Recently, I feel like I'm just weird.
Life seems to be flying by. I just graduated from college, and I thought it was supposed to be the time of my life! My friends and I would be working, finally we'd all have our own places, we'd finally have the freedom and resources to have a lot of fun.
Not so much. It seems like all my friends are skipping that "finally independent stage" and are rushing to the next- marriage, kids, etc.
And it scares the hell out of me. For god's sakes, we're all 21 or 22, and they're rushing out to the altar and maternity shops. I'm a bridesmaid in THREE weddings...all my roommates...this year. I have countless baby shwoers to go to, and it freaks me out.
I feel completely alien. First off, I'm not looking towards the future yet. I want to live on my own for a bit, travel for a while, really independent, before I even vaguely consider marriage. And even then, it's not that important to me. I mean, I suppose ideally, I'd like to get married eventually, but it isn't that important. If it happens, yay, but if it doesn't, that's fine too. So many people I know say things like "I have all these goals for life, but if I don't get married, I'll be unfulfilled"...but it's just not that important to me. I know I can have a great life without a marriage.
And I HATE children. No, I won't get over it, no, it won't be different when I have my own. Babies, hell, pregnant women, make me slightly nauseous. You know how some women see a baby, and they coo at it and go crazy to hold it? Yeah, I get this "omg I'm going to throw up" expression.
Yes, I want the pitterpatter of little feet on the stairs- but it better be a dog's.
I don't know. Am I crazy for not looking to the future? Or not caring about marriage? or not wanting kids? I feel like a traitor to women or something.



Reply With Quote
Also i don't think your crazy in the least bit of the matter, you just have to travel down the road less traveled compared to your friends, not a bad thing.

Bookmarks