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Thread: Need Advice

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Sad Need Advice

    I'm needing some advice, im obviously a female and recently ive been going to a strip club, curious to know what goes on in there, im 100% lesbian.
    so anyway ive been goin to this strip club every two weeks and ive got a favourite dancer, shes absolutely gorgeous ive never met a girl with looks as well as an amazing personality like her before, i regularly get lap dances,. the thing is im kinda developing feelings for her. She told me that she has feelings for me but when i ask her can we be friends out of the club she says no, ive really had a connection with anyone like her before she tells me she thinks about me alot and ive told her the same. I really dont know what to do, am i just infatuated with this girl? i mean is this what strippers do to get money? play with peoples feelings?.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    *yawn* troll

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    Senior Member tronie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    what does troll mean... Im assuming you arent calling this chick out as having lack luster looks, right?

  4. #4
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    If this isn't a troll, because I'm in a helpful mood:

    The girl's job is basically to provide a tailored fit fantasy for you. She subtly molds her hustle to fit exactly what she thinks you want. Obviously by your post she sounds like she has done her job well. You have no way of knowing if what she's telling you is real or "stripper shit", but judging by the fact that she won't meet you outside the club, I think it's safe to say she's saying what she knows you want to hear just so you'll keep spending on her.

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by tronie View Post
    what does troll mean... Im assuming you arent calling this chick out as having lack luster looks, right?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_%28Internet%29
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by girlcrazy30 View Post
    i mean is this what strippers do to get money? play with peoples feelings?.
    yes it is.

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    shes done her job well? .. so by your opinion whats she has been saying to me is just stripper talk, just for the money aye.

    So when she says that she missed me its just for the money?

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    by the way

    whats a troll?

  9. #9
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Look at the link Lestat posted.

    Yes, when she says she misses you, she is doing her job well. Don't you think if she really missed you and liked you she'd want to meet you outside of the club?

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    I didnt post to offend in anyway, just wanted some advice and maybe
    the wording was wrong to an effect.

    Ok its part of her job, I get it now

    thanx for the feedback much appreciated

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Just cant really get it through my head, i like her so much

    Maybe i should stay away from there?

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by girlcrazy30 View Post
    Just cant really get it through my head, i like her so much

    Maybe i should stay away from there?
    If you're not enjoying it, or expecting something, it's best to stay away till you can be rational about it, yes.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    If you're not enjoying it, or expecting something, it's best to stay away till you can be rational about it, yes.


    Its not that im not enjoying it, i enjoy her company and conversations, theres just some type of connection, maybe im just thinking that. Maybe infatuation is playing a major part as well. Im not expecting anything from her, she has a daughter and told me that she doesnt know what she wants but her daughter is the most important part of her life at the moment which is totally understandable she said she has no time for a girlfriend at the moment, so maybe your right and i should take the hint to stay away.
    Last edited by girlcrazy30; 08-25-2007 at 09:26 PM.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Right, but you're pulling a mental quagmire here. You are enjoying it, but you're not. Always fail on the negative until you can step back and really rationalize it. IF THERE IS A CONNECTION THERE and you want to pursue it, you owe it to yourself to at least, considering the environment, to step back, look at it, and be sure it's just not a passing interest you're working on.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    Right, but you're pulling a mental quagmire here. You are enjoying it, but you're not. Always fail on the negative until you can step back and really rationalize it. IF THERE IS A CONNECTION THERE and you want to pursue it, you owe it to yourself to at least, considering the environment, to step back, look at it, and be sure it's just not a passing interest you're working on.

    I see your point, and ive been telling myself over and over again not to go back there, i dont go to the sc every week, its just a once in a while thing but the only reason is to go there to see her, but your right i need to step back.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Yea, just long enough for you to see the situation clearly enough for YOU to decide for YOURSELF how you want to proceed. You're just confusing yourself with all the smoke and mirrors you're doing to yourself. No biggie.

    Just glad you don't need to have a penis to be afflicted by this disease
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    It doesnt really matter whether i want to proceed or not, if shes not interested than theres nothing i can do about it right.

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    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    She can mean it when she says she missed you anbd still not want a relationship OTC.

    She could enjoy dancing for you, appreciate you as a customer, and be grateful for the money you spend on her. This would mean she misses you when you don't come in.

    But it does not necessarily mean she wants a relationship with you. Probably she does not want one.

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    Senior Member tronie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    well. i have to say shed meet you outside the club if she was really into you.

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    Senior Member tronie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by girlcrazy30 View Post
    It doesnt really matter whether i want to proceed or not, if shes not interested than theres nothing i can do about it right.
    correct.. theres nothing to proceed with .. sounds like youve tried.. and havent gotten her number and havent met up with her.... theres nothing there.


    Quote Originally Posted by UtahMike View Post

    She could enjoy dancing for you, appreciate you as a customer, and be grateful for the money you spend on her. This would mean she misses you when you don't come in.

    But it does not necessarily mean she wants a relationship with you. Probably she does not want one.

    soo soo true.. obviously she likes dancing for you.. its not that she dislikes you but maybe she doesnt have romantic feelings..


    and.. im officially beating a dead horse.. sorry for that.

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by tronie View Post
    well. i have to say shed meet you outside the club if she was really into you.

    yep ive tryed, guess im just a client to her, and originally was my fault for thinking that anything could eventuate

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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Most dancers don't mix their work and private lives.

    They come in to work, switch off their real life personality, and switch on their "stripper" one. There can be a substantial difference between the two. There's a good chance that the side of her you see at work doesn't reflect real life.

    Next - all dancers get hit on regularly for phone numbers, etc. It's because they're pretty and desirable and available. Equally well, most dancers don't want to see people outside of work that they see in their work environment. Requests for phone numbers become background noise to them.

    However, there are definately people they like seeing in the work environment.

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahMike View Post
    She could enjoy dancing for you, appreciate you as a customer, and be grateful for the money you spend on her. This would mean she misses you when you don't come in.
    If you've been polite to her, talked to her decently and brought dances from her, she'll probably like it when you turn up at the club. Beats spending time with an assh*le customer.

    However, you've got to remember that she's there to earn money. She does that by being a fantasy figure - what she tells you may not be what she tells the next person she dances for.

    You've also got to look at sexual orientations. You're a lesbian - she may be 100% hetrosexual. That could mean that she's comfortable dancing for you, but has no interest in a sexual relationship with you.

    As has been suggested earlier in this thread, I'd take a deep breath and consider what to do.

    If you've seriously smitten by this dancer and really want a relationship with her, I'd stay away. You may be pursuing the unattainable.

    If you can treat it as an enjoyable interlude, then go in and see her. There's a decent possibility she'll genuinely enjoy your company as long as you're happy to keep things within the club.

    It is a fantasy, and to paraphrase Mast - you don't have to have a penis to enjoy the view. It is escapism and there's nothing to say you shouldn't enjoy a dance as much as us guys do.

    Finally - if you do go back in - relax - you've got nothing to lose.

    Just enjoy her company for an hour or two, accept it for what it is - erotic entertainment - and leave with a smile on your face.

    Phil.

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    Most dancers don't mix their work and private lives.

    They come in to work, switch off their real life personality, and switch on their "stripper" one. There can be a substantial difference between the two. There's a good chance that the side of her you see at work doesn't reflect real life.

    Next - all dancers get hit on regularly for phone numbers, etc. It's because they're pretty and desirable and available. Equally well, most dancers don't want to see people outside of work that they see in their work environment. Requests for phone numbers become background noise to them.

    However, there are definately people they like seeing in the work environment.



    If you've been polite to her, talked to her decently and brought dances from her, she'll probably like it when you turn up at the club. Beats spending time with an assh*le customer.

    However, you've got to remember that she's there to earn money. She does that by being a fantasy figure - what she tells you may not be what she tells the next person she dances for.

    You've also got to look at sexual orientations. You're a lesbian - she may be 100% hetrosexual. That could mean that she's comfortable dancing for you, but has no interest in a sexual relationship with you.

    As has been suggested earlier in this thread, I'd take a deep breath and consider what to do.

    If you've seriously smitten by this dancer and really want a relationship with her, I'd stay away. You may be pursuing the unattainable.

    If you can treat it as an enjoyable interlude, then go in and see her. There's a decent possibility she'll genuinely enjoy your company as long as you're happy to keep things within the club.

    It is a fantasy, and to paraphrase Mast - you don't have to have a penis to enjoy the view. It is escapism and there's nothing to say you shouldn't enjoy a dance as much as us guys do.

    Finally - if you do go back in - relax - you've got nothing to lose.

    Just enjoy her company for an hour or two, accept it for what it is - erotic entertainment - and leave with a smile on your face.

    Phil.

    Thanx phil

    She told me that shes bi and just recently broke up with her boyfriend cause they werent working out. I dont know if half the things she tells me is true or not, but she seems really genuine, whether or not thats just her stripper side i dont know.
    Im not looking for a relationship with her, when i asked her if we could just be friends she told me thats theres to much sexual tension between us and that friendship wouldnt be possible, she said she cares about me and thinks about alot, so i dont know what to think, im gonna step back for a while

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    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Well, there's your answer. Enjoy the dances, but find someone else for a girlfriend.

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    Member girlcrazy30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahMike View Post
    Well, there's your answer. Enjoy the dances, but find someone else for a girlfriend.

    yep i will

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