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Thread: no support for healthy lifestyle

  1. #1
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default no support for healthy lifestyle

    I know we have been discussing quite a few diet topics this evening and I wanted to bring up the fact that I get very little support from my family and the majority of my friends to eat healthy. I live with my grandmother and she is obese. She knows I use to be overweight. Now, every female in my family is overweight. So, I am obviously fighting genetics here. It's like they shove unhealthy food in my face constantly. When I cook I cook without seasoning. If you want butter or salt then you can add it yourself. If I am cooking a meat I use certain spices, lemon juice or maybe a lite dressing or sauce but I don't add any butter, fats or salt. That being said, I do know how to cook the hell outta some good southern food but I choose to fix healthy meals instead. But we buy two different milks, I drink skim or 1% and she drinks 2%. She buys Sara Lee bread and I buy whole wheat. I also know that grandmothers do give food to show love but she knows and experiences what I must fight only a daily basis. I appreciate her immensely but I can't allow myself to get big again. The other females in my family and friends of mine that are overweight also try to shove food in my face particularly when it seems like I am reaching my goal weight, which is 105. With my small, petite frame I look best at 105 and my clothes fit lovely. Now, pushing 110 I barely can wear my clothes.

    I can ramble about this all night but do any of you other lady's struggle with this same dilemna?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    hang in there. i don't have this with my family, but I do with some friends and a boyfriend. Sometimes people feel threatened when they see you changing b/c they don't want to change their own behaviors. There is a payoff for them seeing you fail. They don't have to change.

    Stick with your healthy diet. It's harder with no support but you can do it.
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    Veteran Member Cyndi08's Avatar
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    I understand how you feel. If I let my family know about my diet, they are supportive but they constantly talk about it and make me feel like I'm dieting. I start feeling guilty if I decide to treat myself and that's no fun.

    On the other hand, if I tell friends they all say "you don't need to" blah blah blah, "here's a brownie" blah blah blah.... so you really can't win.. LOL

    Just hang in there. Do what is good for you and if someone asks say you prefer the lighter taste of healthy foods... it's easier for someone to accept that than to think you are suffering to eat healthy.

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    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    Heh. My grandmother tells me what a lovely figure I have when I'm about 20kg/44lbs overweight. At a healthy weight she tells me I look like death. Regardless, she's always trying to feed me up. I try to ignore it. It's her own neurosis and in no way based on the realities of what's medically healthy.

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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    I don't live with my family but when I go visit them, they cook lots of delicious but sometimes unhealthy foods. I just try not to eat too much of the bad stuff, but enjoy it in moderation. If they're your family, they should be supportive of the fact that you are trying to improve your lifestyle through a healthier diet.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    I know we have been discussing quite a few diet topics this evening and I wanted to bring up the fact that I get very little support from my family and the majority of my friends to eat healthy.

    I can ramble about this all night but do any of you other lady's struggle with this same dilemna?
    Oh my gosh... I so feel you on this topic. When I decline a cookie or tell people that I don't eat sugar, or whatever, it's like a personal offense. Some people don't understand because they don't pay attention to what they eat. Just remember though, although some people will try to bring you down because they feel like you secretly judging them for what they eat, most people are just trying to be good hosts and whatnot. Do your best not to make it an issue- you don't have to explain yourself and if you feel forced to, just say that you prefer the thing that you want over the thing they're offering.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    Blah, I'm on the opposite end. My family (well, not all of them... just my mom, dad, and one of my brothers) is always telling me to work out more and eat healthier. The only time they encouraged me to eat is when my ED got real bad.

    You just need to block all that out and focus on yourself. People close to you suck at viewing you objectively.
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  8. #8
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    People close to you suck at viewing you objectively.
    ^^I think that is so accurate. At their best they give you honest insight, but at their worst they project their own feelings about themselves onto you. I know how hard it is to do things without support, because I get impacted by the people around me and their habits, even moods. So it takes an awful lot of strength not to get "sucked in." Anyway, just be sure to distinguish your thoughts about yourself from the thoughts your grandmother has about you and herself. Listen to your own voice and keep eating healthy. Good luck!!

  9. #9
    Senior Member nekogirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    Yes, I get this. My mom eats junk, and my dad most likely eats too much. I'm not skinny anymore but still get told I am, and that I need to eat. Mom cooks me meat, tells me I need it- I'm vegetarian. Ah, hell.

    Also get the, "You don't need to be eating [insert healthful food here], you could eat a BigMac and fries!!!" from people. Yeah. I got at a good weight by eating crap, you freakin dope!

    It is hard, I feel for ya. Just remember, it's your body, your choice! Good for you for taking care of yourself!

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    I feel ya! My mom has fucked with my weight and my food as long as I can remember. When I was 5 she took me to the pediatrician and wanted to know why I was so fat. Once when I was in Jr. High and again when I was in High School, she got me involved in a diet program (Diet Work Shop and Nutra-System, respectively) and encouraged me to loose weight, only to fuck with me when I got near my goals. Even to this day she tries to give me meat (I'm a vegetarian) picks restaurants whee there is absolutely nothing for me, tries to force me to eat all sorts of sweets and goodies (including baked goods, which always ruin my face) and does all kinds of other weird stuff. She is now extending this to my son, acting like I am some kind of food nazi when I insist on limiting his sugar, and don't give him caffeine. Oh, yeah, and she begged me to allow him to eat meat, because being a vegetarian was freakish and some how not allowing him to have a normal childhood. (Now at 6 he is proud of being a vegetarian.)

    Hang in there. Just remember, i8ts your body, you get to decide what to put in it.


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  11. #11
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    My family also tries to stuff me full of delicious, rich russian food. I don't see them that often, so I don't mind at all.

    However, I do travel to Europe to visit my mother. She is ALWAYS overfeeding me and trying to get me to eat more. Last time, I totally came back from Russia/Croatia several pounds fatter. But I lost it all pretty quickly when I went back to work stripping.

    My family definately doesn't watch what they eat, and it shows. However, I was fortunate to get my dad's genetics. He has a big belly because he eats waaaaay too much rich food, but they rest of him is slim. When my uncle died a few years ago, he lost the gut in a month.

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    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    It's hard enough for me and I live alone. When I lived with my parents I remember gaining some weight when I'd come home from school at night and eat what my mom cooked for dinner. Finally I got on Weight Watchers and my mom understood that I had to follow my points so I'd eat modified versions of what she cooked. Like if it was red beans and rice I'd eat mostly beans or she'd leave the dressing off my salad.

    It is hard to stick to a healthy eating plan when everyone around you eats like crap. Shoot, I live in New Orleans, the city of FOOD, and the temptation is always there. What I do is I try my best to follow a healty eating plan all week and follow WW points so I don't eat too much and then I allow myself some cheating on the weekends. When my mom tries to call and see if I want such and such food during the week I just tell her that I'm trying to eat healthy during the week.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    Aw fuckit, I'd be the size of a house if I lived in NOLA. Katrina evacuees that couldn't get their homes rebuilt would use me as shelter. Damn, there' some good food over there!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: no support for healthy lifestyle

    It's just like I lost one pound and today I came home and she fixed a chicken pie. She said for me to take the crust off. I appreciate her cooking but I can't eat that stuff and stay thin.

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