Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: A tame but "icky" experience

  1. #1
    Member Penny Lane's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Georgia, USA
    Posts
    26
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default A tame but "icky" experience

    Something happened tonight that is definitely mild in comparison to some of the things you ladies have experienced, but it didn't set right with me. A little background info, I've spent the last two years working at a NO-contact, dance on the table, no alcohol club, with the exception of a month and half spent at a lap dance/alcohol club where I started drinking too much and decided I wanted to leave before I developed a serious problem, and I also spent about a month traveling to clubs in San Francisco, El Paso, Louisville, Myrtle Beach, and Augusta, all of which were high contact/alcohol clubs.

    I recently left my home club for good, too much political bullshit, and I have started working in a club with alcohol and low mileage on the floor and a "no sex acts" policy but whatever else in VIP, and at this point I honestly don't know just how strictly that is enforced. I've been in situations in my two years of dancing where my boundaries were pushed, but tonight I felt they were crossed.

    Did a dance for this guy on the floor, another girl had told him about dances in more private areas for 20 instead of 10, he wanted to do a couple of those, so we headed over there, he asks about VIP and decides to do 30 minutes. The whole time we're chatting, he seems really nice, trying to be discreet about heading off to VIP because he's there with people that work for him. Well, we get to the VIP area at like, exactly 30 minutes before close, so the waitress has to run off and make sure we can still go, takes awhile to come back, then has to run and get the keys, etc, so it took like 20 minutes to actually get into the room. So we get into VIP, and I mean, I basically just disperse a little grinding into my normal air dance, and I tell him he can touch my outer thighs, my ass, and my boobs, but he cannot touch anywhere between my legs or my ass cheeks, and he's cool with that, so I'm dancing and while I'm grinding and leaning back against him he says he wants me to grind hard and make him cum. And I'm not really okay with it, but I'm like, he's not asking me to fuck him, so I kind of half-ass grind because I want to keep the money and I don't want to make a big deal out of it, and he keeps holding my hips down on him, and 1) my knees are killing me in this position, and 2) it's my 3rd day at this club and I really don't want the waitress peeking in and thinking I'm fucking this guy, so I stand up and face him and he forcefully pulls my knee against his crotch and has me rub him til he cums. And I was just like "ew".

    I love the dancing, I love the socializing, and I usually love the sensuality, the seduction part of it. But this was just not cool to me. Am I whining about nothing? And if I'm this bothered about it when much much worse could have happened, do I need to be doing the job? I really like this club as a whole, and I'm NOT going back to my home club, but I don't know what to think, help me out ladies, and thanks for listening to me vent.
    Last edited by Penny Lane; 08-30-2007 at 09:57 AM.

  2. #2
    Callyish
    Guest

    Default Re: A tame but "icky" experience

    Welcome to working in a contact, grinding club. Use a towel when your grinding, put it on the guys lap that way there is a barrier between your ass and his crotch.

    I know its nasty but thats just how the industry is turning.

    Also.. break up your post some. Its all one large run on paragraph and very hard to read

  3. #3
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2002
    Location
    On a sweet muddy river.
    Posts
    6,399
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 78 Times in 43 Posts

    Default Re: A tame but "icky" experience

    If you're gonna have boundaries (which obviously, you gotta have) you have to set them and enforce them. I like to push them back and be like, "hey, let me have control, it'll be better for you."



  4. #4
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: A tame but "icky" experience

    ^^^ Definitely. You have to enforce your own boundaries! I work in contact clubs and I do not take requests, especially not "grind harder so I can come." I'm not a blowup doll and I'm not here to get you off. I make plenty of money sending guys home with blue balls, and there is no reason whatsoever to make exceptions. This guy had no right to expect money back for your refusal to masturbate him, and you would have been well within your rights to tell him no.

  5. #5
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    9,746
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 50 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: A tame but "icky" experience

    Yeah, you don't have to do that.

    It is difficult, sometimes, to say "no" when they put that baldly. But you can always say "Ow, this is hurting me, man" and you can always say "I just have to change positions." I mean - me, honestly, I don't care that much as long as they warn me (I know, I know, I'm numb and dead on the inside) and as long as I'm reasonably well compensated. But by changing positions and stuff you can kind of "reset" them a little.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  6. #6
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    The VIP room
    Posts
    3,621
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked 187 Times in 58 Posts

    Default Re: A tame but "icky" experience

    You definitely don't have to put up with that. There are plenty of us who work in a contact environment who DO NOT get gusy off in any way, shape, or form. Don't let them try to convince you otherwise.
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

  7. #7
    Picaresque
    Guest

    Default Re: A tame but "icky" experience

    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post
    You definitely don't have to put up with that. There are plenty of us who work in a contact environment who DO NOT get gusy off in any way, shape, or form. Don't let them try to convince you otherwise.
    agreed.

  8. #8
    Featured Member dangerousdiva's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Saint to Sin
    Posts
    1,268
    Thanks
    31
    Thanked 63 Times in 36 Posts

    Default Re: A tame but "icky" experience

    Sorry this happened to you.

    I work in a very high contact club with alcohol and I never put up with grinding till they cum. Always get the money up front and never promise something you are not going to deliver, then you never get bullied or guilted into giving the money back and if you get uncomfortable quit the dance.

    Maybe I'm just cut throat, but I've had a drunk guy spend two hours with me and then get the CC bill, cry and show me pictures of his kids! Did I give him a break? NO! He consented to the dances and I didn't trick him. You are in control back there, always remember that!

    Define your boundaries, whatever they are, and always enforce them. Sometimes this means missing out on money but you'll make more in the long run because you haven't compromised yourself.

    Hope you feel better and Good Luck!

  9. #9
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    1,164
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 46 Times in 27 Posts

    Default Re: A tame but "icky" experience

    First of all, you NEVER have to do anything you are not comfortable with. Don't let money fuck with what your boundaries are. If you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable. YOU are more important than the money.

    Secondly, YOU are in control. No matter who you are dancing for, you are in control. You call the shots. You make the rules. No exceptions. Because you are worth it. It may seem like the person holding the money is in control, and he may think he is because he holds the money, but he is NOT in control. You are the one that can walk away at any time.

    As the previous post says, get your money up front for private dances and VIP sessions. That way if you feel you are in a situation that you need to get out of, you have every right to walk away. If the guy has overstepped your boundaries and/or club rules, you have every right to keep his money. This is of course, if you use an ethical hustle and are not promising what you do not intend to deliver.

    I just moved from a no-contact club that did not allow ANY grinding to a no -contact club that openly accepts grinding in the open dance area as well as light touching. You know what? I don't care. I'm not comfortable with being touched or jacking some guy's dick off with my ass, leg, etc. So I don't do it. And I still make good money. I don't do it in VIP either. They pretty much get the same shit in VIP as they do out on the floor. I treat the VIP rooms as private areas for talking, cuddling, back rubbing, telling funny stories, sharing drinks, and sensual no-contact dancing. If the guy doesn't like it, then fine, don't spend a VIP with me again. If you can play by my rules, then we'll be great friends, and we'll have a great time together. If not, it's no sweat off my back. We don't have to do business again. After all, the customer may think that he's picking me, but I actually decide who I want to do business with in the club.

    Call me a prude, but I'm entitled to make my own rules for my own body, and you are too. This business is no excuse for you to let down your guard if you don't want to.

    I would not beat yourself up over this awkward situation. Rather use it as a learning experience for yourself, and re-think how you would act and react if you had the chance to do it over. Visualize how you would act, and think of what you would say. The next time you're in a similar situation, you will feel so much more confident. I don't think you did anything wrong. It's just that you sound like you feel you compromised yourself. And your feelings are really fucking important. More so than the money.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


Similar Threads

  1. "Hun," "Baby," "Darlin'" and other endearing terms
    By Chicagoeditor in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 74
    Last Post: 10-29-2013, 04:02 PM
  2. My "free Cam Site" Experience.
    By BuffyFlame in forum Other Work
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-24-2011, 07:47 PM
  3. Work experience...the "breast implants" for a resume?
    By PhillyDancer1982 in forum Other Work
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-11-2007, 09:22 PM
  4. College Transfer "Job Experience"
    By AngelEyezXYZ in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 12-04-2004, 09:05 AM
  5. do you enjoy the "boyfriend experience"
    By Joe12601 in forum General Board
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 07-30-2003, 11:30 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •