You will have to excuse me.
Or not.
Here I am, the snob stripper.
I just have to get this off my chest. If you don't like it, what the hell ever. I'm too old to really care.
You should understand that I love this website. It gives me a sense of camaraderie and support in the wastland that is today's gentleman's club arena. I appreaciate what this does for us,and realize that it is vital to our survival.
HOWEVER:
Some people I've encountered need to hear a few things.
What tripped the trigger for me was seeing someone (in the newbie section) ask how to learn the moves. I understand not knowing. I was there, back in the cold Feb. of 1994. I guess I had a small advantage, being trained since age 6 in jazz, tap, ballet, and piano performances, like some of you have been. Sorry for that. But I had no idea how to get naked in front of people. I had parents raised in the FIFTIES; not sixtes. Restricted is not even the word. I wasn't allowed to buy a Prince album because the cover art was too sexy. The Beatles were "new" for me at age 11 (1985). I had a lot of catching up to do. I did it. Listen to me.
How to learn the moves?
WATCH THE DAMN GIRLS, for hell's sake. How the hell do you think the rest of us figured it out? USE YOUR BRAIN. Jesus. USE YOUR POWERS OF OBSERVATION and YOUR IMAGINATION. DON'T ask some people on a friggin' internet board. TAKE SOME DAMN INITIATIVE and go to the club when you are not working.
WATCH. LISTEN. LEARN. ASK!!!!!! the people you WORK with!
If the managers (god knows they are dumbASSES these days, I know) did NOT take the time to pair you up with an older dancer who knows what she is doing, take the chance and (oh my god!!) ASK one yourself. Ask her to mentor you. Pick one you admire, you like the way she moves, etc. Be POLITE and DEFERENTIAL. Ask her if she will help you learn the RIGHT way to conduct business. Most times, she will be flattered,and will help you. If she is not/does not, ok, find another, or just sit back and WATCH. You will still learn, if you try.
This is your chosen job. Don't give me the bullshit that you HAVE to do this, or you have no other choice, whatever. I don't want to hear that. This is a choice, just like any other. If you are not comfortable, there is McDonald's down the street. We don't want anyone here who does not want to be here. You make our job ten times harder. Get a grip. This isn't easy or everyone would be successful at it. You can see clearly that is not the case, so adjust your attitude or get the hell outta dodge.
This is not an easy job. Those that think this is easy money, either 1) you are idiots; or 2) have the natural gift for it, in which case you need to sit back, take stock, and do the right thing: Learn the right way to DO the job. Or you won't last long. Oh, yes, really. Count the cost. Talk to me in ten years.
I will tell you. It takes at least 3 to 5 years to get this job right. Some fewer, some longer. It took me awhile to really feel I had a handle on it. Had to get my brain out of the way in some instances. If you still think this job is about sex, go home. If you still think you need to grind to get a regular, think again. Yes, I said it, and I fucking mean it.
I have the guy I gave my second dance ever to, still coming in to see me; still asking my friends at the club when I will be in. He is not an ugly broke loser, either. I give him the respect of not taking every bit of his money because he is a human being. Get over that, too. (ooh, look, she sucks because she's not all about the money! oooo! How stupid,you may think...well, I still love my job. And by the way; I have NEVER done coke or almost any other drug while working, except one. You can guess about that one - the sensual one. On my son's head. I do drink, but not to the point of stupidity..anymore)
Money is money. Make your money. Don't sell your soul by fucking customers OVER for money. THAT is how you lose your soul - not by selling sex. If you choose to meet a custie OTC, that is your biz. I don't like you making your deals in the club, but I am old enough to know that I will not stop that . I ask you to keep it quiet. Keep your shit to yourself. That benefits BOTH you and me. If you don't understand how, I can't explain that one. Sorry.
On THAT note; keep your drugs to yourself too. I really don't give a shit what drug you want to do, just don't fuck up my night, or MONEY, because of it. If you gotta do something, do it in the back, and/or in a CLOSED bathroom stall. Shut the hell up about it on the floor. No one wants to hear that crap. If you are too fucked up to maintain, have some damn pride about your self to not make your dumb ass look any dumber, and take it home. No one's going to blame you for that, it's a smart decision. We've all been there. My personal feeling is that coke makes most people assholes, and they will stab you in the back because of it, but what the hell ever; I'm smart enough to know I'm not going to stop you from doing it. But don't you bug out when you are a bitch and I call your shit about it. It's your fuck up; not mine. I will maintain and act like a lady; or I will go home. You will not get respect if you act like a cokehead all the time. ("Gee, I wonder why that girl is sitting with my custie?")
Don't drain all of a guy's money on his first visit, or his first time meeting you. You'll never see him again, or you will end up like the girl who asked me last time I worked. "What is wrong with me? He got a dance from you, but he won't even speak to me! I used to get dances from him all the time, since he first started coming in here!?"
Because, you dumbass, you were too greedy and thought this was all about the money.
LOOK AHEAD. MAKE LONG-TERM CUSTOMERS. DON'T PISS THEM OFF!!!
SHeesh.
BE NICE!!
This is common sense. If you don't have any.....
When you sit back, and OBSERVE; you will figure out what customer is worth cultivating, and which one to take for all he's worth. Sure, they are there, but you have to be able to discern the difference. Watch the body language. Get a clue. If you can't figure that out, then you really should find another job.
Learn this stuff for yourself. A little guidance is good, but things you learn on your own are the things that stay with you. Stand in your five-to-seven inch heels for yourself. Be a woman. Grab your balls and go.
And...
no matter what a rap video says, this job is not for anyone. Either come in to make your money and get the hell out, or take it seriously and do it because you love it. Those of us who do love it, have no patience anymore for those of you who don't. Sure, it's not perfect. Oooo. What the hell ever. It is true life, and good work, and when the club is boomin'; and the manager has his mouth shut; and the dj has his groove on; and the waitresses & bartender have the drinks on time; when you are onstage and all eyes are on you, and you KNOW YOU ARE THE SHIT (but so are all the other girls, look...isn't she fuckin' sexy?) and the customers are SCREAMING the song!When that guy you are dancing for has his "O" face on,and it makes you feel like superwoman....life...will never be better.EVER.
Nirvana exists in a strip club. It actually, does happen. I have been there. I do know. But you better be ready to learn your part, and to work for it.
Because anything less, is just shit.
Take it upon yourself to learn. This website is a good resource, but NOT a crutch. Nothing is a substitute for cold, hard one-on-one real life learning.
Yes, many a dj is an idiot, but many a one is not. Put yourself in their shoes, and realize they are half of the heart and soul of any club. REALLY learn what their job is all about. Get out of your head and LISTEN to what they are doing. Then, HELP THEM. STICK UP for them to the management if they are right. I have a LOT more to say about this, but if I actually survive the night here on this website, I'll be suprised.
You really are not as replacable as everyone says you are. That will become more apparant as these crucial years go on. Watch...listen...learn..be open...you will get it.
And that's all I have to say about that.
--old, bitchy stripper; signing out.
P.S. Serious Love to you. Oh yes. Really. 'Cause you had the balls to try this job in the first place.



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i hope i can be awesome when i'm older.

My God....


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