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Thread: Pogo's Rants

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Scotty Pogo's Avatar
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    Default Pogo's Rants

    It's time y'all got to know me a little. After all, I've stepped up and shown off a shirtless view of my fat body, now it's time to see what the cogs in my head are churning out when I get time to think. I'm a Carlinist, and I like to rant. So here they are. Shit straight from my head. Read at your risk. Reply if you want. Add your own if you desire.
    Why So Serious?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Scotty Pogo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pogo's Rants

    Here's some people I'd like to see beaten relentlessly with large flaming tube socks filled with loose change: the assholes who pay for shit with quarters. Especially in a bar.

    C'mon folks. Nothing is that necessary that you have to scrounge up a bunch of change from the couch cushions. It's fucking ridiculous; especially when it comes to drinks in a bar. If you're going to a bar with nothing but quarters in your pocket, seriously find help. You've got troubles. Christ, borrow money from a friend and pay him after you've been to the bank. If you haven't got any friends, perhaps you should consider that before you dump a handful of quarters in your pocket.

    If you haven't got a bank account, then it's time to step into the 21st Century. The threat of Y2K is over, the stock markets aren't going to crash devastatingly, and if they should, you're insured up to something like $100,000--which you wouldn't be too worried about anyways if all you've got is pocket change. Besides, if you save money in a bank, eventually you'll make some. And, in a lot of cases, they'll give you a check book and an ATM/Check card, which any half-retarded nine year-old with responsibility can handle. If you can add and subtract, you can handle a fucking check book. As an added bonus, banks will turn that precious silver of yours into easy-to-carry dollar bills at no extra cost! What a fucking deal!!!

    The next time you step out of that house/apartment/love shack with a bunch of quarters, stop, think about how dumb you are, turn around, and take a nap. If, after your nap, you still feel like spending some change, quit life.
    Why So Serious?

  3. #3
    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pogo's Rants

    Yet another reason why I think you're fuckin' awesome, and why i subscribe to your myspace blogs. BTW my husband luvs 'em too. I always read them to him and his response is "Damn, I gotta met this guy! "

  4. #4
    Veteran Member Scotty Pogo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pogo's Rants

    Why is it bachelor parties seem to think they're something special to the club? Seriously, I just had a douche come by asking if his party could get in free. I told him the bachelor does, everyone pays the cover. He says "We got like 6 guys coming."

    ....

    So? 6 guys?! Well, shit.... let me get the hundred or so people to step aside for you and your 5 friends....

    Then he asks me if I know a door girl who hasn't worked here in about a year. Says she'll vouche for him. GREAT! 6 bucks please.

    Douchebags.

    EDIT: It only made things sweeter when I watched this moron get kicked out.
    Last edited by Scotty Pogo; 08-04-2007 at 11:36 PM. Reason: Hilarity followed.
    Why So Serious?

  5. #5
    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pogo's Rants

    Quote Originally Posted by Scotty Pogo View Post
    Here's some people I'd like to see beaten relentlessly with large flaming tube socks filled with loose change: the assholes who pay for shit with quarters. Especially in a bar.

    C'mon folks. Nothing is that necessary that you have to scrounge up a bunch of change from the couch cushions. It's fucking ridiculous; especially when it comes to drinks in a bar. If you're going to a bar with nothing but quarters in your pocket, seriously find help. You've got troubles. Christ, borrow money from a friend and pay him after you've been to the bank. If you haven't got any friends, perhaps you should consider that before you dump a handful of quarters in your pocket.

    If you haven't got a bank account, then it's time to step into the 21st Century. The threat of Y2K is over, the stock markets aren't going to crash devastatingly, and if they should, you're insured up to something like $100,000--which you wouldn't be too worried about anyways if all you've got is pocket change. Besides, if you save money in a bank, eventually you'll make some. And, in a lot of cases, they'll give you a check book and an ATM/Check card, which any half-retarded nine year-old with responsibility can handle. If you can add and subtract, you can handle a fucking check book. As an added bonus, banks will turn that precious silver of yours into easy-to-carry dollar bills at no extra cost! What a fucking deal!!!

    The next time you step out of that house/apartment/love shack with a bunch of quarters, stop, think about how dumb you are, turn around, and take a nap. If, after your nap, you still feel like spending some change, quit life.
    LMAO, I do shit like this JUST to piss people off. It's a lot of fun

  6. #6
    Veteran Member Scotty Pogo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pogo's Rants

    That's just mean, Blade. Mean.
    Why So Serious?

  7. #7
    Veteran Member Scotty Pogo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pogo's Rants

    Here's a group of people who need to be uncomfortably sodomized with a fire hose going full blast: people who assume I'm pissed off when I'm not.


    Is there some law out there that says I need to be smiling when I'm in a good mood? If there is, fuck that law. I know it's hard to believe after reading many of my blogs, but I'm in a good mood probably 95% of the time. That's why I write these things- they're therapeutic. I feel good laughing at the imaginary random death of ridiculously stupid people. And if I can get you to laugh with me, it's even better.


    Besides, what concern is it of yours if I am a little pissed off? You know what the worst thing to say to a pissed off person is? "Why are you pissed off?" Chances are that person is trying to calm down and catch their senses. You butting in with your curious nose is only going to make them relive the experience and probably piss them off even more. Sometimes, shit just isn't your business.


    Last, but not least, accusing a person of being pissed off when they're not pissed off is a sure way to piss a person off. Just because a person isn't dancing around throwing flowers at every person they see doesn't mean they're pissed off. Sometimes, I do this crazy thing where I focus on shit. It's strange, I know, but I like to know things that are going on when I need to. When I'm focused, I'm stoic (all you mood critics can look that one up). Other times, I'm sleepy. Have you ever enjoyed being tired? No? You mean you don't look overjoyed when you want to sleep? Well, fuck me retarded... ME TOO!


    The next time you assume I'm pissed off, how about trying something different: ask me how I'm doing. You want information, try asking it in an intelligent way, buncha goddamn hippies.
    Why So Serious?

  8. #8
    Callyish
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    Default Re: Pogo's Rants

    *looks at Scotty*

    You in a bad mood? Why you so pissy?

    *ducks and runs*

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Pogo's Rants

    Quote Originally Posted by Scotty Pogo View Post
    Here's a group of people who need to be uncomfortably sodomized with a fire hose going full blast: people who assume I'm pissed off when I'm not.


    Is there some law out there that says I need to be smiling when I'm in a good mood? If there is, fuck that law. I know it's hard to believe after reading many of my blogs, but I'm in a good mood probably 95% of the time. That's why I write these things- they're therapeutic. I feel good laughing at the imaginary random death of ridiculously stupid people. And if I can get you to laugh with me, it's even better.


    Besides, what concern is it of yours if I am a little pissed off? You know what the worst thing to say to a pissed off person is? "Why are you pissed off?" Chances are that person is trying to calm down and catch their senses. You butting in with your curious nose is only going to make them relive the experience and probably piss them off even more. Sometimes, shit just isn't your business.


    Last, but not least, accusing a person of being pissed off when they're not pissed off is a sure way to piss a person off. Just because a person isn't dancing around throwing flowers at every person they see doesn't mean they're pissed off. Sometimes, I do this crazy thing where I focus on shit. It's strange, I know, but I like to know things that are going on when I need to. When I'm focused, I'm stoic (all you mood critics can look that one up). Other times, I'm sleepy. Have you ever enjoyed being tired? No? You mean you don't look overjoyed when you want to sleep? Well, fuck me retarded... ME TOO!


    The next time you assume I'm pissed off, how about trying something different: ask me how I'm doing. You want information, try asking it in an intelligent way, buncha goddamn hippies.
    My God, have you been inside my head? I rarely smile and people ALWAYS assume I'm pissed off or anti social. The homeless guys however wont stop talking to me, could be they hear my voices too.......

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