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Thread: Speaking of violent customers

  1. #1
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Speaking of violent customers

    So last week when some guy was stroking my hand and holding the wrist and then started absent mindedly pushing my fingers back. When I tried to take my hand away from him he gripped my wrist tighter - like his fingernails were white - and started pushing on my fingers harder. Still absent mindedly and seemingly without any deliberation. Obviously a strong subliminal desire to break some woman's hand. I yelled at him to let me go and... he ACTUALLY got hurt feelings. Like he actually got wounded and says "So that's how it is then?". I actually felt (I know, I know) bad for a second, just because the fucking tool looked so hurt and despondent that I yelled at him. But then it's like - You Fucking Moron. When were you just going to notice that you were about to break my fingers? Since just pulling my hand didn't work... like - just, you fucking moron! (I do not owe strange men who either deliberately or carelessly hurt me courtesy or niceness. I don't have to feel bad just because he looks sad.)
    And it completely ruins my night because then I'm looking around at all the guys and I'm super jumpy and I'm imagining that they all secretly and subconsciously want to break something.

    I guess this was a rant? I actually was so irritated by it, that I felt unable to discuss it when it happened. Like some girl in a movie of the week that was sexually assaulted all in the shower and shit - I was holding the hand under a faucet crying "Unclean! It won't come off!"
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    aw that sucks. stupid men.

  3. #3
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Thats really odd - he must have loads of issues...

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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    That really sucks. I hate that reaction when we respond with sympathy and guilt for making them feel bad---when they absolutely need to feel bad. Grrr. My knee-jerk reaction to people hurting me is always to respond with violence. It's bad. A guy tried to choke me once, and I panicked and grabbed back at his ear with my nails because he had my arms trapped under his, and I couldn't bat off his hands. I accidently drew blood and he was like "you cut me!!"...I had to console him and apologize...but he was choking me!! He was like "oh, that's what I like, I wasn't doing it for real" (his hands went around my throat as I had my back to him...that really alarmed me).

    I was new then and am so wary of almost all customers now...I am so paranoid. I don't know what the appropriate reaction to violence is. The social shaming is useful, but not when they turn it back on us to feel pity. Shame on. Your poor hand.

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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Like some girl in a movie of the week that was sexually assaulted all in the shower and shit - I was holding the hand under a faucet crying "Unclean! It won't come off!"
    I know it's not funny, but that shit cracked me up.
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    Banned Helle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Yep. Had a customer bit me on the arm last night, trying to act playful, and then get disgruntled when I yelped and smecked his arm.

    Strippers have pain threshholds too, ya know.

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    Veteran Member Cyndi08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    uh... weird

    He def has some issues, and I bet it wasn't as subliminal as you think. He was playing a game. Some guys get off on causing women unwanted pain.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    actually, its funny you should post this.

    i read and watch a lot of "true crime" stuff. i was recently watching a program about sociopaths and frontal lobe brain damage (common in people with violent behaviors). a doctor said one of the tests he does on patients is to have them hold out their hands palm down. the doctor then puts his own hands (palm up) under the patients hands, so that they are touching palms. he tells them to relax and be still and he starts gently running his fingers down from their wrists to the tips and repeats the motion slowly.

    he said that almost every single patient with frontal lobe damage will start slightly pulling his fingers back, usually without being aware of it at all. he said it's called something like grasp? response? also, almost every patient without frontal lobe damage will -not- do this, so it's a good indicator.

    thought you might be interested in that tid-bit.

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    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Sorry this happened to you Jenny. But where the fuck do these guys get off acting hurt?? Oh poor you, I won't let you do whatever you want to me...fuck off.

  10. #10
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Quote Originally Posted by LatinaRose View Post
    But where the fuck do these guys get off acting hurt?? Oh poor you, I won't let you do whatever you want to me...fuck off.
    I know! I actually have a kind pathological problem with feeling sorry for people even at times when it is completely inappropriate and/or unnecessary, and I think that just made me madder (like after that brief second of feeling bad) - that he had the nerve to look all upset, not because he was sorry that he was hurting me, but because I was "impolite" enough to point it out.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  11. #11
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Quote Originally Posted by LatinaRose View Post
    But where the fuck do these guys get off acting hurt?? Oh poor you, I won't let you do whatever you want to me...fuck off.
    Oh I KNOW!! OH..sorry I wont let you rape me, choke me, batter me around..whatever your pleasure is. I'm SUCH a bitch! What the HELL was I thinking not wanting to make a trip to the ER every night after work. I humbly apologize....I will now go flog myself like a good house elf....

  12. #12
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Oh I so should have said that - "I am not a house elf."
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Member Reiyth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Oh I so should have said that - "I am not a house elf."
    LOL We're showing our Hogwart's colors today are we?

  14. #14
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Back when I was a newbie stripper (2001) some dumbass clenched my hand HARD when I shook his- it hurt. (I was doing meet & greet for a staged bikini contest at a bar.) I squeezed back, hard. He looked upset & said, Why'd you do that?" DUH, m*therf*cker!

    Anyway, Jenny, you Canadians are too nice. You have no reason to give a polite response to such an offense.

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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers



    house elf, you guys are too funny.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Jenny men like that really give me the creeps. I think there are a lot of men who visit strip clubs that harbour deep resentment towards women and it frightens me to think sometimes what they would do to us if they were given half a chance.
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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    **Now officially creeped out, after prev. reading collen's thread about other weird behavior, good God!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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  18. #18
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Isnt it a full moon this week? That would explain the increase in freaks....

  19. #19
    Callyish
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Hmm... Jenny... you really do attract the weird people.... like stoner dude ahaha...

    Seriously though im sorry this happened to you Jenny

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Creepy, Jenny! poor girl!

    And it's weird how he was all spaced out doing it. Spooky.
    I had a guy who would pinch my flesh on my back. I told him it hurt, and he sort of smiled and did it again! wtf? I said, you're going to bruise me, he did it again so I flicked him really hard on his nose.

    He stopped, but seriously, what's with that sort of behaviour? Is it the moon? Maybe their just sick a-holes?




  21. #21
    Veteran Member pheno's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    I've had guys do shit like this and they always seem so shocked when you do it back or fight. I've had guys tell me I have anger management issues because I flipped out when he hurt me.
    I'm sorry, though. I used to be apologetic too. "I'm so sorry I got angry because you hurt me,"
    "By 'them' do you mean people like me?"

  22. #22
    Tart
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    That is fucked.

    Imagine if you didn't yell at him? shit like that makes you walk around looking at everyone as if they are a fucking serial killer

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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    He seems really like the manipulative type, trying to get away with everything. I would've demanded money right then and there, cause that is some messed up shit.

  24. #24
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    actually, its funny you should post this.

    i he said that almost every single patient with frontal lobe damage will start slightly pulling his fingers back, usually without being aware of it at all. he said it's called something like grasp? response? also, almost every patient without frontal lobe damage will -not- do this, so it's a good indicator.

    thought you might be interested in that tid-bit.
    So they are like, pulling their hands away from the Dr.'s? That is so interesting...too bad it's not one of those things you can test yrself on after reading about it

    That is more than a little disturbing Jenny as I think back on all of the times similar shit has happened to me, and I probably laughed because I was nervous. Just fucking yuck.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Speaking of violent customers

    That's the scariest thing about the idiot managers who don't want to protect us. This is the scum they invite....and then want a cut of the money!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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