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Thread: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

  1. #1
    242_fair
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    Exclamation Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Clean and Sober: If anyone wants to share please go ahead...

    After abusing drugs and liquor for 8 years, I made the choice to stop using. I checked myself into an in-patient facility to detox last week.

    Today, I have been clean for 5 days. I know that's not a lot of time, but anyone with the disease of addiction can feel how hard that is.

    The detox was really hard to get through, and I left before the Dr. said I was ready. Until yesterday I was still having seizures and today I am having mild tremors... (jerky movements).

    I am really emotional, rage one second and crying the next. I feel bad for my husband because he has to deal with all this.

    I am happy about not using alcahol or drugs for these days, and scared about the future and maintaining this.

    I am still in the Middle-East so there is no AA meetings for me. As a female here it would be hard to attend anyway. But I am using an online AA/NA forum for a little support.

    Yesterday I had the chance to have a beer and I said no.

    If anyone is suffering from / has overcome addictions, please share.

  2. #2
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Wow. Congratulations, 242fair!

    Remember you will start feeling better physically soon. Your body is in shock right now. It took me a week or so to even out physically after my last drink, and I'm still evening out emotionally, lol...

    I've been sober 3 years now, 5 years from meth and marijuana, quit smoking almost 2 years ago. I never thought I would get to this point, but it's the best place I've been in my life. It does get easier as time goes on.

    It sounds like you're off to a good start. Don't be afraid to check yourself back into a facility if you are feeling like you need some help. The most important thing to do is keep yourself safe while you begin this chapter of your life.

    Good luck.

  3. #3
    242_fair
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Thank you zxcire.

    My drug of choice was marijuana and alcahol, but I was also abusing perscriptions and hash and whatever was available as of late.

  4. #4
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Wow, thanks for starting this thread. My story is a bit long and I have to get back to the office, but I will share later.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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  5. #5
    242_fair
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    I hope you do, K!

  6. #6
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    I second that this thread is a great idea.

    Stripperweb and support-for-addiction-web all in one!

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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    i really want to read kat's story.

    i think this will be a good thread. i just had my evaluation today before i start alcohol classes. it was not fun. i kinda want to cry right now

  8. #8
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    I have a story about my painkiller addiction and recovery that I could share. However I need to nap because my head is killing me, so maybe later.

  9. #9
    242_fair
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Brit, what kind of evaluation did you have? Tell me about the class you will take?

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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    ^ i got a dui, so i had to be evaluated as a "problem drinker" or "social drinker." the lady said i'm very interesting because a month ago she wouldve said i was an alcoholic, but now she wouldnt. who knows. theyre drug and alcohol education classes that i have to take, theyre mandatory because of my dui, im not doing it by choice.

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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    First off, congratulations 242 and everyone else who is battling to overcome addiction.

    I was addicted to coke in my early 20's. And stopped dead cold the day after a party when I found myself crawling on the floor looking to see if I dropped any rocks in the rug.

    After over 18 years of saying no, I had some rotten things happen to me and I started again a year and a half ago. Did it hardcore for about 3 months.

    I was down to 95 lbs and scary skinny. My close friend was in the same boat and getting bad kidney infections to boot. The final straw for me was when we locked ourselves in a hotel room for 24 hours and proceeded to do over 4 8-balls together. Two 95lb girls and all that blow...we could have died.

    I was a mess the next day. Didn't sleep for 3 days after that. Crashed for over a day and wound up pretty sick. That was it for me. Stopped it cold again and haven't touched it since.

    I don't plan to, but those who have overcome addictions know it's not good to talk or think in absolutes. I just know that I haven't done it again today. I can't speak for tomorrow.

    Good luck and much strength to all of us.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    i feel very very uncomfortable talking about and reading about people's coke problems. there were many times that i crawled on the floor looking for some i may have spilled. yuck. i dont even like thinking about it. its scary to read that you stopped for 18 years and then did it again...

  13. #13
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    I was addicted to meth. I quit cold turkey after moving. Usually I get people congratulating me for getting over my addiction... but yesterday I had some twat tell me that was NOTHING because they had to get over CIGARETTES. I wanted to throttle them. :/

    I'm glad you're clean. The first days are the hardest.


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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    I was addicted to meth. I quit cold turkey after moving. Usually I get people congratulating me for getting over my addiction... but yesterday I had some twat tell me that was NOTHING because they had to get over CIGARETTES. I wanted to throttle them. :/

    What a jackass!

    Congrats to everyone who has battled addiction.

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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    i feel very very uncomfortable talking about and reading about people's coke problems. there were many times that i crawled on the floor looking for some i may have spilled. yuck. i dont even like thinking about it. its scary to read that you stopped for 18 years and then did it again...

    I haven't figured out out to do multiple quotes.

    I think this keeps people out of recovery groups and support gruops. Who needs to relive that shit over and over and over. It is a trigger for a lot of people. I'm not talking about this thread by the way. I'm contemplating posting part of my story, just not sure how much I'm comfortable with.

  16. #16
    Member evey's Avatar
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    Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    first of all congrats
    i was addicted to speed for 2 years and when i got caught my senior year of HS then put me in rehab i couldnt move i was so weak after they cleaned it out of system
    Ive been sober for almost 2 years now and i can gladly say that i have been offered drugs MANY times and iv turned them done no prob

    KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!
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    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    i feel very very uncomfortable talking about and reading about people's coke problems. there were many times that i crawled on the floor looking for some i may have spilled. yuck. i dont even like thinking about it. its scary to read that you stopped for 18 years and then did it again...
    Quote Originally Posted by DylanAngel View Post
    I was addicted to coke in my early 20's. And stopped dead cold the day after a party when I found myself crawling on the floor looking to see if I dropped any rocks in the rug.
    Um, yeah, I only did coke recreationally here and there, but I can't even tell you how many times I was doing shit like this after a party....so disgusting!!

    That feeling as you're coming down (or when you *think* you're coming down, but you're actually still flying high) and you NEED more, and oh wait!! "I think there's a little bit in the edge of the CD case, or on the dollar bill, or in the edges of the little mirror (we sometimes used to cleaned out make-up compact), or on the floor, etc" Ugh - nasty.






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  18. #18
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    I remember it (meth) spilling in my wallet once and I freaked out after I had cleaned it thinking there was still more in there.. so I rolled a dollar bill and snorted the inside of my wallet cracks. A few days later, in another freak out that I needed more, I licked it.



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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    ^ i used to do that all the time. then when i was finished i would wipe everything down and clean it all up to make sure there was none left to make me upset later. but i would still look. ugh i shouldnt have clicked on this thread. it makes me f eel so god damn shitty.

  20. #20
    242_fair
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Thanks everyone for dropping by to read!

    I think a lot of users have had those 'searching for more on the floor' episodes. Now thats a whole new meaning for 'low point'!

    Brit, is there a difference between a problem drinker and alcaholic? The kinds of questions they asked me when I went into rehab was like 'when you drink, how many do you have?' Personally, I usually lost count, somewhere after 5 or so drinks. So they said yes, I have a drinking problem.

    Today I am going to hang out at this hippie compound place in the desert where you can swim and suntan and drink. I am a little scared because I know I will be offered drinks. And it makes me worry about when I return to work and all the offers I will have to pass up.

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Strength vibes going out to you 242. Just take it slow. By the hour if you have to.

    I'm sorry if people feel uncomfortable but I have faced my demons and am not afraid to admit that I have a weakness. I'm also proud of myself everyday that I live through being clean.

    I think the hardest part is trying to remove yourself from situations that might make you relapse. For me, I had to give up some very dear friends. They were (are) fantastic people, but, being with them made it easy for me to slip back down that slope.

    But at least coke is harder to get at (for me at least). I couldn't imagine having to deal with an alcohol problem. It's everywhere and so acceptable in most circles. I admire anyone who faces and overcomes this addiction.

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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Quote Originally Posted by 242_fair View Post
    Brit, is there a difference between a problem drinker and alcaholic? The kinds of questions they asked me when I went into rehab was like 'when you drink, how many do you have?' Personally, I usually lost count, somewhere after 5 or so drinks. So they said yes, I have a drinking problem.
    problem/social is the legal way they say alcoholic or not, i *think* but im not sure. i dont think that losing track after 5ish drinks makes you have a problem, though. i had a problem and i could list you each and every drink i had, well over 5. and there were times when i didnt have a problem and i couldnt tell you a damn thing that happened the whole night because i was so blacked out. its the dependency that means you have a problem. plus, my counselor asked a LOT. i was there for over an hour and a half. we talked about each family member, each job ive ever had, high school, college, drugs, drinking, from the first drink i ever had and then going y ear by year (from 16 going year by year of school up til now) and the actual night i got my dui. and the night i had my dui, i was drinking because i was upset, there were clearly signs of a problem, but i can tell you each and every drink i had that night. and when she calculated to see if my bac was about right for the drinks i told her i had, i was dead on. so im not saying you dont haev a problem, im just saying that i hope that that wasnt the judge.

  23. #23
    242_fair
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    ^^

    I meant to say that I don't stop until I am drunk.

    It sounds like you had a very detailed session, more so than myself when I checked into detox. But I was so fucked up when I arrived at the hospital that maybe the Dr didn't want to drag things out / or he could have sensed I was ittirable and might have left if he pushed the wrong buttons.

  24. #24
    242_fair
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    Default Re: Addictions & Being Clean and Sober

    Quote Originally Posted by DylanAngel View Post

    I think the hardest part is trying to remove yourself from situations that might make you relapse. For me, I had to give up some very dear friends. They were (are) fantastic people, but, being with them made it easy for me to slip back down that slope.
    Well one of my ONLY girlfriends is also my dealer (for like 3 years). She was here with me in Egypt for 1 month and as soon as she left I went into rehab. It is kinda sad because I thought of her as a friend, but all the time I was always dancing around the fact that she is feeding /encouraging my addiction.

    She is from an island near Jamaca, and goes on, and on, and on, ad nausieum (!!!!)about how weed is perfectly acceptable in her 'culture', i.e. its normal to be high all day, normal to get high around kids, normal to drive drunk and high. She came here and tried to score drugs everywhere, my husband did his best to put his foot down from the minute she came from the airport, which I believe caused a lot more hard feelings between them than she let on.

    I told her I was going into rehab and I havn't heard from her since. So I guess that speaks for itself and its time to stop talking to her now. Which is sad but I think I can find friends who are more healthy and straight with me.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by 242_fair View Post
    I told her I was going into rehab and I havn't heard from her since. So I guess that speaks for itself and its time to stop talking to her now. Which is sad but I think I can find friends who are more healthy and straight with me.
    Yes, you CAN find friends that fit in with your healthier lifestyle; and you will. It's weird what you look for in a friend when you change the way you yourself live.

    I actually made two very close friends here on SW that I might not have really given the chance to had I still been using. I was so ashamed of myself that I closed myself off to anyone who didn't use.

    It's not easy. It can be very lonely at times. But in the long run you have friends who actually care about YOU and not how fun you are when you're not sober; or worse yet, just like you because you enable them.

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