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Thread: house guests from hell, or is it me?

  1. #1
    mermaidnz
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    Default house guests from hell, or is it me?

    i recently put up two friends for 2 weeks- i paid food, rent, drinks, everything the whole time, my bf drove them around, picked them up from the airport (over an hour away at 6am!) cooked and cleaned for them the whole time.

    not once did they offer to do the dishes (we have a dishwasher so its not like it was a hassle for them really) and the only time they ever half hartedly offered to pay for their food in a resturant was once, and it was well after the bill had been paid.

    the day they left, they left rubbish in the shower, didnt bother putting their dirty towles in the washing machine or even strip the bed of their used sheets. i cleaned the kitchen,bathroom and toilet daily, it was all such a mess from them, they couldnt even empty the dishwasher!

    we dropped them off at the airport, and the thanks we got was a mumbled 'thanks' as we got back in the car.

    rude much?

    or are we just ocd overly pedantic about living in a tidy apartment, and put too much stress on politness by our guests?

    we have a thing about 'the offer' if they had offered to give us money or offered to clean, wed have said no anyways, but its nice to have someone be polite and do the right thing, ya know?

    i know im gonna lose a friend over this, ive already sent a few nasty emails about their lack of behaviour.and help-much to their anger i guess. i just need someone else to say im in the right here!

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Snowles's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    I agree with you completely. Whenever a friend lets me stay at his/her place, I make sure to not make a mess, clean up after myself, and help out whenever and wherever I can. It's just common courtesy, and day after day it seems like it's getting to be less common.

    It all boils down to "Treat others the way you want them to treat you." I don't leave my friends' places a mess, because I don't want them to do the same to me, and because it's just not the right thing to do.

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  3. #3
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    phew! thanks, i was pretty sure it was a bit of a unwritten rule, if your a guest your not 'expected' to clean and pay, but you offer all the same.


    whats really scary is the dude is a bank manager!! lazy fucker even left cups by the dishwasher cos he 'didnt know how to stack it' wtf?!

  4. #4
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    I was always told that when I visit people's homes, leave things as they were when I found them. What they did was rude.

  5. #5
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    Yeah, they should have offered, but at the same time if you didn't ask you don't really have a right to be mad.



  6. #6
    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    That's so damn rude! How good of a friend was that, cause I know that all my friends who visit are extremely polite and always offering to help with stuff and pay for things. I always appreciate the good intentions but in your case, it looks like they didn't even show you that.

  7. #7
    242_fair
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    Recent houseguest in Egypt... took a mini-trip to the sea to scuba-dive - intentionally came back on bus arriving at 5am!!! I know what you mean.
    Last edited by 242_fair; 08-28-2007 at 10:06 AM.

  8. #8
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    omfg 242! thats horrific! maybe your friend is related to mine somehow? or at least subject themselves to the same school of thought "everyone in the wolrd is my maid"

    lol

    Lena, we asked them to help, the first time they thought i was joking and laughed it off, i came home and it hadnt been done, so i screamed at them to do it. we had so many conversations about people being lazy, housework etc and they didnt get the hint. dense imo.

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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    I alwyas try to do something, even if I'm opnly visting for the day. While I may not do dishes, I'll offer gas money, take people out for lunch/dinner, etc.

    I always find its not the fact that you did one thing or the other, but, you atleast offered.

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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    I think they should have helped. House guests deserve some ammount of special treatment, because they are guests, but they aren't guests in a bed and breakfast for goodness sake.

    When I visit my parents, I still do all of my dishes, wash my clothes, cook them several meals, and strip off and wash my sheets when I leave. And this is family. No one deserves to have rude people in their home.

    I'm only 21, but when my friends visit my home, they are respectful and clean up after themselves. I think that you are in the right. If they want to end the friendship over this, they probably weren't good friends anyway. Real friends show respect.

  11. #11
    242_fair
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    No better way to judge a friend than to share a house for a week or so. You got your answers. You are not crazy, they are just rude.

  12. #12
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    On the one hand, they should have helped out...on the other, when you realized that PigPen 1 and PigPen 2 were not going to help, you should have let them know that they should find a local hotel/motel where cleaning ladies are happy to have messy people because it takes longer to clean the rooms and helps them make more money.

    I think you have the right to be angry/annoyed for the mess the first day or so...after that, it was your fault for allowing them to stay and continue to be messy, rude moochers.

    Sorry.

  13. #13
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    Yeah, they should have offered, but at the same time if you didn't ask you don't really have a right to be mad.

    I agree with this sometimes we have to communicate what we want and not expect people to know. you could have stayed you were going dutch before going to a resteraunt and asked them to strip the sheets before they left. It dose not exusse there rudeness but it could of helped ease the situation.

  14. #14
    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    I think expecting them to strip the sheets is a bit much. I get weirded out when my guests make the bed.

    You should expect them not to make a mess of your apartment though. There is no excuse for rudeness, and it would have been nice if they had at least offered to help with the dishes (although my guests rarely do that either).

  15. #15
    Veteran Member pink_staR's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    That's so rude!

  16. #16
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    you know what they say about fish and visitors, right? They both stink after 3 days.


  17. #17
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    I don't think you're crazy. I think yes, they should have made an attempt to be cleaner in your house, and unless they were in a bad situation financially that everyone knew about, they should have offered to help pay for al the food they ate.

    As far as other clean up, like stripping the sheets, I would have asked them "Hey, do you mind stripping down the bed before you go?" something like that.

    But as a rule, when you are visiting someone's house, you leave things the way you found them. If the bathroom is tidy, you clean up after yourself. If the kitchen is clean, you rinse your dishes and stack them too. Like other people, I get weirded out when ym guest start cleaning up around my house, but a guest staying a week or more, yah, they'de better pitch in or I'll ask them too. (Hands on the hips, head cocked, mommy-style too!)




  18. #18
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    I guess it does sound like they were a little disrespectful.

    However I want to thank you for this post, because it gives me some more ideas as to how to be a polite houseguest when I stay with someone

  19. #19
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    I definitely think you were in the right. after 3-4 days, you are no longer just a guest. I feel that you are part of my family, and therefore should have to abide by house rules. It isn't too much to ask to pick up after yourself. You aren't a maid, and this isn't a hotel.

    However, I wouldn't have screamed at them. Perhaps they didn't know that it upset you, and you should have talked to them calmly.

    Hopefully you don't lose a friendship over this, it'd be sad to see that happen...
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  20. #20
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    ditto exoticengineer's and snowles's thoughts. as long as they take care of themselves i'm more than fine.

    if they offer to help, all the better but at least don't leave a mess! some friggin' courtesy, puhhleeeze!

  21. #21
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    I just wanted to add that some guests are completely clueless on house guest etiquette. Maybe your friends were too.

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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    Even in my present state I cooked the main coarse three days for 9 people and I always pull the sheets off the bed and replace with new ones when I leave . Hell I even use the squeegee in the bathroom for the shower glass ( I don't think the ownner did that lol ) But when you are a guest my rule is you offer the host shouldn't have to ask !

  23. #23
    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    Quote Originally Posted by BrunetteGoddess View Post
    I just wanted to add that some guests are completely clueless on house guest etiquette. Maybe your friends were too.
    I don't see how anyone could be that clueless. I mean they are grown adults, they had to have been exposed to manners in some form during their lives.

    Wow mermaid, I wouldn't have put up with that as well as you have. I think it's a different situation since you were also providing them with transportation and food and all that, so it takes it onto another level. Very rude. You don't need friends like that anyway.

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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    I think they were rude. But I also think they took advantage of you because you allowed them to. It's ridiculous to me that you paid for all their meals in restaurants!

  25. #25
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: house guests from hell, or is it me?

    Can I come visit you? I can't afford a hotel or to dine out so you can just pay for everything instead, okay?

    You are right. They were rude. I've been a house guest many, many times and I'll clean up after myself and even wash the bedding before I leave. (If the bed needs to be made up, I'll do that, too).

    The people I stayed with would make a polite show of saying "Oh, you don't have to do that..." Which really means that they are just being polite and I'm supposed to "insist" that I take care of my own mess.

    Did they at least bring a gift? That is also customary when being a house guest to bring a gift to the hostess.


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