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Thread: So sad...

  1. #1
    Callyish
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    Default So sad...

    Well I got a phone call this afternoon from my Mom telling me my grandfather passed away. He has been sick for a long time now(various heart surgeries including a tripple bypass, Parkinson's disease and Alzheimer's just to name a few). Hes been in a nursing home for awhile now and he recently stopped eating and then pretty much slipped into a coma.

    I know its for the better hes passed on and hes not in pain anymore and hes with my grandmother.

    Here is a sappy love story for you...

    My Grampy and Nanny had been married for years(I don't even know how long). There was a 14 year age difference and my Nanny was always the young one at heart. They had 3 daughters(one being my Mom) and a Son. They lived a rather poor life... Mom told me she grew up in a one room shack that had no running water. When Mom was older they got a trailer and life was a little bit better. Yet no matter how poor they were they were always happy. My Mom said they never ever ever fought. Mom said she never even heard them raise their voices at each other, they were always sappy in love.

    I can remember my Nanny prancing around the kitchen when I was growing up, always baking cookies for her grandchildren... there was ALWAYS something yummy when I went over.

    I used to stay with my Nanny and Grampy a lot growing up, it helped me get away from my shitty home life. Nanny always was more then happy to see me. Everyone always says im a spitting image of her.

    Well my Nanny had a really bad heart... she was in and out of the hospital a lot towards the end of her life as was my Grampy. Even still no matter how sick Nanny was she was always in the hospital with Grampy holding his hand and taking care of him, then it switched when she was even more sick then he was, Grampy was ALWAYS with Nanny.

    The last time I saw the two of them together Nanny and Grampy were sitting on the love seat in their living room holding hands(Nanny was on an oxygen machine) and smiling all sappy in love.

    Nanny died two weeks later with Grampy in her hospital room holding her hand.

    We always thought that once Nanny went Grampy would be shortly after her yet he held on for two years after... he had a pitcher of her beside his bed and every night before bed he would kiss the pitcher and tell Nanny he loved her.

    The last time I saw my grandfather just over a month ago he didn't even remember who I was(and I was ALWAYS the favorite grand daughter). When he realized who I was he started crying and begging me not to leave telling me how I remind him so much of Nanny and its tearing his heart apart that he can't even remember. I started crying because it broke my heart to see him like this. I still picture him as the big strong man who used to pick me up on his shoulders and carry me around... the big strong man who used to be able to cut down a tree and make it land on a dime... and here he was this frail old man who can't even feed himself. I kissed him goodbye told him I love him and I will always be thinking of him and I will be back to see him before I go home. I never made it back to see him...

    Then Mom called me today while I was at work to tell me he passed on. I broke down... I feel like shit because the last thing I said to him was a lie... I never made it back.

    The worse of it is... I can't even make it home for the funeral on Tues. Im in Calgary and my family is back east. I checked flights frantically trying to find a way home and its going to cost me $1500 to go home. I just can not afford it... how pathetic of a grand daughter am I? I lied to my Grampy and now I can't even make it home for his funeral.

    I am happy because hes no longer suffering and hes with my Nanny and they are meant to be together...

    But I hate myself for lying to my Grampy and I can't even make it home to see him because im stuck out west doing this damn booking and can't afford a stupid flight home.

    Anyway im done my sad story... I guess I just needed to get it all out. Sitting here in my room all alone just doesn't help it any

  2. #2
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: So sad...

    Babe, you didn't lie to him intentionally, so don't beat yourself up over it too much. *hug* You aren't pathetic at all and it's clear from this that you loved your grandfather very much, and I bet he knew that.

    Very sorry to hear the news. And that was such a beautiful love story.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: So sad...

    That was a beautiful story.

  4. #4
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: So sad...

    awww, Cally, I'm so sorry.

    Since you can't get back home...maybe you can light a candle for him, or do something else to honor him?

  5. #5
    Veteran Member missfOxxy's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    Quote Originally Posted by Callyish View Post
    he had a pitcher of her beside his bed and every night before bed he would kiss the pitcher and tell Nanny he loved her.
    aww im sorry *hugs*
    at least you know that they loved each other...
    my grandparents are always fighting, my grandma it's always pissed with my grandpa.. she says that's because he was never there for her and she had to take care of her 9 kids by her own, a thing that wasn't easy, and now that he's literally dying he wants all the atention and he doesn't deserve it.
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    God/dess Embyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    wow... girl, I am so sorry.... my condolences... beautiful story, very touching!!

    both my grandfathers died of alzheimers... i've been grandparentless for a long time... it sucks. so yeah, i know how you feel, but i was never really close with mine, so I bet it must be VERY tough when this happens... *hugs*

  7. #7
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    Default Re: So sad...

    Cally, I'm so sorry to hear about your Grampy. Just remember, they're together now and you don't have to worry about him anymore.

    As for you being a bad granddaughter; don't do that to yourself. They would want you to live your life and that's what you're doing. Kaylinn's advice was right on the money.

    Light a candle, say a prayer and speak a few words, out loud, about your favorite memory. Then tell him you love him and blow out the candle.

    Love you sweetheart and I hope you get through this and find some peace in your heart.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member BmiWMT14's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    Cally I am so sorry to hear about you Grampy, but he is in a better place with Grammy holding his hand for sure!


    Dont beat you self up, and get down on yourself, you didnt lie to him. And your not a bad grand-daughter. Light a candle, Keep his memory alive, and Im sure Grammy and grappy will be smiling down on thier favorite grand daughter!
    You Cant Quit until you try, You cant live until you die, You Cant learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie.You Cant Breath Until you choke,You gotta Laugh When your the Joke, Theres Nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive! Will you swear on your life, that no one will cry at my Funeral!
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  9. #9
    Member Viewer's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    Aw Cally, that's so sad. I'm beaming a big hug your way.

    Please don't beat yourself up. I doubt he'd want you to do that. And I'm sure he never thought of you as a bad grand-daughter.
    To enjoy the flavour of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. -R. Heinlein.

  10. #10
    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    I'm so sorry, darling. I'm sure your Grampy knows how much you loved him and how you wish you could be there.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: So sad...

    I'm very sorry for your loss, Cally. You didn't lie. You meant what you said, but circumstances just prevented you. He knew how much you loved him. You will make it back East when you can, and you can honour his memory in your own way. *hugs*

  12. #12
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: So sad...

    aw, baby, I'm so sorry. Just try to focus on all the happyness he had and that he wants you to have. he's with his love again.

  13. #13
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: So sad...

    I'm so sorry Cally




  14. #14
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    Default Re: So sad...

    I'm sorry hon. It's good that you did get to see him shortly before, even if not as much as you wanted to. No one expects death to actually come and it sounds like you were there for him! Remember-funerals are for the living really-you aren't letting your Grampy down. I think he'll know you were thinking of him, even if you aren't at the actual service.

  15. #15
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: So sad...

    Dang, you made me cry. So few couples get to experience that much love for eachother. Be happy for them both.

    Definitely know that physical death is not the end of Life.

    I wish I could help you pay for a last minute ticket to get to the funeral!!!! Maybe someone else can help..But being as it is, your thoughts of your grandfather are enough. There's obviously much love in your heart.


  16. #16
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    I'm so very sorry for your lost my love. My thoughts are with you. xoxo.

  17. #17
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: So sad...

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

  18. #18
    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    What a sweet story. I'm very sorry for your loss. I bet your Grampy wouldn't want you to be all upset, either. ***hugs***

  19. #19
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    sorry to hear that cally!

  20. #20
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    *Hugz* Sorry for your loss Cally

  21. #21
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    Cally, I wish I could say that I know what you are going through and give you some words of comfort...but I don't.(i have yet to lose a grandparent..only the great-grandparents and i didn't know them all that much)

    All I can say is that I'm so sorry for your loss. But don't beat yourself up about not being there.

    Like others have said before me, there was nothing you could do. He knows you love him and he also would understand why you weren't able to be there. Just think...now he's up in Heaven reunited with his love.

    That was such a touching story...i hope that one day I find someone that I love like that...

    My thoughts are with you hunni...I'm so sorry for your loss
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  22. #22
    Callyish
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    Default Re: So sad...

    Thanks everyone...

    This has been so hard. I was on the computer at work today in the changing room and my mom sent me the link to his Obituary and I just started bawling my eyes out. The worse of it is I feel so alone right now... im trying to keep myself busy with work and doing a class with Alena tomorrow and just little stuff to keep my mind off it. Whats getting to me though is his funeral is on Weds.. and im going to be working. Something feels so wrong about knowing when im on stage getting naked they will be putting him in the ground. Its killing me.

    I feel so helpless and alone... like im sitting in this apartment by myself and all I really want is someone to cuddle into and cry...

  23. #23
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    Dear lady I am trying so hard to find words for what I want to say... but I'm fumbling badly. I'm around if you need me for anything.
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  24. #24
    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    (((((hugs))))) I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather, hon. I faced the same situation when my great-aunt (who was being cared for by my parents) was dying, and I was on leave from work and back in the States. I saw her on a Thursday, the night before I was to fly back to the UK, and told her I'd pray for her and be back to see her for Christmas. I left on Friday, and found out that she passed away on Saturday. And much like your situation, it would have been cost-prohibitive to try and fly out on short notice for the funeral, so I wasn't able to make it back.

    I wish there were a way for you to be able to take time off to mourn your Grampy. I also wish I knew better about what to say to you. I'll be praying for you and your family...take care sweetie.
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  25. #25
    Veteran Member Ferret's Avatar
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    Default Re: So sad...

    I'm always one to avoid these bitter moments that are part of being alive but here I am because I've come to know soemthing of you as a person. I think you are golden.

    You are relieved that your grandfather is free of the painful grip of disease and from the ravages of time. I'm of the same mind.

    Circumstance prevents you from attending his funeral. Your final graveside respects are simply set aside for another day.

    We have a care about you and for you.

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