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Thread: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

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    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Like all good things, this post starts with a story.

    At work last night I approached a guy who had been ogling me, we'll call him "Dorkface." I chatted him up for a minute, and asked him if he'd like some dances. Dorkface was pretty buzzed but in no way inebriated, and he consented to come with me to the back room where we do our dances. We got there right as a song was beginning, and Dorkface claimed to "really like this song" and seemed really eager for me to start dancing RIGHT NOW. So... I didn't collect up front as I usually do. This was stupid of me, and probably should have sent up a red flag, but I ignored it. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'll admit that I've had a good run of non rip-off customers lately, and I've slackened the vigilance. This is a good lesson to collect up front, not just to me, but to everybody. Well, especially to me, because I needed to check myself. But anyway...

    After 4 dances I asked him for $120. He seemed to want to continue but I didn't want to stack MORE dances, and I knew I had already stacked more than I should have. And Dorkface, he looked at me like I had three heads. "Money?" He said, "Whaaaaat?" Gah. He had seemed normal, a young guy, cute for a frat-boy type, was a native English speaker, not conspicuously weird or crazy, had been drinking but not more so than the usual customer, etc., but he was refusing to pay me. His reason? "I thought they were free." Gah.

    But I have been a loyal disciple of SW for some time now and I have a whole arsenal of tricks I've picked up, so I swooped down and yanked off his New Balance sneaker. "Now that I've got some collateral," I said, "We can start negotiating properly."

    Thus, it is with gratitude and humility that I report that, when Dorkface was escorted out of the club several moments later, he was wearing both of his shoes.

    Thank you, Molly.

    Anyone else care to share a story about a SW tip working like a charm?

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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Hahahaha. My shoe! Did he ever pay you?
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Of course! Otherwise I'd STILL have his shoe

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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Hahahaha.
    Score:
    47 strippers
    0 cheapasses

    Free ha! Yea free ya turd. Free if I get to keep your shoe. Mwahaha. That would have been hard to explain. "Yea this stripper took my shoe because I was cheap" - humiliating for sure.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  5. #5
    Vivacious
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    That is a fantastic story! I love it. He would have ended up spending that money on a pair of new shoes and would have been humiliated. He made the right choice.

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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    That is awesome! I remember reading that tip from Molly, too - I have yet to use it, but I definitely will now that it's been road tested by another! Right on.
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Oh god, I love you. And I love Molly for coming up with this. Love love love!
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    I love this! I wish I had remembered this when that guy stiffed me for the three VIP's/ I would have plucked his glasses right off his face and than "started negotiating" hehehe. Love it!




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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Priceless I could have used this info last night. I got money up front for the first dance, but after the 2nd, I had to run up on stage. I didn't get the money for the second one up front and all he had was $100 bills.

    I did get it, but the shoe thing is, just priceless!
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    do you untie it first?

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Go you!

    You have some self-control! I'd have nicknamed him something much worse than "dorkface".
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Awesome story!!

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Wow. Why have I NEVER thought of this?

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    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Quote Originally Posted by austinatalie View Post
    do you untie it first?
    No, I just yanked like the dickens.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    Wow. Why have I NEVER thought of this?
    I wouldn't have come up with it on my own, either. That's why I had to devote a whole thread to my thankfulness for Molly's wicked big brain.

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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    Well, beinvenue cherie!

    I'm glad it worked out for you. Stripper vigilantes unite!

  16. #16
    Gypsy74
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    If they have their cellphone on a holster, that's always a good thing to use as collateral too

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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    ^^^ Seriously. That's what I do. Before I dance, I ask them to take everything out of their pockets that will hurt me/ that I will break/ that will scratch my sweet, soft skin. That's how I have collateral. I just grab their cell phones. Works every time.

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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    what a GREAT story!

    Love it!

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    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    You know, when he started acting sketchy I quickly assessed what I could easily grab. A cell would have been preferable (though less humiliating for him ) but the guy was wearing pants with cargo pockets. So the sneaker it was.

    I neglected to mention that when we were talking, he claimed to be a professional baseball player. Now, we get a handful of athletes at this club, as spring training happens in Florida, but I'm pretty sure spring training is confined to the SPRING, and right now it is JULY. Of course I googled him when I came home and he is not, in fact, a baseball player, major league or minor. Nope, he is just a Dorkface, and will so remain until the end of time.

    ETA: Molly... are those YOUR boobs?!?
    Last edited by teeth_of_the_hydra; 07-27-2007 at 03:39 PM. Reason: breast avatar

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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thank you Miss Molly Z. Moon! (Or: The skillz I've learned on SW)

    ^^ Aren't they amazing? The boobs? I just complimented them in another thread. Yowza.

    Last edited by teeth_of_the_hydra : Today at 06:39 PM. Reason: breast avatar


    I think the choice of shoe over valuables is great because it's less threatening. If a cell or wallet is taken, it could come off as stealing, even if tit-for-tat (heh), in his and possibly the bouncer and manager's eyes. The shoe is great just because it;s so absurd and totally unexpected, and it;s clear that you don't actually WANT his one shoe, for Gawd's sake - and yet you wield the bargaining power, since he's most likely not gonna stroll out of there without it.
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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