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    Default Tsunami hits Daytona (fictional)

    Terror in Daytona Beach

    By Anthony Nasko Jr.
    Weather writer
    DAYTONA BEACH — The day of a tsunami in Florida is oddly impossible, but today, in Daytona Beach, a tsunami arrived.
    After a massive Earthquake occurred in the ocean near Daytona Beach, an average sized tsunami formed two miles across the coast. As it was heading towards the beach, people calmly evacuated.
    Strange enough, the tsunami became 10 yards shorter per half-a-mile.
    When the tsunami entered the beach, the beach/snack store was destroyed fiercely.
    102 people drowned. 98 were badly injured and 24 escaped by car.
    Several injured are still in the emergency room, 4 children were airlifted to Orlando Regional hospital.
    One of the lifeguards we interviewed (who didn´t want to give his name) said, "...but I´m sure they won´t visit the beach for a while, even when they are cured."

    Volcano opens behind courthouse, sparking controversy

    By Zane Landers
    West Volusia staff reporter
    DELAND — Yesterday a large volcano opened up behind the old courthouse in DeLand.
    The volcano opened near an area that had no shops, businesses, or homes in a field owned by Shikora Shikelbeger.
    Authorities at first ignored it because it was not an immediate danger to humans. This morning, however, the volcano stands near to 500 feet, endangering many people.
    Chincky Finkleberg, a protest specialist from San Francisco said, "Well, a volcano can appear for a lot of reasons, my friend. A butterfly flaps its wings in China and causes a volcano in Deland, so if we get rid of the volcano here, what are the Chinese butterflies going to do?"
    Meanwhile, in City Hall, a debate rages about what the name of the new volcano.
    The city is divided on whether to name it after our fair city (Mount Deland) or name it after the person that first discovered it (Mount Shikora Shikelbeger).

    NASA disturbs Pepsi 500

    By Rajiv Golla
    Sports writer
    DAYTONA BEACH — A strange event happened during the Pepsi 500 today, July 4.
    The space shuttle, coming back from a mission, landed at the speedway.
    Several drivers had to swerve out of its path, clearly altering the outcome of the race.
    We asked the pilot why he did all of this, all he said was, "we thought we would win except we forgot about Dale Earnhart."
    In the end, the shuttle and crew recieved 3rd place, even though they´d gone around the Earth in record time.
    This is the strangest July 4 in speedway history.
    Jeff Gordon got 1st place and Dale Earnheart got 2nd.
    NASA spokesman said, "When the pilot comes back to headquarters he will be fired. I apologize. This will never happen again."

    Giant squid in Honolulu

    By Juliana Elrod
    Staff writer
    HONOLULU — A giant squid in Honolulu, Hawaii is destroying the island.
    "It´s destroying the world!" Governor Caakstaa (Cok-sa) said. “It´s destroying our lighthouse right now!”
    Researchers predict that this giant squid´s next destination will be California, and it may destroy Hollywood and Beverly Hills with it.
    Scientists are studying the squid to determine how it could possibly live on dry land.
    Sea World is sending trained professionals to capture the squid and safely take it to their aquarium so others can look at it. This may not be able to be accomplished because Sea World has never captured anything so large in size. If this can´t be done, they will have to risk putting the squid in the ocean, but this may not be done either because the height of the squid, which is 103´4" and placing the squid in the ocean may cause a huge flood which may cause part of Hawaii to vanish.
    Scientists and Sea World are still thinking of a way to stop the humongous squid.

    Evil crabs attack Daytona Beach

    By Sergio Tiffany
    Environment writer
    DAYTONA BEACH — Crabs apparently attacked a fishing boat and forced it ashore early this morning.
    Bob Zander, a victim of the attack said, "The end of the world is coming."
    The Cassandra, his fishing boat, was in bad condition during the attack. It later was dragged back into the ocean by the crabs.
    Jim Jefferson, a protestor, said, "Don´t kill the crabs!"
    As you can see there are only three crabs in the picture, but Jefferson is worried there could be more.
    The investigation into the attack continues.



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  2. #2
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Tsunami hits Daytona (fictional)

    Crab people...Crap people.....

    Sorry..that last one made me think of South park!
    Last edited by cameron_keys; 10-16-2007 at 12:30 PM.

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    Default Re: Tsunami hits Daytona (fictional)

    The Onion?

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