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Thread: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

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    How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    What I mean is, say you go out looking for a guy, you go out to the bar, just to do whatever and people ask what you do, are you open with saying you're a dancer to a complete stranger when not working? I want to be, i'm not ashamed of my job, it's just the stereotype that people have put out there for dancers, when most of us do it for a regular job and are the same as anyone else when away from the job. There are the girls that do the drugs and have sex in the VIP room and are sluts, but from what I have seen in the clubs I have worked at the majority of us aren't. What i'm trying to say is, i'm a single female, I go out and talk to guys, they're like what do you do, i'm like I waitress. I don't want to tell a guy I am interested in cause then I think he's just gonna judge me and then his whole attitude change cause he thinks he's just gonna get sex cause of what I do and won't care for more. I have told guys, and once I did, it seems the way they looked at me just completely changed. I think I should stop caring so much about what people think, if I want to find a man, he''s just gonna have to deal with and understand what I do for a job and that it is just a job and if they can't accept it then fuck them and everyone else to that looks down on me because they aren't a bit better than I am I don't care who they are. I wanted to let this out and see how other people think and feel on this.

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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I'm in a relationship so I don't have to worry about that...but I wouldnt want to be with a guy that looks down on me because I dance, so I wouldnt bother pursuing a guy that thought that way in the 1st place.


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    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    When I first met my husband(and this is very recent), I was working with him on the Ambulance for a 24 hour shift. I didn't tell him what else I did at first becasue I wanted him to get to know me first and have a good idea of what kind of person I was. I didn't want to be judged for being a dancer. So when I did tell him, he didn't believe me. He came into the club I said I worked at to see if I was bullshitting him. Sure enough, there I was with a smile on my face....and little else! He accepted it and realized that not all dancers are drugged up whores. It changed his perspective, and we married soon after. And we are living happily ever after!

    Point to my endless rambling.....Let the guy of interest get to know you for who you are and what your about. Then tell him you dance on the side for extra money. If he really like/cares for you, his view of you won't change.

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    Veteran Member Alia_of_the_Knife's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    Personally speaking, I wouldn't, because I think it makes you prime stalker bait.

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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I have a bf also, but if I am at a bar talking to people I will tell them that I dance. Most men don't have a problem with it.

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I'm very open about it. My other job(s) coworkers know, friends, etc... hell, I even have a tank top that says 'stripper' on it that I love... as well as shirts and hats from past clubs... I know not to be so open around specific people at specific times... family, church, etc... if only to not cause drama, but I'm otherwise very proud of what I do so....
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    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I'm very open about it as well. I'm proud of who I am and people who hate can just take their judgemental asses elsewhere.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I think it's in how you present it.

    If you don't have a problem with what you do, and act accordingly, then people who feel the same will show that to you. If you meet somone, they say "what do you do?"
    you say, "I'm a dancer."
    1. "Woah! No kidding?! Like topless or nude or waht? Could I come get a dance form you?" K, he's a loser, move on....
    2. "Nice, how long have you been doing that." Obviously being a dancer isn't a big shocker to answer number 2.

    I don't mean to get long winded about it, but really, it IS all in what you project. If you act liek it's some big deal and something you don't liek talking about people will pick up on that and that's what you'll attract. But if it's no big deal to you, then vice versa, you should be able to meet people who don't sweat it either, or at least weed out the ones who are tards about it.

    Geez, did any of that make sense? It made sense in my head, maybe I should go back in there.




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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I just don't like sharing it when casually socializing because it gets me too much attention. Like people crowded around wanting to know all about it. I get tired of explaining my job to people over and over and hearing the requisite "but you seem to smart/nice/innocent/whatever to be a stripper!"

    If its a guy I'm interested in dating, I just tell them. Its part of my life and I'm not ashamed of it.

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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I'm fairly open about it, if someone asks, as long as it's not around family or my internship. To them, I bartend.

    No one believes me in NJ, actually. I had one guy say he could only picture me as 'the little stripper who could' AKA not sexy at all. Jerk. Oh, the ideas they have around here.

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    Veteran Member betterthaneden's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    i don't tell. i just don't want the questions/drama that surrounds it at all, plus i don't want it to get back to my family.

  12. #12
    Gypsy74
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    As soon as I get to know a person well enough that they know the gist of what I'm about- that I'm a student, a normal person, all the things that make me "me" without the "stripper" label, I will tell them I dance. Since I'm in a town where this is common, and I'm starting all over with new people, I'd rather have friends who support and are open minded about what I do.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I lie, lie, lie until I get a good sense of someone. Even my boyfriend's roommates think I'm a waitress. I don't need the judgement and trouble.

    It's pretty hard to be a single dancer and find a decent boyfriend "out there" in the dating scene. I had the same problem until I met someone who knew off the bat I was a stripper - I met him in the club! It's been nearly 3 months and he's the most decent, sweet guy I've ever met.

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    Senior Member lilmisscharisma's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    the way i look at it.... if the person is going to be that judgemental about it without knowing me then i don't want to be around someone who is going to stereotype someone that quickly... so generally i don't give a damn.

    I recently told a guy that I was really intrested in that I was a dancer....

    him- so what do you do for a living
    me- are you going to judge me if i tell you?
    him- no, lemme guess. you're a dancer?
    me- yes i am
    him- why did you think i was going to jugde you
    me- most people don't understand the fact that dancers are just normal girls... well most of us. when i leave work i leave my job there. i'm just a normal girl who wears pj pants all the time, loves cereal, and is addicted to quarter machines.
    him- wow i really liked the way you said that...

    everyone generally claims that they don't care what other people say about them... but think of it this way... if someone is going to label you and judge you just because you tell them that you dance... is that really the type of person that you want to be with?
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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    Even people who you think are cool and trustworthy shove it in your face when the mood goes sour. Even though the CLAIM to be ok with it, they really aren't, and have internalized the stereotypes for way to long. I was fucking shocked when two males who I thought knew the real me, actually were going on and on assuming I had been molested by my daddy and such.........

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    Callyish
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I don't run around screaming 'im a stripper!' but at the same time I don't really hide it either... I mean I lie to those I know I need to lie to such as if im dating a guy from a conservative family.. I just tell his parents I teach pole dancing for fitness *shrug*.

    When I meet a guy I can't really lie because of the fact that im rather 'out there'. I mean my picture is in newspapers advertising me headlining clubs... I get phone calls from agents and well I mean if I lie when I first meet him then come clean(because I will have to with all the traveling I do) its going to make him think I lied about everything else and just kill any trust factor.

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I'm open with almost everyone, but there are some I feel I have to hide it from. I wish I didn't but realistically, I'd be missing out on opportunities and relationships if I was honest with everyone. So I live the dual life.

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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    i don't tell people, but I'm not looking for a boyfriend either. Too much hassle!

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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I don't broadcast to the world that I dance. I only tell people whom I feel are open minded and liberal enough to accept it.

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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by Callyish View Post
    I don't run around screaming 'im a stripper!' but at the same time I don't really hide it either... I mean I lie to those I know I need to lie to such as if im dating a guy from a conservative family.. I just tell his parents I teach pole dancing for fitness *shrug*.

    When I meet a guy I can't really lie because of the fact that im rather 'out there'. I mean my picture is in newspapers advertising me headlining clubs... I get phone calls from agents and well I mean if I lie when I first meet him then come clean(because I will have to with all the traveling I do) its going to make him think I lied about everything else and just kill any trust factor.
    Thank you for typing that out for me, because it was exactly what I was going to say.

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    Senior Member nekogirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I tend to lie- I waitress/bartend. I don't want random fuckers from my town showing up at my club. Too much drama. Don't want it getting back to my gossipy neighbors- especially one, he freaks me out too much as is. If I choose to settle here, I want to be able to disclose that part of my life when and to whom I choose- not to have it already broadcast out there.

    In fact, I'm about to 'get a job' at my co-stripper's 'place of employment'- as a waitress at a private club! So simple, but she's a genius for the idea

    The girls I've went on dates with since I've been dancing have known, though, and they tend to be cool with it.

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    Veteran Member luckischalk's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    I usually don't tell people. I did tell my fiancee on my first date with him that I was a dancer and he was ok with it.

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    Veteran Member Fionaver's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    Back when I was still dancing, I used to hang out at one particular coffee shop alot. Inevitably, some old lady would end up sitting next to me and we'd get to talking.

    HER: So kind of work do you do?
    ME: I'm a dancer.
    HER: Oh! You do ballet?

    ME: . . . Not quite.

    But it really started to bother me how people would react when I told them. It was as if I was automatically filed in the "dumb whore" category. And I think that I started to internalize that label, to lose track of the fact that I had so many other facets to my personality - especially after I quit school.

    BTW People still think that when I say that I used to dance professionally that I was a ballerina. Go figure.
    Last edited by Fionaver; 08-07-2007 at 10:58 AM. Reason: sorry - typo changed things - it's "lady" not "laddy"

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    If a guy will judge you for your job, then you don't want to date him anyway. I've always said that telling them up front is the best way to weed out the wheat from the chaff. If they react negatively (judgemental) or stupidly (all eager to get in your pants) then you can write them off and move on. This eliminates alot of potential dates, but it's better than wasting time with guys who can't deal.

    I have recently broken off from a 2year relationship and engagement because the guy ultimately couldn't handle me stripping. Clearly we shouldn't have been together in the first place. For whatever reason, I went against my own principle and didn't tell him at first, and I should have. If I'd told him up front, we wouldn't have gotten into a doomed relationship and wasted 2 years of our lives on something that would never work out.

    So, tell the guy up front. If he bolts, fine, he's not right for you. If he suddenly gets all friendly and flirty and eager, tell him to fuck off. If he acts like he's all cool with it but seems fake, tell his fake ass to fuck off too. You want a guy who TRULY is ok with dating a stripper. They are extremely rare, but they are out there. I've dated a few.

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  25. #25
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: How many of you as exoctic dancers make it public that you dance?

    Im totally open about what I do. I dont think anyone in Australia cares - and even if they did I couldnt care less (-:

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