Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Don't Question a Drunk.

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Don't Question a Drunk.

    I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

    A half-gallon of 2% milk,
    A carton of eggs,
    A quart of orange juice,
    A head of romaine lettuce,
    A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
    A 1 lb. package of bacon.

    As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

    While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

    I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

    Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"

    The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

  2. #2
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Schwarzefornia
    Posts
    2,410
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.



    A friend of mine had a similar experience last week, Yek.

    She got onto an office building elevator in downtown Los Angeles with one other guy and pushed the button for the 20th floor. The male passenger then pushed the "18" button.

    As they reached the 18th floor, the man turned to her and asked: "Excuse me, miss, can I smell your feet?"

    My friend was instantly outraged, and she exclaimed loudly: "Absolutely not!"

    "Oh," the guy responded, as he shrugged and stepped off the elevator, "it must be your pussy then."

  3. #3
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    SW Counter Troll HQ
    Posts
    5,582
    Thanks
    1,589
    Thanked 1,674 Times in 1,043 Posts
    Blog Entries
    13
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha


    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    A 1 lb. package of bacon.
    Thats not very kosher. Sneaking in some southern comfort food while out of town?

  4. #4
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    Haha, I knew I'd recognized that scenario!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  5. #5
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    4,704
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    Fuck That! I don't even know what I would have said to that..but I would have slid a bottle of white zinfandel onto the conveyor belt for later. Good lord!

  6. #6
    Senior Member WoodyLV's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Beaver Country
    Posts
    190
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    lol

    i try not to make eye contact with any homeless/drunk.

    last time i did was a mistake i got yelled at in Subway because I didnt know the name of one of the righteous brothers and apparently this drunk thought i was a dead ringer for the guy.

  7. #7
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    6,699
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 20 Posts

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    that's my favourite joke, lol

    Feature costumes for sale!

  8. #8
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Schwarzefornia
    Posts
    2,410
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    Quote Originally Posted by WoodyLV View Post
    lol

    i try not to make eye contact with any homeless/drunk.

    last time i did was a mistake i got yelled at in Subway because I didnt know the name of one of the righteous brothers and apparently this drunk thought i was a dead ringer for the guy.
    I suppose you've lost that lovin' feelin'...

  9. #9
    Kaylinn
    Guest

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.


    Sorry...that's just funny. How rude!

    OTOH, I have had guys say to me, oh, I bet you have a boyfriend. I say, nope, I'm single, and the guy woudl say, no really, a beautiful girl like you? If your single, then what's wrong with you?

    Umm....men like you populate the earth?

  10. #10
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Dear God plz send money to Oregon K luv you bye
    Posts
    2,238
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    Its weird how people think they can analyze you based on your purchases. I've had people comment on everything from the fat content of my milk (Hey girl, you ain't fat, why are you buying skim?) to the antioxidant content of my general purchases. As in, "hey, I can tell you're laid back and fun, otherwise you wouldn't be buying XXXXX. I can totaly tell."

    But wait Yek, I thought you were in a relationship?

  11. #11
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    21
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    I love that joke, never gets old

  12. #12
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    Clarifying: It's a joke. This did not actually happen to me. My dad emailed it to me and I found it funny!

  13. #13
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Schwarzefornia
    Posts
    2,410
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Clarifying: It's a joke. This did not actually happen to me. My dad emailed it to me and I found it funny!
    I'd heard the joke before, Yek, but your set-up for the punchline was so flawless that you got me anyway! So, I responded with one of my favorite "insult jokes" in an anecdotal response format.

    I guess my joke-telling skills suck, huh?

    I'd better stick to sarcasm ...

  14. #14
    Senior Member WoodyLV's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Beaver Country
    Posts
    190
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    oh, well yek i thought this could happen in LA anyday...

  15. #15
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Don't Question a Drunk.

    ^^^ LOL, yeah, it definitely could! Hell, it probably did happen to somebody.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-11-2011, 05:29 PM
  2. I don't feel it. Sex question.
    By dollparts in forum Body Business
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 07-13-2008, 04:16 AM
  3. May I ask a question, please don't get mad
    By High_Heel_Lover in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 09-25-2007, 03:18 PM
  4. Ebonics Question. Don't laugh at me.
    By smartcookie in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 01-02-2007, 03:58 PM
  5. Yet Another BA Question... Don't think it's been asked.
    By Lysondra in forum Body Business
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-05-2006, 01:18 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •