's serious, he'll take it serious and not lightly and rush you or the relationship.

    and neither should you if that's what you're looking for. good luck and i hope it works out!

  4. #4
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    His raging insecurity could present big problems down the road. He claims he lied about having girlfriends just to sound like a player, because basically he's insecure? What will his next lie be about, and how much to do you want to bet it will lead back to his "insecurities"?

    Are you a dancer? I'm assuming you are since you said you were working in Vegas.

    Stripper girlfriend + insecure boyfriend=disaster.

    Also, he may love you, but he is not IN love with you, which is what loving someone in a relationship really is. Thus it being called BEING in love. He can't be in love with you; he hardly knows you! He needs to slow down, and so do you.

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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    run don't walk

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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Red flags all over the place with this guy, tread carefully, follow your instincts.

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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    J.D.:

    IMO, you should slow your roll on this one, for a few reasons.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    As I was walking by a blackjack table I noticed a guy staring at me....kinda
    creepy!
    This cat made you uneasy initially, although you warmed up to him after his friend broke the ice. Call me cynical, but I think that you shouldn't totally discount your instincts, which are the same vibes that help you recognize "creepy" customers at work.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    He told me he has girlfriends in every city and he doesn't save girls' numbers.
    Yeah, he's "only" 23 but he lied to you almost immediately. Are you sure he was being honest later on when he hit you with tears at the airport followed by the hard sell?
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I figured out that he is extremely insecure, and I could tell he had had his heart broken before. I also learned that he did not have any other girlfriends and he just said that to sound like a player.
    Again, what is he capable of saying simply to feel secure about himself? Can you believe that what he says after 7 days in your company will remain true if he feels emotionally threatened in some way?
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I had no expectations, but when he dropped me off at the airport, he told me he loved me and started crying....He said he never gets attached to girls but I was different. He called me the next day and asked me to move to L.A. and move in with him.
    Los Angeles is a short flight from Las Vegas, and vice versa. No visa or immigration issues, either! What is the rush? Is he/are you concerned that your window of opportunity might close?
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I don't know what to do now...I wonder if he is just chasing me because I didnt kiss his ass (he has alot of $$$) or what? I also don't know if this game and I am part of a bet or something, because I have never met a guy like this. If it is, he was a damn good actor at the airport!.
    I understand your need to read him correctly. You're already wondering if his sense of self-worth is tied to his money or if you're a gamble yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    What should I do? I am really afraid to let me guard down, as I always end up getting hurt. I don't know whether to believe him or not...what do I do?
    Have you considered what it is that's drawing you to him but creating confusion at the same time? Ask yourself: "What do I want from this man?" Love? Sexual intimacy? Money? New surroundings in L.A.? Excitement? Validation? Or do you just want to be able to trust him?

  8. #8
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Well if you've had lies, dramatics, and doubt all in only one week's time with this guy, that's a bad sign.

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    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I ended up staying a week,...I figured out that he is extremely insecure,...I also learned that he did not have any other girlfriends ...he told me he loved me and started crying....He said he never gets attached to girls but I was different. He called me the next day and asked me to move to L.A. and move in with him.
    ...i feel another www.voltaJD.info in the making.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    I don't like the sound of it. I try to imagine putting myself in his shoes, telling you I have a girl in every city. No matter which way I turn it in my head, it comes off as insensitive to you, and a silly kind of bravado to boot. The crying I don't get.

    I think you should consider your instincts carefully here--if you begin feeling that this is someone you can empathize with and save, I would reconsider it: I think you'll find this to be a complicated man and--a long guess, admittedly--a selfish one. Just taking this from a guy's perspective, I would truly be careful. Good luck.
    JK Jim

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    I'll reiterate.

    You're enjoying yourself despite what appear as lies.

    Enjoy it, take your time. Be safe and go with your gut. His REACTIONS to your ACTIONS will tell all over time.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    dont take this the wrong way, but you would be really naive if you believed that BS

    i know the kind of guys you're talking about

    you don't fall in love w/ someone like that
    you were probably the first girl to give him attention in a long time, and he is trying to clinch onto that...

    i have a friend who is like the guy you're describing , and its absolutely pathetic and horse shit

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    wants you to move in?

    sounds like he's had too many 'needy cookies' for breakast.

    i concur re: run don't walk.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Run Away!!!

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    No idea ... your story pegged my Wack-O-Meter. Gut feeling... something is seriously wrong with this guy.

  16. #16
    miss marina
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Cut off contact..this just spells DISASTER all over it..

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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX View Post
    ...i feel another in the making.
    Holy !!!

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    let's review here....

    1-He has his friend ask you to let him buy you a drink
    2-He tries to pretend to be a "player" be claiming he has "girlfriends in every city"
    3-After less than a few days with you, he cries when you leave, and asks you to make a major life-changing decision by moving to LA to be with him

    At this point, do you really need to be told to run away?

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX View Post
    ...i feel another www.voltaJD.info in the making.
    Oh man there's more updates to that story and that guy is just getting super fucking creepy. She's OBVIOUSLY running from him and he's talking about how she hurt him. Ugh.

    Advice? Run don't walk.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    He has girlfriends in every city, but "you're different" - That is a tremendous red flag waving in the air while riding on a red flare with a tornado siren screaming.

    Remember that initial gut feeling you had? You had it for a reason. Trust those gut feelings. Don't rationalize yourself into thinking "Well maybe I should give him a chance." The gut feeling is your brain figuring something out before you have a chance to talk yourself out of it.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    one word of advice ...................... NEXT !

    There's only one thing that's more dangerous than a would-be stalker - and that's a would-be stalker with a ton of money !

  22. #22
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX View Post
    ...i feel another www.voltaJD.info in the making.
    holy jeebus!

    did that sadsack saga just escalate to serial stalker/killer shit or what?

    i saw that story (even just as a lurker) and thought "poor pathetic/loser guy" and "poor stalked/scared girl".

    but now, that guy needs to be put away or put down!

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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    let's review here....

    1-He has his friend ask you to let him buy you a drink
    2-He tries to pretend to be a "player" be claiming he has "girlfriends in every city"
    3-After less than a few days with you, he cries when you leave, and asks you to make a major life-changing decision by moving to LA to be with him

    At this point, do you really need to be told to run away?
    I concur with the above, run fast not walk slow!

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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post
    holy jeebus!

    did that sadsack saga just escalate to serial stalker/killer shit or what?

    i saw that story (even just as a lurker) and thought "poor pathetic/loser guy" and "poor stalked/scared girl".

    but now, that guy needs to be put away or put down!
    huh? i saw a pic of a girl but didnt want to read all that....cliff notes? =P

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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guy advice please!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    huh? i saw a pic of a girl but didnt want to read all that....cliff notes? =P
    i believe it's the story of a PL who meets a dancer for a few weeks. she then "disappears" and he launches a crusade to find her.

    i believe he even posted here looking for her and even hired professionals to try and track her down.

    from what i read briefly on that site (i can't stand crap like that), he's now determined that she's (i.e. the dancer) now really a pornstar (named claudia or something). and is now sending that poor girl personal messages on that website but wording it to the original girl.

    whether the pornstar is really her or not (i saw a link to his arguement that it is her, didn't bother to click it) is besides the point. the guy has a very unhealthy/dangerous fixation for this girl (weewooweewoo, stalker-alert!). iirc, there's a clinical term for this kind of fixation..."wacko". this poor bastard's textbook imho.

    at least i think it's the same guy. he noted his search spans 3~4 years or something and iirc it was in massachusetts like this guy notes. either way, wacko-alert!

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