Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 36

Thread: Nothing for my birthday :(

  1. #1
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,821
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 12 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Nothing for my birthday :(

    Ya'll know my birthday was yesterday, and my bf didn't get me anything! Not even a card! I'm not a shallow person and material things don't matter to me. But I know for a fact he had at least enough money to get me a single flower or a card or something. This is my 4th birthday being with him, and the only thing he's ever done for me on a birthday is get me a cake one year. I'm not mad and I haven't said much to him about it, but hell...I always go all out for his birthday and I never get anything for mine! My feelings are just a little hurt.

  2. #2
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Another Country
    Posts
    18,664
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 148 Times in 100 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    wtf... why? Does he have a reason?


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  3. #3
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,821
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 12 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Nope, no reason. When I say something I can tell he feels a little guilty but he won't say much.

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    I would definitely stop "going all out" for his birthday if I were you. Have you told him how disappointed you are? Men are often pretty clueless; you have to tell them what you want. Whether he then acts on your request tells you what kind of man he is.

    I hear you on the birthday disappointments though. Hardly anyone called me on my birthday, and no one in my family got me anything except my grandparents, who took me to dinner since they were out here visiting and gave me a very small cash gift. Kind of bummed me out. My other grandparents didn't even call me or send a card.

  5. #5
    Veteran Member pheno's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    215
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Happy Birthday - by the way. I hope your new year is full of good luck and happiness. (I'm sorry it seems like it's gotten off to a rough start.)
    "By 'them' do you mean people like me?"

  6. #6
    Senior Member Buggs's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    117
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Don't worry, LuckiCharm. Your bf will make it up to you somehow. You will see ! Personally, I love giving gifts to girls. It makes me feel good. I'm a gift-giving junkie, and it doesn't bother me a bit if I don't get anything in return.
    "Never believe anything you hear in a strip club." - The Other Owner

  7. #7
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    ^^^ Well, pin a rose on your ass.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Buggs's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    117
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    ^^^ I'd rather pin it on yours... and a rose too.
    "Never believe anything you hear in a strip club." - The Other Owner

  9. #9
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    3,354
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 57 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    e? Men are often pretty clueless; you have to tell them what you want. Whether he then acts on your request tells you what kind of man he is.
    Very true! That's pretty much the same thing I was going to say.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member Jeanette's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    569
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Buggs View Post
    Don't worry, LuckiCharm. Your bf will make it up to you somehow. You will see ! Personally, I love giving gifts to girls. It makes me feel good. I'm a gift-giving junkie, and it doesn't bother me a bit if I don't get anything in return.
    This post makes me laugh. Are you her boyfriend? How do you know he'll make it up to her? I think your gift giving is great, and encourage you to keep it up, but in this situation mentioning it doesn't really help Luckicharm's situation. Not all men are like you. I wish I could be as optimistic as you are.

    Lucki, Happy B-Day! I'd be pissed if I had a boyfriend for four years that forgot my birthday... it would make me wonder how much he really cared for me and my happiness, but sometimes I guess you have to spell it out for them. Did he at least wish you a Happy Birthday?

  11. #11
    Senior Member Buggs's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    117
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    It's just common sense. When you make a mistake, you apologize and correct it. It doesn't take a rocket surgeon to realize that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanette View Post
    This post makes me laugh. Are you her boyfriend? How do you know he'll make it up to her?
    "Never believe anything you hear in a strip club." - The Other Owner

  12. #12
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    1,944
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked 498 Times in 218 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    I had the same thing happen to me. I went all out for my ex-boyfriend's birthday, spent several hundred dollars, spent hours making him a nice dinner, baking his favorite cake...

    My birthday rolled around, and nothing. Not even a card. It wasn't like I was expecting a huge gift, but it would have been nice to have it acknowledged at least.

    I didn't make a big thing out of it, but it really hurt me. And let me tell you, it should have been the last straw. The fact that he could just let my birthday go without doing ANYTHING should have been the last sign I needed to show he didn't care.

    He ended up hurting me even worse later on, simply because he just didnt care enough, and didnt make me a priority.

    I'm sorry, but your guy not doing anything is NOT okay. EVERYONE knows you do SOMETHING for your girlfriend/boyfriend's birthday. There's no excuse for him to have not done anything. It would have taken him five minutes for him to pick up a cake or get balloons.

    A guy who really cares for you and appreciates you will make you feel like a princess on your birthday. My new guy (I found out accidentally) has been planning for two months (my birthday is in September). You deserve someone who will appreciate you and make you feel special.

  13. #13
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Buggs, did you read the original post in this thread? It's been four years in a row. He doesn't seem much interested in apologizing or correcting it. It doesn't take a "rocket surgeon" (WTF is that anyway?) to read a one-paragraph post and draw the appropriate conclusions.

  14. #14
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    1,944
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked 498 Times in 218 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Buggs View Post
    It's just common sense. When you make a mistake, you apologize and correct it. It doesn't take a rocket surgeon to realize that.
    Sorry, but a rocket surgeon?
    It's rocket scientist, or brain surgeon...not both haha.

    And not all people correct their mistakes. Some are willing to just keep hurting their significant other.

  15. #15
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Another Country
    Posts
    18,664
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 148 Times in 100 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    ^ Um, that was the joke. I say 'rocket surgeon' too. It's a joke. P:


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  16. #16
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,821
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 12 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Well, the thing is, it's not even that he forgot my b-day. He KNOWS my birthday, he just didn't do anything to prepare for it! Oh wow...he sent me a couple birthday picture comments on myspace, but a single flower only costs like less than 5$! He coulda just went to the store and bought it ON my birthday but he couldn't even do that!!! I don't really wanna say much because I really don't want him to think I'm being selfish or materialistic. How should I bring it up? I've just been kinda giving little hints, but I feel like I'm belittling him.

  17. #17
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,821
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 12 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Let me correct myself if I mislead anyone....he didn't completly blow me off on my birthday. He sent me a myspace message saying he loved me and he told me happy birthday, so he did aknowledge it. So, should I just accept that he doesn't buy birthday presents or something? He has told me before that his family never really celebrated birthdays. But shit, I told him before my birthday that all I wanted was a damn flower!!!

  18. #18
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    1,944
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked 498 Times in 218 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    He sent a myspace message?

    Your boyfriend sent a MYSPACE message for your birthday?

    Are you serious?

    Distant friends you talk to once a year send messages on Myspace for your birthday...not your boyfriend.

    That's just pathetic. It doesn't matter if he didn't celebrate birthdays with his family.

    You said you make a great effort for his birthday. So he KNOWS birthdays are important to you. Hell, he could have driven to the dollar store, gotten a card and some balloons, for under $5, and he couldn't even do that.

    It is NOT materialistic or selfish to want your birthday celebrated. You simply want to feel appreciated and special. You need to talk to him...just simply say you were hurt that your birthday went by without so much as a flower (which you asked for, so it's not liek he can say he was ignorant of what you wanted...he purposelly CHOSE to ignore your wishes...that's just disrespectful).

    Perhaps as a solution, you can make a special day for you in a week or so, kind of a "LuckiCharm's birthday take 2" where he can make it up to you.

  19. #19
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Another Country
    Posts
    18,664
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 148 Times in 100 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    It's interesting that the only place he wished you Happy Birthday was in a place where everyone could see it...


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  20. #20
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    The Wild
    Posts
    1,409
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 10 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    ...a "rocket surgeon" (WTF is that anyway?)

    hahahahahahahahahaha


    Blithe optimism can be so cute.

    Anyway, back on track:

    Lucki, TELL HIM THAT YOUR FEELINGS ARE HURT. I also think that you should suggest that he makes it up to you. Because here's what I'm thinking: if he's a good, stand-up BF, he probably overlooked your birthday because he genuinely thought it didn't matter. If you tell him that it DID matter, he'll want to do something for you. I don't think that you should expect diamond confetti or chatered jets or anything (because the chatered jet type of guy usually takes a fair amount of initiative), but allow him to make a gesture. If he does something and it's not halfassed (i.e., a nice dinner, some flowers), lay on the positive reinforcement, and try to emphasize how happy you are when he's thoughtful versus how sad you are when he's forgetful.

    However, if he screws up, then you guys should have a serious talk.

  21. #21
    Veteran Member Jeanette's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    569
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    So, even with you telling him what you wanted for your B-day he didn't get it for you?!? Ugh, men! He could of at least taken you out for a simple birthday dinner, or made you dinner(which is what I would have wanted).

    Maybe you could tell him that you would still like to have a birthday dinner/celebration with him, and plan a night. Let him know that it is important to you, and tell him you want to celebrate your belated B-day with him. It could be that he didn't realize it was important to you combined with the fact he's gotten away with doing so little in the past. I have decided to be proactive about my own birthday celebrations instead of leaving them in someone else's hands and possibly being disappointed.

  22. #22
    Veteran Member jannisary's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Eastside - St.Louis
    Posts
    560
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked 117 Times in 68 Posts
    My Mood
    Mellow

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckiCharm View Post
    This is my 4th birthday being with him, and the only thing he's ever done for me on a birthday is get me a cake one year. I'm not mad and I haven't said much to him about it, but hell...I always go all out for his birthday and I never get anything for mine! My feelings are just a little hurt.
    Well maybe your feeling should be more than just a "little hurt." It is not hard to get a card, flowers, a gift of some sort; if he doesn't think you are worth that small amount of effort.....

  23. #23
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,821
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 12 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    So how exactly should I bring it up in a casual way how upset I am?

  24. #24
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    You are upset. Why be casual about it? I think you should sit him down and calmly say something like, "Listen. In case you can't tell, I'm pretty upset that you ignored my birthday for the fourth year in a row. I told you specifically what I wanted, and it wasn't much. I wasn't asking for a major production, I just wanted some indication that I'm special to you. I want you to tell me why you ignored me when I told you expressly what I wanted."

    His response will indicate how you should proceed from there.

  25. #25
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    1,944
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked 498 Times in 218 Posts

    Default Re: Nothing for my birthday :(

    You seem extremely concerned about keeping it light and casual. And I understand that; you don't want to seem like a demanding bitch.

    But this isn't a little mistake. This is a pretty big mistake on his part.

    I would tell him, quite seriously, that you need to talk. Then explain to him that by him not celebrating your birthday, even after you mentioned specifically what he could do for you, really hurt you. You can say that you understand that birthdays weren't a big deal for his family, but for you, birthdays are an opportunity to express how grateful you are that your significant other was born. Explain that you weren't expecting anything big...you weren't demanding pricey jewelry or an island cruise, but some little tokens and expressions of affection and appreciation are expected and, quite frankly, necessary to make you feel appreciated in your relationship.

    Then say that, to make things right again, that you want to have a belated birthday, so that he has another chance to make you feel valued and remembered.

    If he acts like a dick, he just isn't worth your time. The above explanation and request is very reasonable, it doesn't include yelling or insulting. It simply explains that yes, you are hurt, why you're hurt, and what can be done to fix the situation. A good guy will respect you for it, and will make the necessary actions to make things good.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Its my birthday!!
    By pink_bunny in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 07-29-2011, 04:49 PM
  2. happy birthday to mehappy birthday to me
    By kryssy in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 07-08-2008, 11:48 PM
  3. Its my birthday!!!!
    By wildcherry2002 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-10-2007, 12:16 PM
  4. It's My Birthday!
    By sc0101 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-17-2007, 09:44 PM
  5. Not Just my birthday....
    By BrunetteGoddess in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 01-29-2006, 02:10 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •