You know you are a stripper when…
You are out in public and someone shouts out your stage name and your respond not realizing it wasn't meant for you.
You start to think of your future purchases in lap dances. Example: it's gonna take 5 lap dances for me to buy this new bracelet
You buy hand sanitizer and baby wipes in bulk and you don't have any kids.
That sanitizer & wipes along with your boob job is a tax write off.
You go out with 'regular' friends and feel the need to censor yourself on the dancefloor.
You have two separate sections of your wardrobe and makeup - one for your 'regular' self and one for your 'stripper' self.
Every pair of shoes you own has some sort of high heel.
12pm is a REALLY early hour to wake up.
6am is a normal hour to go to bed.
Breakfast takes place before you go to sleep.
Your pet has glitter in its fur.
Drag queens ask you where you got your _____, when you're just walking down the sidewalk.
You go out to a restaurant and bitch at the guy who took you to tip the waitress, the barmaid and the busboy.
When a guy tries the pickup line "don't I know you?" and you immediately think he must be a customer.
When the clerk hands you your change from the groceries and you try to take it in between your breasts by squeezing them together with your hands.
You buy something for $50 and pay in singles.
You get dressed and undressed while not removing your shoes.
You don't own any porn, but you've met more porn stars than most people can imagine.
You don't get offended when someone says "nice tits".
You have to "think" when you introduce yourself.
A "C cup" no longer seems impressive.
You know why baby oil is evil.
You never think of a fire station pole in the same way.
You hear a good song on the radio and automatically start thinking of how you can work it on stage.



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