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Thread: Don't know what to do with my dad

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    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Don't know what to do with my dad

    My biological father is schizophrenic. He is currently living in his front yard, sleeping on his porch and bathing and going to the bathroom in his yard, because he can't get into his house. It's filled to the roof with junk that he 'has to have' because it helps him communicate with bugs, birds, and God. He is drinking all day and doing drugs as well. He cut the lines from the phone and electric companies because he thought they were trying to steal things from him. In short, he's sick to the point that he is going to end up dying in his front yard due to all the things that he is dealing with in his head. He can't exist in the 'real' world.

    I went to see him on Sunday, and it honestly broke my heart. I had not seen him or talked to him in 5 years, and I had written him out of my life. I do not like him as a person, because he has done some seriously fucked up things during my life, but I can't just let him live the way he is. It's not because he's my dad, it's because he's a human being. I spent 6 hours with him, and in that time I determined I could not let him continue living the way he is.

    I called the state mental health agency today and they called him to ask if he would go to treatment. He refused and they said that there was nothing else I could do unless I wanted to call the cops to go check on him. I called the cops and told them to go do a 'welfare check' on him. The cops went to his house, found him in his yard covered in dirt, drunk and high, talking to bugs and had him call me. He thought that I sent the cops to steal his ideas, and that now they had recorded his address on their GPS. The fucking cop said he was fine and that I should try to find somebody to live with him to convince him to go to a doctor.

    He is NOT FINE. He's effing crazy on a grand scale, and he needs to see a doctor, even if he doesn't want to. So, what can I do to make something happen? I don't care if it costs money, I just need some kind of options as to how to deal with this. I don't know who to call or anything, I just know he is not going to waltz into a doctor's office because somebody asks him to do it. Suggestions?

    ETA-The pics are of some of the things he has done to the house. It's filled to the ceiling with boxes and stuff, and he has barbed wire around all the windows to keep people out. All the plastic bags in front of his garage are filled with different pieces of junk that he can't get rid of. It's sad to see in person.

  2. #2
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad



    I'm assuming that the first person to talk to is the county conservator (they're in the phone book in the local government pages, or call the mental health crisis line.) They would send a social worker out to make an assessment. Then he would be given the help he needs.

    I'm PM-ing you....

  3. #3
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    Do you feel he is a threat to himself?

    If so, you can have him commited to a mental ward for at a least 72 hour hold.

    Take him to the hospital, or call an ambulance if you have to. They HAVE to see him, and they HAVE to put him in the mental ward for a min. of 72 hours to evaluate. If after the 72 hour hold they determine he is not a threat to himself or others, they can release him...but it sounds to me like they will keep him in there and adjust(get himstarted on?) some meds...and get him detoxed.

  4. #4
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    ^ Oh yes, I forgot about that. I had to do that with my mother a few times (she would neglect her health during psychotic episodes, then beg to be taken to the ER)...But she was consenting when she was taken.

    If he won't consent, you can tell the authorities he is making a health hazard out of his house by filling it with garbage (a fire hazard/ vermin breeding ground) and they will HAVE to act on that, but maybe not in a timely manner....

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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    It depends on the state. In some states you have to actively be a threat to yourself or to others before they will involuntarily commit a person.

    You could try talking to a family practice lawyer and see if you can have him declared incompetent with you being appointed as his guardian.

    Perhaps a legal complaint about indecent exposure?

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    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    If he won't consent, you can tell the authorities he is making a health hazard out of his house by filling it with garbage (a fire hazard/ vermin breeding ground) and they will HAVE to act on that, but maybe not in a timely manner....
    I was thinking about doing this, because he does have rats and roaches running around the house. It's gross. I guess if all else fails I can try and use this.

    And yeah, he won't consent to treatment, no matter what I say or do. He thinks he is fine.

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    Senior Member RandomUser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    That is such a tough call. I would try to find him an "advocate". Someone like him but on meds that does social work, or someone in social work with a relative in a similiar situation. Just getting a random person to interact with him won't help him much. I have found social and legal instititutions just prefer to lock and forget. But occasionally some person will surprise you. While it might sound silly, all the people I have met with mental difficulties are looking for love but getting rejected. The house is what is making him comfortable. Meds would help him, but he would have to be evaluated first. Having someone check on him is a good thing in case he ever needs medical help.

    Their is no clear solution to me. But if I was there I would try and talk his language and I would listen to him. I would only reinforce the basics of life. The value of good food, water, work, and air. I would repeat that over and over in parts of the conversation. It is exhausting. I spent 6 months with a person like but not quite like this once. I seemed to make no progress, but decades later he showed me that he did.

    The mental institutions I have been involved with while they did help stablize the patient, they were not good places to be. I do know several successful schizophrenics that function in jobs. They did it because they got on a medication and took it religiously.

    I'm religious, I'll hold a prayer for him that he sees clearly at some point.

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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    I think the others here know more about this than I do, Ginger, but I'll just add a thought--what do the neighbors think about all this? Maybe there would be some way to communicate with them, and for them to ask authorities to step in as well, to get him into a situation where he can get medication and start to feel balanced. It seems to me that if his situation is as messed up as it is, the neighbors would be glad to have you as an ally, and that ultimately it would add weight to the demand that the authorities do something to help--just a thought.

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I, too, will keep you in my thoughts.
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    wow, I wish I could offer some advice...I can't because I just don't know how to deal with this, but let me say that you have my sympathy. I hope for all the best for you.

    My sister is not quite as disturbed as your dad is, but she's got some mental problems. Tried to kill herself last year, has a coke problem, sponges off of my sick mother, and is basically a drug and alcohol riddled 38 year old who gravitates towards men who are like her. She was "Baker-acted" last year (a term in Florida that means you are, by law, committed to a mental facility for 72 hours) when she tried to kill herself, was offered community counseling, and never went.

    Good luck with your dad...I hope you keep us up to date on how this turns out.

  10. #10
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    I didn't think he needed to consent if he was a threat to himself, which he is, living like that.

    Another thing you could do, although I'm not sure exactly how...but proove he is incompetent in making his own health decisions, and get power of attorney, which makes you in charge of all his decisions..

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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    Quote Originally Posted by gingerlee View Post
    And yeah, he won't consent to treatment, no matter what I say or do. He thinks he is fine.
    I've watched one of my parents self-destruct, and refuse to accept the need for help. And even if you do get him in treatment for a period of time, it's very likely that at some point he will leave and end up no better off if not even worse. As hard as it can be, sometimes the best we can do is learn to accept that there are things we cannot fix.

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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    Quote Originally Posted by RandomUser View Post

    The mental institutions I have been involved with while they did help stablize the patient, they were not good places to be. I do know several successful schizophrenics that function in jobs. They did it because they got on a medication and took it religiously.
    Yeah, I'm a good example of a schizophrenic who takes their meds. Sometimes I hate having to take them, but I do it anyway. It doesn't get rid of all the sights and sounds, but it quiets them enough for me to go out and try and do things 'regular' people do. I know that I'll never be normal, but I'm trying to make the most out of the life I have been given, and I want that for him too. I think that may be part of the reason I don't understand why he just can't take some medicine. If I can throw back 15+ pills a day, why can't he?


    I just got off the phone with one of his county's mental health caseworkers and they said I'm going to have to petition the court to get him evaluated against his will. It's gonna be a pain in the ass, but I'm going to start that paperwork today.

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    Senior Member Ivory0211's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    I really don't know what to tell you, but I empathize with you. My dad is a paranoid schizophrenic, drug induced. I don't remember, but before he started taking his meds, I had heard stories where he'd cut holes in the floor because angels were living under it. Just crazy stories. He's homeless, and I thank God that he gets free prescriptions though a special program at our University hospital. Within the last year, my df and I have taken him into our house and provided him shelter. When he's taking his medicine, he's tolerable, but we have to treat him like a kid. He won't shower, clean up, or eat unless you tell him to. I'm not sure what got him in the hospital to start taking his meds. I'll ask family & reply back later. Maybe it can help you....

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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    Everyone's covered anything that I could have come up with. I agree that the best option would be to get POA and take over. although I don't think that just that will allow you to commit him, it might but I was always under the impression it was strictly for financial purposes.

    Definately contact his neighbors and see what they are willing to do to help about his living conditions.

    Good luck with it all and remember no matter how tough it gets you are doing what's best for him and your family.

  15. #15
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    I was going to see if you have a Baker act where he is...I had to do this several times at the end of my father in laws life.They would come get him, keep him in the hospital for awhile and straighten out his meds. WHenhe got home, he'd be clear headed for awhile.Then slowly he'd stop taking them again and when it got bad, we'd Baker act him again.

    Once you've done that several times and qualified professionals can evaluate what he is like on and off his meds....you can petition for permanent commitment.

    Sorry honey. Wish I had more to tell you...

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    try a back way around things. call the health department and report his home as a residential nuisence and health hazard, they will come inspect, and he will probobly be committed after he refuses to clean up.

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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry... I hope everything turns out well.


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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    Sorry you have to go through this Ginger. My grandmother had to do this with my Uncle many many years ago. She ended up petitioning the court to have him evaluated against his will. This turned out to be the best option for the long term. In the short term while you are filing the needed paperwork , it may be worth calling the health department for the living conditions.
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    like some of the others i don't really have any suggestions (although the POA and competency hearing sounds like the best route). but i just wanted to give you some support.

    good luck and hang in there!

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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    I wish I had some advice to offer you, but I don't. Sorry you are going through this and I hope you are able to resolve it soon.

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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    Oh honey, I am so sorry. Just wanted to send my support. Best of luck, it appears you got some good feedback here.

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    Arrow Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    Hi gingerlee.

    I sympathize - My heart goes out to you.

    I know you have a lot on your mind right now and I do not mean to add to your confusion, but I agree with everyone else on here when I say to familiarize yourself with your state Mental Health laws. Here's a link to the Model Law for assisted treatment in every state: Mental Illness Treatment Statutes & Analyses.

    gingerlee, in addition to the fact that one of the symptoms of schizophrenia, being a genuine biological disease of the brain, includes "lack of insight / loss of self-awareness," your father's being in denial of his illness might be further compounded by a neurological disorder known as anosognosia.

    Patients with anosognosia are moderately or severely unaware of their illness because of damage to specific parts of the brain (i.e. impairing self-awareness; This article abstract goes into more detail). Although anosognosia is not a condition limited to schizophrenia, it does affect about 50% of individuals with schizophrenia. Here's a pretty good outline explaining anosognosia in further detail.

    Treatment Advocacy Center .org is a great site for patients and family members to learn more about mental health conditions, treatment options and advocacy.

    I hope this helps gingerlee but most importantly, I hope things go really smoothly during this very difficult time for you. PM me if you need to.

    .

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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    I've gotten to this thread after everyone's mentioned the best ideas, so all I can offer is a and my prayers for your father, that he gets the care he needs.
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    Oh *hugs* gingerlee this made me nearly cry. Seriously it makes me mad how hard it can be to get a person help. My cousin is schizophrenic and my aunt ended up on one of those current affairs programs begging for someone to intervene and help him. He abuses drugs and the state mental health providers would not deal with him unless he was off the drugs and he was completey psychotic. It was just bullshit he needed to be committed and his mother even wanted him to be but no one would help.

    It's so sad that any person could be left in such a terrible state. As bad as his living conditions have become I doubt it would be half as bad as the terrible mental state that the poor man is living in.

    I really hope you can find some help for him.

    When my mother has bipolar episodes (she becomes extremely out of touch with reality and psychotic) it is very hard for me to get help for her. I tried to call and speak to her psychiatrist and the receptionist told me I could not speak to him without my mother's consent. I yelled at her "How am I supposed to get her consent, she is completely psychotic, she is out climbing over our fence in her pajamas and hasn't bathed in weeks!".

    Ahhhhhh the frustration.

    Please know you are always welcome to PM me if you need to vent coz I have been in very similar situations with my family.
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    Default Re: Don't know what to do with my dad

    I have a close family member who's schizophrenic. I sympathize with you, it's a rough thing to deal with.

    Go to court, have yourself made his guardian. In addition, you can have him committed against his will.



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