Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 53

Thread: Cokeheads

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Cokeheads

    Tonight I gave three air-dances to a guy who was whacked out on more cocaine than I've ever seen in my life. He must have done an entire eight ball all by himself and I have no idea why he wasn't in the hospital. I didn't see him do it, but it was pretty obvious.

    As I silently laughed at him, it occurred to me that every cokehead customer is exactly alike. They carry on the same way, they babble the same things, they make identical requests. "I fucking LOVE THIS SONG! Did you pick this? You are fucking AWESOME! Hey, here's some money, yanno, I got tons of money, yeah, I made over ten thousand dollars this week, you should come party with us! Cause yeah, I've got the biggest cock, seriously, hey, the last time I went down on a girl I made her pass out because she came so hard, you should come party with us! Fuck work, you can afford to take a night off, you guys make so much money, yeah, I've been running with strippers since I was like fourteen, totally, come hang out cause I'm gonna FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT, yeah!"

    This one tonight said all that and more, and in the middle of my third air dance (because he was flopping everywhere), he pissed himself. Just peed all over himself. Then he stood up and announced, "I gotta go pee." I laughed and said, "Babe, I think you already did." He looked at me very seriously and replied, "Did I tell you I'm the fourth Beastie Boy?"



    Cokeheads are the funniest customers ever. This guy didn't even notice he was getting air dances, because he was just babbling away the whole time. All I had to do was strike a few poses, smile and nod.

    Anybody got any funny stories about cokehead customers? (Or dancers, for that matter!)

    And if anyone here has a coke problem... may this thread inspire you to quit!

  2. #2
    Tart
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    Too many to count

    But Yek did I tell you

    I'm the 4th Beastie boy

  3. #3
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    ^^^ Seriously, that might be the best come-on line I've ever gotten. Nothing will ever beat the sight of a coked-out douche standing there soaked in his own piss, telling me he's the fourth Beastie Boy.

  4. #4
    sun child
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    Hi-larious.

  5. #5
    Veteran Member josie's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Detroit!
    Posts
    342
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 26 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    I have a love-hate relationship with customers. I love 'em cause they seem to just burn through cash (ahh, the joys of coke dick). I hate 'em cause they never sit still, they never stop talking, and the freaking SWEAT like crazy.


  6. #6
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2002
    Location
    On a sweet muddy river.
    Posts
    6,399
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 78 Times in 43 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    One time, I was dancing for this cokehead. His friends were fighting, and the bouncer was trying to break them up.

    Meanwhile, he's like, "babe, you need to come party at my place, what time do you get done here? cause it's snowing at my place."
    I'm like, "really? It's been warm..."
    The bouncers like, "I called the cops on your fucking friends cause I can't break them up"
    I'm like, "don't worry about that... you don't want me to stop, do you?"

    All of a sudden, there's sirens. He jumps up, practically throws me off his lap, and throws these huge ass bags of white powder on the couch and takes off. I'm not about to touch it with the cops coming in, so I throw a pillow over it and yell for the bouncer.

    A sweet coke head girl, concerned that I might be being molested, pokes her head out of a CR to see what's happening. I explain the situation and she pockets the coke.

    Later, the guy has the nerve to tell the cop that he lost $800 in the couch while I was dancing for him, and the cops come in looking in the couch. I wanted to be like, "dude, it was coke, not cash," but I didn't wanna rat on my fellow stripper.

    (Kaylinn, it's a Fantasy's story.)



  7. #7
    Veteran Member Alia_of_the_Knife's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    746
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 10 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    LMAO. I laughed so hard reading all this. Before I became a stripper, it was very rare for me to be around someone who was on anything more than weed. I would have to say that after I became a stripper I have pretty much became an expert on what drugs people are on and how much.

    My favorite are the methheads.

  8. #8
    cameron_keys
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    I did a champagne room with a guy once who was on so much coke he might has well have been surrounded by a white powdery cloud. About halfway through he tried to whip his dick out, but it was all shriveled. I'm laughing at him, while he is PUNCHING his dick and saying "I'm usually really huge....I've just done a lot of blow tonight I swear". Yeah..I was out of there!

    Used to work with a English girl who I dont think ever slept she did so much coke. One guy I was sitting with at the stage leaned over to tip her and when he leaned back he said "damn...you can SMELL the coke on her". Well..a friend and I were talking to a custie JOKING about how we had gone to the bathroom together a moment ago because we had to do our coke together(the custie knew we were joking..we were being VERY obviously sarcastic) English girl walks by just as we are saying how we left some on the toilet bowl an whips her head around "is it still sniffable?" and runs to the bathroom. We were so tempted to go back and watch her licking the toilet bowl to get any residue off. "is it still sniffable?" became a running joke for a LONG time after that.

  9. #9
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    I've never been around a methhead that I knew about. I'm sure I've been around someone who was on it, but I've never seen meth in use so I don't recognize the symptoms.

    It's funny, but I saw more coke in the film industry than I've ever seen in strip clubs. I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually seen coke in the club, and there aren't many more times I've seen customers noticeably on it. I did it myself a few times when I worked in film, but I was over it before I started stripping. Kinda sad when stripping is cleaner than a day job.

    But ya know... I am still laughing at last night...


  10. #10
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    4,967
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    i guess im a party pooper but since i had a bad coke problem a few years ago i dont find this all that amusing...

    though the beastie boys line was pretty original.

  11. #11
    cameron_keys
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    ^^ hey I drink, but I'll be the first to laugh my ass off at drunken stupidity...even my own.

    So coke issues or not...you have to admit that this is out there behavior.

  12. #12
    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Toronto 4 now...
    Posts
    4,876
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    The methheads just make me sad. Cokeheads are at least funny. Tweakers are awful.

    Hey Yek, ever do a Beastie? It's huge, I swear.

  13. #13
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    *giggle*

    Reminds me of Richard Pryor talking about the stupid sexual stuff that occurs to you when you're coked out. Simple fucking isn't enough, you come out with things like, "I'm gonna go outside and run around the house seven times. Then I'll lie down, and you jump out of the window and land on my dick!"

  14. #14
    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Manhattan
    Posts
    3,432
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    *giggle*

    Reminds me of Richard Pryor talking about the stupid sexual stuff that occurs to you when you're coked out. Simple fucking isn't enough, you come out with things like, "I'm gonna go outside and run around the house seven times. Then I'll lie down, and you jump out of the window and land on my dick!"
    I thought a lot of guys had problems getting it up when they've done blow? I guess everyone's different.

    I can't really tell when someone's on coke (my ex was using it for the last two years of the six years we were together and I found this out after we split up) and even though I've been around people who use it on occasion, most of my friends are pretty hyper and chatty a lot of the time anyway.

    I do have some great stories of customers on E, especially when I worked in New Orleans. They were so damn easy to make money off of. You could literally just rub their shoulder and blow in their ear during a dance and within a few minutes you'd be in VIP letting them talk while you massaged their hand. Good times...
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


  15. #15
    cameron_keys
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    Quote Originally Posted by NinaDaisy View Post
    I do have some great stories of customers on E, especially when I worked in New Orleans. They were so damn easy to make money off of. You could literally just rub their shoulder and blow in their ear during a dance and within a few minutes you'd be in VIP letting them talk while you massaged their hand. Good times...
    Oh I ADORE customers on E! We should seriously spike their drinks with it...all you have to do it scratch your nails down their back or skull and they love you and hand over their wallets. They also are prone to doing anything they are told if you say it will make you happy.....including multiple ATM trips or charging massive amounts of funny money.And when they start coming down a bit..hug them really hard and tell the DJ to flash the strobe lights and they'll blow back up again.

    LOVE them!

  16. #16
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    I've never had a customer on E, but I worked with a girl who dropped it at work a few times. She was too young and too burnt out - I think she was a runaway; she was 20 and had been an escort for a couple of years and she looked about eleven years old, so she got the sleaziest customers - and she HATED dancing. Until this dancer came in selling E one night, and the girl took one and all of a sudden she was Stripper Goddess. She was sliding all around the place rubbing on the other dancers, rubbing herself, feeling wonderful, and you should've seen her dance. It was hot air sex. She did that every night for about a week and then the dealer got fired, and she went back to her sullen, mechanical slinking around. Kind of sad, but she was hot on E.

    And Nina, yeah, most guys have a really hard time getting it up but if you hit them at the right time they can get it up and then it won't go down. And they come up with the CRAZIEST sex ideas. K and I have had a few attempts at coke sex but it always left us both irritable and frustrated; he still does it occasionally and then there's no sex for a week or so because he'll masturbate until all the skin is raw and peeling. It does make you pretty horny. It's sort of like Paxil - you get really horny, but can't do much about it.

  17. #17
    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Toronto 4 now...
    Posts
    4,876
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    Custies on E are easy money!! And going to the strip club rolling is so much fun. I can't leave with any more money than cab fare. Strippers feel good

  18. #18
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    ^ hahaha, i just told someone that it's a damn good thing you live nowhere near the east coast, because i can see myself getting in serious trouble with you

  19. #19
    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    1,557
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    Damn I love E. I'm not afraid to admit it, but if I did it at work I'd get addicted to probably making alot of money on it, then I'd never want to stop taking it.

    I never had a customer on E, had some custies on coke, they were amusing but not bad.

    ETA: I'd take a cokehead any day over a really really drunk dude.

  20. #20
    Tart
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    ^ I agree. Id take a cokehead too over a drunk.

    Drunks are MEAN and pukey. Yuck

    Not that sweaty cokeheads are much better. But I'll take the lesser of the 2 evils in the strip club

  21. #21
    God/dess
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5,170
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 16 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    OMG, Yek! FUN-NEE!

    Glad you can laugh at it. I was dancing for a cokehead the other night and he was just downright irritating, and he thought he was the funniest guy in the fucking world. This one seriously got on my nerves, I wanted to smack the shit outta him! He seriously would not shut the fuck up the whole time I was dancing for him! He used to be a male stripper...oh yeah...he was also related to X amount of celebrities! BLAH! BLAH! BLAHHHH!!!!! AAARRRGGGHHH! I'm so glad I got away from his ass and haven't seen him since.

    *frantically knocks HARD on wood*



  22. #22
    AlexxaHex
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    Quote Originally Posted by NinaDaisy View Post

    I do have some great stories of customers on E, especially when I worked in New Orleans. They were so damn easy to make money off of. You could literally just rub their shoulder and blow in their ear during a dance and within a few minutes you'd be in VIP letting them talk while you massaged their hand. Good times...
    YESSSS! I've danced for guys on E before and it's super easy to get repeat dances! You barely have to rub on them at all and they're shuddering and moaning. And whenever I am around people who are on a particular substance (especially E) I sort of pick up on the vibe and feel a little "rolly" myself. DEFINITELY good times.

  23. #23
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Another Country
    Posts
    18,664
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 148 Times in 100 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    I LOOOOOOOVE the guys on E! I got paid $800 for two hours of letting them massage my LEGS once because I was 'so soft'. Those guys spend money on the dumbest things and you hardly have to do ANYTHING. Even my boss, when talking about it with me said, "Don't you LOVE those guys? They're so innocent and don't take much at all.. and it's SO much better than dealing with a drunk guy." And it IS! More guys should take E. hahaha.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  24. #24
    sun child
    Guest

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    ^ Yeah, we should dose them right as they walk in the door (=

  25. #25
    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Manhattan
    Posts
    3,432
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Cokeheads

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    And whenever I am around people who are on a particular substance (especially E) I sort of pick up on the vibe and feel a little "rolly" myself. DEFINITELY good times.
    Dude! I can totally relate to that! OMG!

    The funny thing is that I can't usually tell if I'm around someone who is on coke (but it seems like almost everyone in NYC does it) but if they tell me they're on it or I see them do it, I get buzzy myself, like I've had too much espresso or something.

    I've done coke maybe three times and never really got what the big deal is. That's probably a good thing. One of the times was with the last guy I dated though, and the sex wasn't any more insane than it always was, but other than that it doesn't make me horny and I don't feel "euphoric" or even especially great on it. I have felt the crash the next day though.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •