
Originally Posted by
jhuka
I completely understand your situation--I'm in the same one myself. In my case I've had to admit that, while I've been doing my best to be a "friend" I've been secretly hoping, somehow, that we would get back together. I didn't even realize how deeply I felt this until recently, when I heard something about her and the new guy she is seeing and felt a wave of bitterness go through me. I realize I'm living for something that happened some time ago, but is not there anymore.
Maybe in your case you'll get back together--I hope so, if that is what you want. But keeping up the connection is dangerous, right now, for me: I keep trying to act unconcerned about it, but everytime I hear about her I fall into that dark tornado and I'm back in the whole thing again. So I'm backing away from it. As much as I love her, and want to hear from her, it is just too painful.
It seems to me that even if you DO want to get back together it might be a good thing to put some distance into it, so you don't feel like a "third wheel" and she doesn't expect that you'll always be there, hoping.
Strange how, once you're intimate with someone, it is so hard to swim to the surface again, to that level of "friendship". I wish you luck with this--I think you're doing better than I am with it!
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