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Thread: afraid of answering the phone

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    Default afraid of answering the phone

    I think this is a throwback to my agoraphobic days. I just can't bring myself to answer the phone! Every time i hear it ringing i get a sense of fear. I've tried to define what it is i'm afraid of:

    1- Something bad has happened and someone is phoning to let me know
    2- Someone is phoning to confront me about something

    But when i think about it 1 has never happened and 2 only once or twice in 20 years.
    I'm also terrified of using the phone. I try and get my mum or boyfriend to phone people if necessary.
    Does anyone else have this fear? How can i overcome it?


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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    I'm scared of answering my landline. No caller id + debt collectors = no way! I'm terrified.
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    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    aww

  4. #4
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    I loathe the phone and will put off making a call as long as possible.

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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    I think you should just be honest and tell your friends that your probably not going to pick up the phone, but they should leave a message and you will call them back. Maybe it will be easier if your in control and call them when you feel up to it!
    OR you can take the opposite approach and get a job as a telemarketer.
    Nothing like staring your fear in the face to then kick it in the balls.
    Good luck!
    Ps. counseling might help too



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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    I loathe the phone and will put off making a call as long as possible.
    i'm glad i'm not the only one. i hate calling people. mine is the opposite problem of the op, but i do refuse to answer any numbers i don't know. i get nervous when they call me, too. but as for calling... it doesn't happen, unless i'm calling a cell phone. even if it's a direct line at work or something, i'm convinced that someone else will answer it. i have to call places to do an alcohol class because of my dui and im sitting here like, ok, i'll do it by 1.

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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    Definitely try counselling. Finding one who deals with phobias would be best since they could help you slowly get used to answering the phone and making calls. If you don't think you need that much of a push to overcome your fear, you could try easing yourself into to on your own. Start small. Answer the phone once a week, and then gradually move to every couple days, then every day, then twice a day, and so on until you're always answering. As for making phone calls, start with just calling your boyfriend or mother since you seem to trust them the most. Then other close friends or family. Or you could try having them there with you, maybe even on another phone at the same time, as you make the calls to make you feel more comfortable doing it.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    i hate it too i would much rather text.

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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    Hating something is pretty different than being afraid of it. It sounds like a pretty severe phobia. If you think it's controlling your life or if it gets worse, you might want to talk to a doctor.
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    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    Oh my gosh I'm the same way!!! Even if the caller ID says it's my mom...I always have this fear in the back of my head that she's calling to tell me something bad or tell me she found out my job. It's weird...but I don't know if it's so serious that you need counseling. I just wait for people to leave messages. Then depending on what the message is, I'll call them back.

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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    I loathe the phone myself. I rarely answer a call that I'm not expecting, and if I don't know the number I won't pick up. I think its a mild anxiety issue in my case, I fear I'll be confronted and put on the spot by a bill collector or someone I don't feel like talking to. I think this is pretty common. Screening calls is one thing, but it sounds like you have a full-blown phobia.

    The typical method to overcome this type of phobia is systematic desensitization. This is a behavior therapy where you are exposed to your phobia in small doses that increase over time. Eventually you get used to the object you formerly feared and it loses it affect on you. For instance, you may have a friend or family member agree to call you at certain times. Since you are expecting the call, it shouldn't freak you out too bad, and as they call more you get used to the ring until it doesn't startle you or cause feelings of dread. After you move on from expected calls, you would have them call you randomly, and increase the stakes from there.

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    Veteran Member SweetMelissa's Avatar
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    Hmm..I know I don't like talking on the phone because I hate not knowing what they're doing at the moment while talking to me/listening to me..even if they tell me what they're doing it's still weird for me. I hate not being able to see their facial expressions too. It makes me so nervous. It's so awkward for me. I'd rather talk in person.

    I pick up the phone if it's my husband or other family members just in case it's an emergency of some sort. Everyone who knows me well knows that I don't like talking on the phone so they rarely call me and when they do, it's normally because of an emergency, they can't see me in person or they're nowhere near a computer so it's a last resort.

    Oh, one old friend of mine got really angry at me for not being a phone person. He loved chatting on the phone for hours like a girly girl. I'd never pick up. I'd always just go on the computer and talk to him through I.M.'s instead. Bahhhhh

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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    Caller ID and don't answer it if you don't know them. I don't answer any call that I cant see who the number is and if do see and dont know it, they're talking to the box.

    Whatever I may be doing at the moment (even if it is nothing) is significantly more important than anything that someone I don't know has to say.

    Another thing is people who call after 10. If my family is home, there is nothing that anyone needs to say to any of us at 10 at night, that cant wait till tomorrow.
    Last edited by 200singles; 08-16-2007 at 09:02 AM.

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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    Wow, I'm so happy to hear other people share my phone phobia! I hate it when my phone rings, I hate talking on the phone, I hate checking my messages, when I have to make a call it's a chore that I put on my to-do list...it's not an antisocial thing, and I don't have any debt collectors or anyone bad calling me. I just...hate the phone.

    And I love online communication. Go figure.

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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    Wow, I'm so happy to hear other people share my phone phobia! I hate it when my phone rings, I hate talking on the phone, I hate checking my messages, when I have to make a call it's a chore that I put on my to-do list...it's not an antisocial thing, and I don't have any debt collectors or anyone bad calling me. I just...hate the phone.

    And I love online communication. Go figure.

    i am the same way exactly.

    I love the internet, my email etc. Hat hate hate the phone! I ask my SO to call for doc appts.

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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    I just recently learned how to text message, and it's GREAT! I tell people to text me instead of calling...ah. Makes me happy.

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  17. #17
    Tasty
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    When I'm stoned I hate answering my phone.

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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    I answer my phone frequently, while I'm being paid. If the pay ain't there I don't care....

    I do get really burnt out with the phone, and only answer at home if I know it is necessary.
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    I used to have a big problem with answering and calling, but it's gotten better since I can't avoid being on the phone at work.

    The only advice I can give is to figure out exactly what you are thinking when you hear the phone ring and get that instant fear. Chances are you're thinking about something much more specific than the two general things you mentioned, you just don't realize it.

    To me, the hardest part of irrational fears like this is to be able to figure out what you're thinking about that is causing the fear as you are thinking about it. For me, sometimes it would be a week or two later that I remembered what I was thinking about that paralyzed me (not necessarily phone related). I made an effort to be more aware of exactly what I was thinking during those times and have gotten much better at it. Once you know exactly what is causing the reaction as it's happening, it makes it easier to pick the thought apart and dismiss it as not realistic.

    That's one of main parts of cognitive-behavioral therapy, just understanding what is causing the fear. Once you know what you're really thinking, you can determine whether it's something that is likely to happen. It can be difficult, but with the right therapist (specializing in CBT) it can make a huge difference in a lot of areas.

  20. #20
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    i dont answer my phone if i dont know who it is..... but if caller id shows someone i know, ill answer it no problem.

    i hate making phone calls to people i dont know either!!

  21. #21
    Callyish
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    I hate calling people... im scared to make calls. It takes me about 20 min to prep myself to call to order pizza... or to call my friends it takes me a few min to sort out what im going to say.. i just get weird. I wont leave voice mail unless i have to and yea.. ahaha..

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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    ^ i wont order food if i have to call. i order online or dont order at all.

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    Veteran Member SweetMelissa's Avatar
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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one out there who won't call to order food. I always have my husband order pizza for us or we'll go in person. He gets upset at me over it sometimes.

    I don't like leaving voice mails either. In high school, when my best friends wouldn't/couldn't pick up, I'd leave a voice mail then listen to it afterwards to make sure I didn't sound like a complete idiot and if I thought I did, I'd do it all over again. I still do that.

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    Default Re: afraid of answering the phone

    wow u guys i am so glad other people are scared of calling people that they dont know.

    i have had severe anxiety abotu calling for jobs in particulr but it extends to ordering food or talking to anyone i dont know.

    my parents and boyfriend get annoyed at me coz they dont understand why i ask them to call people.

    I also fear answering the phone and get agitated when the phone rings.
    I wont answer the house phone at all because of telemarketers.

    I also fear listening to voice mails!! Im not afraid per se of what they are about but i have this anxious feeling when i call up to listen to voice mail.
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