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Thread: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

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    Default Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    In so many threads I have read recently, meeting a dancer of their choice OTC seems to be either the aim of the poster, or if they've done so already, very much worth highlighting. Assuming that we're talking about a dancer that you know well enough to ask for a meeting, I believe that if your venture into OTC was going to be fruitful, you would have had plenty of strong signals from the girl already. Or not. Thus avoiding the need to ask here. Girls, tell me if I'm wrong. I know that YMMV from girl to club to state to country, but what's the general feeling? Is it that common for girls to initiate or accept OTC meetings purely to extract more money, if it is I believe that a guy should be able to judge this directly from his interaction with the girl ITC.

    Are guys just dumb?

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    you're assuming dancers offer clear indicators of intent (not consistently true). in fact there are plenty of dancers who don't want otc, but can't turn off the hustlemode, so to speak.
    Last edited by miabella; 08-18-2007 at 10:52 PM.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    True Mia, I am making the assumption that the dancers do not want to turn a regular in to a stalker by leading him to think he will have some form of relationship sexual or otherwise with them. Out of countless visits to my local place over 12 years, I've only ever had one girl *pretend* that she was interested in an 'intimate' OTC hookup. Majority of the dancers I have met over the years are more afraid of stalkers than they love money.

    I figure that a guy can learn a lot from accidental meetings OTC though. Spot a dancer you have met once or twice before ITC, in the aisles at the supermarket, or other public place. Assuming that she's shopping alone. It happens. How she reacts when she sees you will tell you a lot. Random encounters can go either way, but will generally be very informative.
    What about the customer relations angle? If a dancer a customer regularly sees offers to meet and doesn't show, or promises things she doesn't intend to deliver, isn't she taking a very high risk that he might find another ATF to throw money at, and fast?

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    i am 100% upfront and honest about not going OTC. it loses me money... FREQUENTLY... but i don't care. i'm not going to lie.

    that being said... i still have guys who'll spend thousands over the course of some months (depending on the guy) in the hopes of "changing my mind".

    i don't understand it. at all.

    i mean, i understand them doing it with girls who keep leading them on, because that makes sense.

    but what doesn't someone understand about "no" "never" and (when i get really frustrated with them trying) "i have a boyfriend of over 4 years now"

    .... ??????

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    OTC meetings with a dancer often take on a context for club customers that has little to do with personal relationships ! Instead the customer intent of OTC meetings with dancers is to complete a 'business transaction' which cannot be done inside the club.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Quote Originally Posted by Macnee2 View Post
    I figure that a guy can learn a lot from accidental meetings OTC though. Spot a dancer you have met once or twice before ITC, in the aisles at the supermarket, or other public place. Assuming that she's shopping alone. It happens. How she reacts when she sees you will tell you a lot. Random encounters can go either way, but will generally be very informative.
    Huh? I wonder what the odds are on this. I guess this has happened to you. Of course they can go either way, but I swear to god it is not likely she will decide to go home with you from the supermarket just bc she recognized you from the club! How she reacts when she sees you says a lot? Like what...if that happened to me I would just be nice, causual, small-talkative, and be on my way.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    What I believe you can gather from the chance encounter is not whether the two of you are going to rush off to the carpark and throw down the back seats in his wife's station wagon, but can be as simple as seeing if the dancer actually initiates contact with some enthusiasm, or pretends that she didn't see him. Had both. Remembered both when back ITC and there were funds to be spent.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Well, if I wanted someone that bad I wouldn't want $$ and sure enough wouldn't ever want them as a customer of mine ever again! That's hot. I'd be lucky to meet them in the supermarket and have my chance!

    I agree with you in the original topic of this thread...guys are always soliciting 'adivice' about "does she REALLY want to meet with me OTC?" and altho yea some girls can send off confusing vibes...if you really have to ask, it ain't happening.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    If a dancer wants to see a guy OTC she will tell him, he wont have to ask.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    If a dancer wants to see a guy OTC she will tell him, he wont have to ask.
    LOL Or tell him repeatedly, ask for his number, call once in a while, give strong signals, make plans (which somehow always fall through), complain that he never calls her, ask for sex constantly, etc. and still have no interest in OTC with him.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    that being said... i still have guys who'll spend thousands over the course of some months (depending on the guy) in the hopes of "changing my mind".

    i don't understand it. at all.

    i mean, i understand them doing it with girls who keep leading them on, because that makes sense.

    but what doesn't someone understand about "no" "never" and (when i get really frustrated with them trying) "i have a boyfriend of over 4 years now"

    .... ??????
    Because you are the girl that said "NO"....guys can be competitive...they feel it would be an accomplishment to get you OTC. The ones that dangle OTC (or actually do OTC) are not "victories" for the guy...they are sure things....so to speak...

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Quote Originally Posted by crizgolfer View Post
    Because you are the girl that said "NO"....guys can be competitive...they feel it would be an accomplishment to get you OTC. The ones that dangle OTC (or actually do OTC) are not "victories" for the guy...they are sure things....so to speak...

    LOL

    dumbasses

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    LOL

    dumbasses
    Dumbasses...perhaps...but probably a part of the reason...

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    LOL Or tell him repeatedly, ask for his number, call once in a while, give strong signals, make plans (which somehow always fall through), complain that he never calls her, ask for sex constantly, etc. and still have no interest in OTC with him.
    ^^
    that's SS. Im talking about on the rare occasion when a dancer is interested in a guy OTC, there will be no question about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    it is unfair to tell lestat that 'she'd really make it clear' when dancers do what he's describing all the time even when they do want to meet OTC. people can be ambivalent about their desires. it is misleading to write that off as 'obviously SS' when it could as easily be simple ambivalence.

    dancers are not robots, and they do not always present matters in a binary, 'clear' fashion. and it is quite misleading to claim that is the norm when it is not.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    unfair?
    whatever........
    He misunderstood my post. I was talking about when a dancer truly likes a guy and wants to see him OTC. Of course they are not robots but that's not what I was talking about.

    What he wrote in his quote, IMO describes SS. Other people are allowed to comment on what they believe to be SS.
    Im assuming the reason u take issue with it is because I wrote it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    I think what Jaizaine is saying is that if a dancer really likes a custy, he won't need to make "Does she really like me threads?" as she will make it clear enough, quickly enough, and with actions that she really does. Where I and maybe Miabella initially got confused was thinking that Jaizaine meant she will tell him in clear terms that she was interested. Saying it doesn't work because stating in clear terms that she is interested in him and SS are, or can frequently be, identical.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    ^^
    thank-you that explains it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    I think what Jaizaine is saying is that if a dancer really likes a custy, he won't need to make "Does she really like me threads?" as she will make it clear enough, quickly enough, and with actions that she really does. Where I and maybe Miabella initially got confused was thinking that Jaizaine meant she will tell him in clear terms that she was interested. Saying it doesn't work because stating in clear terms that she is interested in him and SS are, or can frequently be, identical.

    This is such muddy water. Leading a patron on ( making he think he's going to get some booty ) outside in the real world is wrong. Telling a patron he will get some and or make so called plans with a guy from work and not showing up is wrong. Scamming.

    I have my own personal view on the subject which I shall just keep to myself and IF a dancer likes a guy enough to show definite interest - the trick here is for the guy to determine if it is just Stripper Shit or real " I like you."

    So many dancers now'a'days think that they HAVE to scam guys for money or to make promises they wont or can't keep.
    Personally, I don't think guys are bright enough to tell one from the other.
    All the smoke and mirrors of the strip club, mix that with attractive scantily clad women plus liquor and frankly some guys are just done.



    No offense, just a point of view from years of working in strip clubs.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Crow2,
    I would prefer to be called naive, genuine, honest, or trusting, as opposed to dumb, but I hear ya.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    Crow2,
    I would prefer to be called naive, genuine, honest, or trusting, as opposed to dumb, but I hear ya.

    Lestat,

    Some guys don't fit into that category. I was generalizing
    We've never met, plus who am I to judge you?

    It is just my view in a general fashion.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    i don't believe dancers generally make it clear with actions or words that they want to see a guy OTC without money being involved. i've seen too many examples of the ambivalent thing to feel comfortable assuming it's always SS if she hasn't managed to meet up with him. most strippers are flaky even with guys they meet OTC anyhow. SW strippers that save their moneys and don't lead guys on (and even a few SW girls are guilty of stereotype-stripper behaviors) are not typical/common/standard.

    also, even if a girl is very clear, guys will hear and think what they want about the stripper-customer relationship because that is part of the nature of the work. a dancer good at creating the fantasy will pick up a few true believers whether she's led them on as such or whether she's been upfront about no OTC hanky-panky.

    if no guy ever came into the club daydreaming a girl would go OTC with him for no moneys, stripping as we know it wouldn't involve any real earnings potential. something to keep in mind...

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Quote Originally Posted by miabella View Post
    i don't believe dancers generally make it clear with actions or words that they want to see a guy OTC without money being involved. i've seen too many examples of the ambivalent thing to feel comfortable assuming it's always SS if she hasn't managed to meet up with him. most strippers are flaky even with guys they meet OTC anyhow. SW strippers that save their moneys and don't lead guys on (and even a few SW girls are guilty of stereotype-stripper behaviors) are not typical/common/standard.

    also, even if a girl is very clear, guys will hear and think what they want about the stripper-customer relationship because that is part of the nature of the work. a dancer good at creating the fantasy will pick up a few true believers whether she's led them on as such or whether she's been upfront about no OTC hanky-panky.

    if no guy ever came into the club daydreaming a girl would go OTC with him for no moneys, stripping as we know it wouldn't involve any real earnings potential. something to keep in mind...

    Exactly. Then again - if the chick is VERY clear about no OTC and the guy thinks what he wants, the dancer is vindicated. Not her fault and it can't come back and bite her in the behind. That would be all his "bad" and again we go back to the guy trying to figure out which is what. * chuckle *

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    It's strange I developed a real realtionship with a stripper OTC but it was a long tendious process b/c neither one of us wanted to accept we actually really liked each other.i had friendships with strippers before but that was only b/c I worked with them.She had OTC meetings before but they were purely sexual.I find it srange when I a guy asks does she really like me b/c I didn't want to fall for a stripper and I went kicking and screaming the whole way and same for her or vice versa,I consider it the best thing that ever happened to me tho b/c meeting her and the relationship that developed changed my life.I don't think this really added much or answered your question in any way but wanted to share a positive experience.
    Last edited by Triton; 08-19-2007 at 09:52 PM.

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    Default Re: Why the big OTC focus by guys?

    Before I started dating the chick I 'm with if I saw a girl she worked with I wouldn't talk to them unless they talked to me first no matter where it was.Npw when I've been out with her I can tell when a guy recognizes her.He sometimes looks at her like he knows her but know sure from where and other times it's obvious he knows from where.I'll sometimes ask humorously is she recognizes him and she very rarely does.I know she's at the point where she hates it and she's said she tried to forget about them when she's not there. Plus she's told me she sees so many guys at work unless it's a reg she wouldn't recognize them anyway.She's also said there's no way she would talk to a guy from the club even a reg outside of work.She's been doing it for a very long time and has become very jaded about the job and has developed a very low opinion of the guys at work.She also works at a very high contact,high milage club.So it could also be slective memory b/c of how she feels about the job in general.I do know she wasn't always like that it's taken her years to develope that attitude

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