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Thread: I feel so useless

  1. #1
    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default I feel so useless

    I called out again. after calling out the last night i was scheduled. And going home early the night before that.

    My dad has cancer, and he's going in for surgery tomorrow. I just couldn't bare the thought of spending tonight at a bar dancing instead of being with him.

    I feel so weak and useless. I just can't seem to pull it together and go in for a full night of work. I used to love going to the club, seeing my friends, dancing, feeling so good and happy and stable when I counted my money at the end of the night. It made me feel so capable for the first time in my life. This is the first job I've been good at, and now I feel like I'm fucking it up like everything else. I keep trying to tell myself that when I do go back I'll be better again. But I feel so ashamed when I call out, and I hate myself for not being able to pull it together.

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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    Please don't get down on yourself, your father is sick and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be at his side he is your father the club will survive without you. You will get through this and emerge stronger. Best wishes to you and your family.

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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    Don't be so hard on yourself. There is nothing wrong with taking time off from
    work due to the fact that a parent has cancer and is in the hospital. That is quite serious and working is just not as important. Keep your head up! Best wishes to you.
    Last edited by malloryknox; 07-25-2007 at 08:27 PM. Reason: typo

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    Remember, one reason many of us do this job is so we CAN call off when our family needs us. I took about 6 weeks off work last summer when my step dad was sick and when he died, and walked out of work twice when I got "the call." (One false alarm, and one not.)

    Do what you need to do. Your job will be waiting.


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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    You are doing the right thing to be with your dad at this time. I know this because eleven and a half years ago I had cancer and had surgery to get rid of it. Having my family and friends with me at that frightening time was what I needed most. Hang in there. Dancing will still be there when your dad is recovering, and you can dance then.

    And, I stand here as a living proof that a person can survive cancer. Your dad will be a cancer survivor, too.

    I will remember you and your dad in my prayers. God bless.

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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    I went through similar feelings when my dad was hospitalized--there are points where trying to hold down the job and be a caretaker hit you so hard that you actually feel demoralized all around--it is tough to deal with the medical problems and then tough at work too, because you're not as involved with it as you normally would be. But you will find strength in yourself; you'll find energy that you didn't realize you could have. And your instincts are right on the money. I trust that your dad will live a good long time. I would have liked to have had my dad for much longer, and I do not regret any work I missed being with him--I cherish those times, even with the difficulty that surrounded them, that I got to spend time with him.

    So good luck with your dad's surgery. If and whenever you have a chance, we would like to know how it goes. If you have any medical questions/concerns, maybe those of us who have been through it can offer some help or guidance.

    Thinking of you.
    JK Jim

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    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    The only day I EVER called off work my family called off for me- my Mom was going in for cancerpus tumor removal- Stage 4! DON'T feel bad! You only have one Dad and you can find a million jobs throughout your life! Be there with your family, that's what families are. Keep praying and thinking positive, and, most importantly; BE THERE!

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    Featured Member pinkpvc's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    You did what most people would do. When i worked in a shop at 16 a woman left early as her dad was in the last stages of his illness. In a call centre a girl plain walked out after hearing her dad had just died.
    Unless you have a desperate need for money right now i would take as much time off as you need.
    My thoughts are with you and your dad x

  9. #9
    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    Jut wanted to thank everybody for the encouraging words. My dad was so happy when I went to see him that night! I'm glad I did.

    He's recooperating now at the hospital. So, I'm going to try to go into work tonight. I think I'll be in a much better place. Thanks for the encouragement everyone.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    Good for you, hon. I will pray for your father's healing.



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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    I'm so glad the operation went well, and that you are feeling better!

    J.
    JK Jim

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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    Take care of yourself and be there for your dad. It's understandable that you wouldn't be able to focus on work at a time like this.

  13. #13
    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel so useless

    Please don't feel bad when things like these happen,it's normal to feel this way.I had a recent devastating death in the family and couldn't function for a long time and still not fully recovered.Couldn't work either.
    Take good care

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