It's time for the Little League World Series again, so for those not initiated into the world of baseball, and with apologies to David Letterman, here are a few tips on.....

How to tell if that Little League pitcher is over the maximum age.


1. He's on a first name basis with all of the Hooter's waitresses.

2. Takes a beer and a cigarette out to the mound.

3. When batting, asks the opposing team's catcher, "How's YOUR wife and MY kids?"

4. Is overheard asking a teammate, "Check the blonde on the third row. Think they're real?"

5. Has a different understanding of the term, "Pitcher's Rubber".

6. While scratching himself is overheard saying to his crotch, "Patience, boys, the game's almost over."

7. The sponsor on the back of his jersey? The Galloping Jugs Gentlemens' Club

8. Tells his teammates, "After the game, let's go out to the airport for the free strip search!"

9. The strip search turns up a container of Vaseline, a fingernail file, some thumbtacks, and a Gaylord Perry baseball card.

10. Has a three-day growth of beard and a wife and two kids in the stands.