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Thread: patronising bastards

  1. #1
    Featured Member pinkpvc's Avatar
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    Default patronising bastards

    Maybe i get wound up easily, but i have found myself getting more and more annoyed at a certain type of customer.

    One guy had a friend buy him a nude dance. He sits for half the song not even looking at me while i do my stuff then tells me to stop.
    "What do you want to do with your life?" he asks
    "well i'll wait til i finish uni and decide then"
    "YOU go to uni? yeah right. You should get yourself a proper job"
    "well actually i own my own busine..." *he cuts me off*
    "i mean i have been working hard for 30 years and barely making enough to get by and in you come and make money off guys like me for doing very little" - remember he didn't even pay for this dance
    "well i'm sorry you feel like that it's not as easy as it looks"
    " You tell yourself that. Listen you should get yourself an education and start thinking about the future" and gets up and leaves

    God i almost punched the wall in a rage!
    then theres the guy's who say "whats your job?" and when i say "this" they laugh for five minutes straight.

    The ones who go on about how they are studying for a degree in economics (why always economics? Not saying anything bad, just noticed theres a lot of economics students in SC's) and I say "Interesting. I am studying computing myself"
    and then they come out with "pfft, everyone can work computers. what do they do, ask you to type your name into google?" (yes can you believe someone actually said this!).

    And then you get the guys who put on that "poor dumb stripper" voice and talk to you slowly using small words that you will "be able to understand"

    I'm starting to think i should give up on the honest approach and tell them i strip therefore i am (and wtf is so wrong with that anyway! It's a job like anything else. And i'm sure we do more work than a lot of people out there)



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    Veteran Member betterthaneden's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    i've SO had those customers before. i bet we all have. i think it's funny to use big words around guys, and sometimes they look at you like 'holy shit, she's not dumb?! i thought they all were?' hahaha, i get the biggest kick out of it.

    and to avoid the situation you described, i just tell them i have another job too. (i do, actually, but i think id say this even if i didn't, just to not deal with it, ya know?)

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    The actual fact is that I do DO this as my main form of employment and don't go to uni or anything. Even then when you actually do this as a full time business you STILL get these asshats.

    BTW, we do DO alot more work than alot of other people out there.

    In the end, we just have to learn to somehow ignore them. It is their issues not mine. I have no issues with this business.


    Or else make up some bs about how you do have another job.


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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    I like to turn it back on them. First, I'll use longer words to stun them and then I belittle them, their town or their job or marital status. I won't ingest their bile. I just mirror back what they think of their lives and move on.

    Most of the guys who do this are cheap losers who feel insecure and you wouldn't have made money from them anyway. It's better to see those comments as a red flag. STOP answering the donkeys questions and steer the conversation back on them. Don't ever feel like you have to justify your life to one of these random idiots. You don't know this man! Why would you care what he thinks? Where are his qualifications to judge you? He's not your income stream--his FRIEND is.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    hmm... what helps me is to either say something really outrageous and ridiculous so they realize they are stupid, or, i just agree with them a lot and try to see how sarcastic i can get without being caught. then i smile. it almost looks like flirting to these guys. the ones that came to be fucked with eat it up and buy more dances. the onces that are wasting my time, don't, and i just walk away. it puts me in control of the conversation and helps me keep my frustration down.

    i don't ever try to reason with them. it's generally like trying to reason with unruly dogs or very small, angry children. impossible.

  6. #6
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    I wish guys would stick to evaluating the T and A, and maybe how sweet and charming I am. When guys start telling me that they can tell "I have a lot upstairs" or (love this one) "You have a lot of potential" I don't even act nice about it anymore. I look at them levelly and say "I know."

    One guy before said that next time he came in he'd explain to me the concept of The Gaze. He was sort of cute though, because when I said "How about next time you come in I'll explain to you about The Gaze?" he got very embarrassed and chagrined - like at least he had the sensibility to know, right?
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    Member Anastacia79's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    [QUOTE=pinkpvc;1168057]Maybe i get wound up easily, but i have found myself getting more and more annoyed at a certain type of customer.


    What I have found is it is the super educated ones who have ZERO social skills who act like this. They see everything in black or white so Naked pretty girl=airhead and it just doesn't compute that we can be strippers AND Normal. (HOLY SHIT!!!! A STRIPPER THATS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?) What gets me is why theese guys always think we have another job. Seriously, it's like they think we do it for shits and giggles, not $$$$$$$. We make good money, why would we BOTHER with another job? Thats kind of like a guy who goes through law school working at McDonalds part time after he has a job as a lawyer. Or it's the 100% blue collar working-in-a-shitty-factory-job-for-the-rest-of-their-lives type of guy. Some of theese guys think we must be a cat of a different breed and treat us as such, but most of them are hoping to find the stripper who is so drunk that she can:t verbally defend herself so they can belittle someone to make themselves feel better.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Dont sweat it. It's not you PVC. There are dancers who use the "dumb blonde" approach to sell dancers. I know of alot of girls who dumb it down...To be honest, alot of guys could give a damn less if we're in school, they just want you to shut up and get naked.







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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Quote Originally Posted by oodlesofnoodles View Post
    hmm... what helps me is to either say something really outrageous and ridiculous so they realize they are stupid, or, i just agree with them a lot and try to see how sarcastic i can get without being caught. then i smile. it almost looks like flirting to these guys. the ones that came to be fucked with eat it up and buy more dances. the onces that are wasting my time, don't, and i just walk away. it puts me in control of the conversation and helps me keep my frustration down.
    Me too. Like if they say, "Are you at least in college?" or something I'll put on this big patronizing grin and say, "Why, are you in college, honey?"



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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    did you at least get paid for this dance?

    So outrageous. He's the one in the strip club, you're just the one profiting from it!

  11. #11
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Ah, yes. These types of personalities do this to everyone they consider servile....Remember in "Sideways" where Paul Giamatti's character insults Virgina Madsen's waitress character by saying, "She works for tips!" dismissively....He's a total miserable loser and he's scared of rejection....The only power this kind of person can wield is to make someone else feel insecure or small.

    The best answer is to figure out that's exactly what the person is trying to do to you, smile, excuse yourself, and say, "God bless you" (& think to yourself, "cause you need it!")

  12. #12
    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Oh, God. I remember the time when a customer told me that he was taking time off to enjoy a sabbatical, and then he stopped to explain to me what a sabbatical was.

    When people assume that I am dumb, often I find a way to use it to my advantage. Then I show them who the dumb one really is.

    Then there are those people who say that I am too smart to do this kind of work. That I need to get out and do something for the world. I tell them not to worry, for I am on my way to becoming an actress/filmmaker who plans on using her fame to make positive change in the world. It's the truth, but they don't believe it.

    A customer recently said to me "Well, how hard is it really to be an actress? I mean, all you are doing is just pretending. It's not hard to pretend something. How hard is it really to break in? I mean, come on now. " I wanted to smack him, but then I realized how ignorant he was and politely excused myself. It is hard as fuck to break in, and you do need talent and luck to do it. Like any job, it takes hard work and skill, and I doubt that being famous is EASY. What a jackass.

    And I love how they feel qualified to tell us how to live our lives. Um, I'm here for a reason. Who are they to judge?

    No point in arguing with these people or trying to make them see things in another way. Their minds are not open enough to function on that sort of level.
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  13. #13
    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Yeah, I can understand why these guys can get under your skin. But really, when you think about it, doesn't it seem obvious what's really going on? I think a big part of the reason so many guys have a problem with stripppers and sex workers in general is just straight up jelousy. We can get paid very good money for doing something (partying and dancing naked, looking good and socializing) that's not only not an option for the vast majority of them, but would probably result in disgusted moans from their unexpecting audience. Clearly, my sexuality, at least in a financial context, is worth infinately more than theirs. That's why they're pissed off.

  14. #14
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    The Repeating/ Why? Game that kids do is fun to use on these guys too. "What do I do? What do you do? Why? Why? Why?" The easiest hustle is to spin the customer off on his own soliloquy and then make the move when appropriate. An old school dancer told me once, "Men love talking about themselves...."

    They're just mad that they have two "heads" and only enough blood to run one at a time!!!!

  15. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    I generally play fun party-girl these days, but if someone gives me a condescending 'tude and asks if I'm in school (or worse, tells me I should be in school), I like to say, "Nahhh, finished my Master's degree a few years ago and I'm done. Now's when I get to have fun!" Either they get caught up in the fun wave and get dances, or they sit there flabbergasted, or they assume I'm lying and stew alone in their own attitude. But the ones from the first group make it worth one more line, at least.

  16. #16
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    I HATED that. Back when I still danced, I used to get customers saying to me, "THen what are you doing here???" SO annoying! And the truth was, the reason I was there was because I hadn't been able to find a job in my field after college(not that there's anything wrong with dancing though...the point is, their "what are you doing here" comment was a bit insulting and hit a little too close to home for me).

    Even now, as a bartender for a regular bar in a not-that-great city neighborhood, people ask me "what I'm doing here." :-( They especially say this to me after I tell them about my full-time day job and my college degree(I only tell them if they ask about it, though). I want to yell at them, "HELLO! I need to make more money! What, am I 'not allowed' to try and make extra money at a bar, simply because I look innocent or have a college degree??"

    People are condescending and annoying. By the way, the dumb male cunt that told you "get yourself an education" contradicted himself. He'd already acknowledged that you were going to uni, and then he had the nerve to tell you to get an education. WTF. I would have called him a "cunt" then reported him to management. Or better yet(to avoid getting in trouble for namecalling), I would have walked away from the dance before he did, just to feel like I'd gotten the last action/stance.

  17. #17
    sun child
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    One really arrogant fuck was bragging to me about how his daddy gave him a Vice President job at some company where he could get paid to golf, and he didn't know what "sinecure" meant. Heh.

  18. #18
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    God guys like this are pathetic. I always tell them when I get the "why arent you in school" crap...that I already did school and I'll have my lovely degree waiting for me when I'm old and grey. In the meantime..while I'm still hot I'm not going to take a $40K a year job sitting behind a desk somewhere using my degree when I can make 3-4 times that by drinking and getting naked and having fun. Why waste my youth being a corporate slave?

    The saddest thing is when guys try to PROVE how much smarter tehn you they are....and you end up having to correct them. I posted a few weeks ago about the toolbox who told me that we couldnt POSSIBLY have anything in common because he is smart and studied biology. Then he proceeded to tell me how there are 360 bones in the human hand. When I corrected him he got all huffy and walked away.

    People should really stick to working their strong points..and for a lot of people...thinking 'aint it!!

  19. #19
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    I funking hate guys like this. Normally I'm very tolerant of assholes...one guy pissed me off badly.

    After I explained that I had gone to school, but choose stripping because I like the schedule and money better, he still was giving me a hard time.

    I said hmm....How many hours did you work last week?
    He said 50.
    I said ok. What was yoru paycheck?
    He said 2,000
    I said oh....
    I worked for 6 hours last night and I made more than your 2 week paycheck.

    Who's stupid now?

    Work smarter, not harder......

  20. #20
    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Ha so stupid.

    one guy said to me " i cant beileve youre a stripper. i mean why wud u do this? u should do something else?"

    i replied, "reaaaly? like what?"

    he asnwered, "oh come on. theres tons of other stuff out there. but stripping? pffffff."

    i answered him back "well im pretty damn sure i make a helluva lot more money than u do...so i think im doing pretty good."

    that shut him up.

    usually i dont have time for this nonsense. all guys tihnk strippers are dumb and are "lost" but i dont give a shit. i rather have it that way. we are "fantasy" not a normal college girl whos been living with her b/f for 2 years and has three cats while there are a few rare customers who enjoy an intellecutal coversation from an innteligent woman, i can see that customers who DO ask these stupid qeustions are not the ones who do not much spend moeny.

    so usually when they ask me stupid stuff like why do i do this or whatever, i just giggle and ignore it. giggling and shrugging in a cute way is my answer for everything. ha. its easy. once in a while if im in a bad mood, ill say something rude. or ill say "i just loooove dancing naked. so i dont even THINK of it as a job!" (even tho i damn well do! haha)

    i think most men just want u to agree with them. if they lecture me about school, ill jus say "oh yes i know i cant do thsi forever...thats why im studying at college.." yadadadada.

    i still dont understand why men go to strip clubs and stop you in the middle of you being "sexy" and ask u mind pondering, meaning of your life questions.

    one old man even said to me as i was spreading my legs right in front of him, "you know, u shud be a pilot. the need for pilots these days are booming!"

    all in all, u dont have to answer to these men. just find a few lines that work for you, and use em
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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylinn View Post
    I funking hate guys like this. Normally I'm very tolerant of assholes...one guy pissed me off badly.

    After I explained that I had gone to school, but choose stripping because I like the schedule and money better, he still was giving me a hard time.

    I said hmm....How many hours did you work last week?
    He said 50.
    I said ok. What was yoru paycheck?
    He said 2,000
    I said oh....
    I worked for 6 hours last night and I made more than your 2 week paycheck.

    Who's stupid now?

    Work smarter, not harder......
    I also do this. haha its great to laeve em speechless like this , feeling like an ass.
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  22. #22
    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982 View Post
    I HATED that. Back when I still danced, I used to get customers saying to me, "THen what are you doing here???" SO annoying! And the truth was, the reason I was there was because I hadn't been able to find a job in my field after college(not that there's anything wrong with dancing though...the point is, their "what are you doing here" comment was a bit insulting and hit a little too close to home for me).

    Even now, as a bartender for a regular bar in a not-that-great city neighborhood, people ask me "what I'm doing here." :-( They especially say this to me after I tell them about my full-time day job and my college degree(I only tell them if they ask about it, though). I want to yell at them, "HELLO! I need to make more money! What, am I 'not allowed' to try and make extra money at a bar, simply because I look innocent or have a college degree??"

    People are condescending and annoying. By the way, the dumb male cunt that told you "get yourself an education" contradicted himself. He'd already acknowledged that you were going to uni, and then he had the nerve to tell you to get an education. WTF. I would have called him a "cunt" then reported him to management. Or better yet(to avoid getting in trouble for namecalling), I would have walked away from the dance before he did, just to feel like I'd gotten the last action/stance.
    Usually i think guys try to use the "what are u doing here? ur so beautiful..etc etc etc" as some sort of a pick up line. a poor excuse of one. but hey take it as a compliment
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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Quote Originally Posted by Windy View Post
    Usually i think guys try to use the "what are u doing here? ur so beautiful..etc etc etc" as some sort of a pick up line. a poor excuse of one. but hey take it as a compliment
    I love the "you're too beautiful"...do you think I'd be a stripper if I were hideous?


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  24. #24
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Actually the other night I was sitting with a guy who did a "are you just a stripper" kind of thing. I raised my brows and said "Is there a problem with that?" and he was all "No, no, but..."
    A little while later I asked what he did, and he said he was in the pharmaceutical industry. I said "Really? In what?" He replied "research." "Oh. I thought maybe you were, like, a janitor or something."

    To his credit he laughed and was all "I deserved that, didn't I?"
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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: patronising bastards

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Actually the other night I was sitting with a guy who did a "are you just a stripper" kind of thing. I raised my brows and said "Is there a problem with that?" and he was all "No, no, but..."
    A little while later I asked what he did, and he said he was in the pharmaceutical industry. I said "Really? In what?" He replied "research." "Oh. I thought maybe you were, like, a janitor or something."

    To his credit he laughed and was all "I deserved that, didn't I?"
    I HATE that? "so...what else do you do?"
    Nothing...why get a second job when I can work as little or as much as I want here...and make more money...for doing less work.


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