Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Okay, I need advice...

  1. #1
    Banned rozz's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Taxachusetts
    Posts
    2,369
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Okay, I need advice...

    My ex (of two years) is an asshole. He also collects weapons, is incredibly self-centered, verbally abusive, the whole wonderful package. He emails me every so often, looking to get back together with me (a resounding hell no). His last email was 2 months ago.

    So my problem is that his current gf and I work the same retail jobbage, albeit in different stores (same district). She just called and left a message saying that she thinks we need to talk. So, what to do?

    I know that he demonizes his exes, that he has told her he's still in love with me, and that he's crap in a relationship. But I'm worried that if I meet with her and talk about this, she might not believe me, or tell him, and then he'd try to hurt me.

    Opinions???

  2. #2
    Glamazon
    Guest

    Default Re: Okay, I need advice...

    I would call her on your own time (not work time) from your phone to her own phone and tell her that you two have nothing to talk about. Why get involved? She's not your friend, you're his ex girlfriend who wants nothing to do with him, end of story.

  3. #3
    Veteran Member BmiWMT14's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2007
    Location
    In the Northeast
    Posts
    573
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Okay, I need advice...

    Boy that is a tough one Rozz. I would call her back, and see what she has to say. This could be her reaching out for help. I would listen to what she has to say, but would be careful as to what I said back to her.
    You Cant Quit until you try, You cant live until you die, You Cant learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie.You Cant Breath Until you choke,You gotta Laugh When your the Joke, Theres Nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive! Will you swear on your life, that no one will cry at my Funeral!
    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Yes please save me from this life of debauchery! You can all kneel down and worship at the Church of the Holy Clitoris to convince me!!

  4. #4
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    5,449
    Thanks
    74
    Thanked 165 Times in 119 Posts

    Default Re: Okay, I need advice...

    Or he is trying to recontact you through her, which would be pretty shitty but not impossible.

    I don't know. I guess I'd say give her like 60 seconds to get right to the point. If she can't, it's muck you don't need. You are under no obligation to answer anything or have an opinion on anything. Depending on what she wants, I would say just keep it short, sweet, and to the point. My guess is 99% of the best responses come down to "that's between you and him" or basic facts like "no, I'm not seeing him anymore and haven't for 2 years" etc. About the only thing that is contentious is what to do if he is being abusive to her and she needs validation to get out of an abusive relationship. In that case do what you feel is right.

  5. #5
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    USA, in a notoriously stripper-unfriendly city
    Posts
    1,780
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Okay, I need advice...

    I've tried to contact exes too, to validate that I was being treated badly. Tell her your experience, but keep it in a public place.

  6. #6
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: Okay, I need advice...

    okay, I was in the exact situation you are in, minus the guns part. But he was a very bad guy...one day I get a voice mail from the new gf, asking me if I would please call her back, she wanted to talk to me.

    Basically, she wanted to know how bad things had gotten, how dangerous he could be, warning signs, etc.

    Like you I was worried that if told her things that would piss him off and it got back to him, I'd be in some hot water. So I told her right off the bat "I'm not comfortable with this because you and I both know he has a bad temper, and that right there should tell you everything you need to know."

    She left him a couple of weeks later.

    This woman is probably worried and scared and is wondering how bad it really is and looking to you for sort of confirmation. I would cal her, but for sure watch what you say to her. Play shrink and let her answer her own questions.




  7. #7
    Banned rozz's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Taxachusetts
    Posts
    2,369
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Okay, I need advice...

    Okay, how's this sound?

    "I still don't feel safe talking about a relationship I ended 2 years ago, which should tell you something, in and of itself. You should know that I have never initiated contact, shown an interest in reconciling, nor do I regret leaving him. My life is better now. I wish you all the luck in the world figuring your relationship out, but I can't help you to do that."

    Good?

  8. #8
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: Okay, I need advice...

    I think that's very good.

    Leaving a bad relationship is hard enough, getting involved all over again is just plain silly.

    And my hubby always says "They call them ex'es for a reason".




  9. #9
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,053
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Okay, I need advice...

    I think your response is right on the money! THis is deffinatly shit you don't need



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  10. #10
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    5,449
    Thanks
    74
    Thanked 165 Times in 119 Posts

    Default Re: Okay, I need advice...

    Perfect rozz. Short, sweet, too the point, and most important of all, you've put the responsibility for her back on to her where it belongs.

  11. #11
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    718
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Okay, I need advice...

    I think you're handling this well, Rozz. Your letter will be a stark wake-up call for her, and one she won't be able to rationalize away. I was involved recently in helping a friend out of a situation like this (sounds like it could be the same guy). I brought her to a women's center and they were able to get her out of thinking somehow she could change the guy; she was tangled pretty deep with him, but she did get out of the relationship and has remained away from him: last I heard, he was on his way to prison. I hope the guy you're talking about, one day, meets up with the consequences of all his bullying.

    In the meantime--I am close to some of the people who run women's shelters in Massachusetts, and if I can be of help to you or this woman please feel free to PM me; I'll be glad to set up appointments or anything you need. There is a lot of help available.

    It is brave of you to write the letter.

    J.
    JK Jim

Similar Threads

  1. New to this forum! Offering advice and seeking advice
    By JusticeSpeaks in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-01-2007, 03:29 AM
  2. Advice
    By Natalie22 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 11-06-2006, 04:19 PM
  3. Need some advice...
    By Sinful333 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-04-2006, 08:40 AM
  4. Need Advice On A Name.......
    By Cali_Tiffany in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 08-13-2004, 06:18 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •