12 days ago I went to my pharmacy to get my monthly refill of meds. I dropped them off but the pharmacist called me about 10 minutes later and told me that my insurance had been denied because my Tenncare (Tennessee public insurance, I’m uninsurable) was turned off. He told me to call my caseworker to find out what happened, so I called her as soon as I hung up my phone. She didn’t answer the phone so I left a message about the problem I was having and asked her to call me back as soon as she had a chance because I had less than a week’s worth of medication left. She called me back a few hours later and told me to come to the clinic the next morning and we would fix whatever the problem was.
I went to the clinic that morning like she told me to, at the time she told me to. She wasn’t there, and wasn’t going to be back there the rest of the day. She asked if she could meet me somewhere the next day, and I told her that was fine, but that she needed to know I didn’t have enough meds to make it through the weekend, so I couldn’t wait until the end of the week to see her. I called her first thing Wednesday morning and she told me to come back to the clinic, but when I got there she was gone again, and she had the forms I needed to sign with her in her car, so I had to chase her around town all day. I finally met with her Wednesday afternoon and gave her the list of what I take so she could see what I was dealing with. She told me there was only 1 person on her entire staff that could fix my problem, and he would not be in town until Monday, so I would have to make it through the weekend on my own. Huh? I let her know that wasn’t acceptable because the insurance problem I was dealing with wasn’t my fault, SHE was the one who didn’t do her job and keep my paperwork up because I do everything they tell me to do when they tell me to do it, so she needed to at least give me some options about getting enough meds to make it through the weekend. I ended up at my pharmacy tossing out more than a grand to get a weekend’s worth of meds with the promise that all my problems would be fixed by Monday, and my (private) psychiatrist gave me all the samples he had in his office of the things I could not afford.
Fast forward to Wednesday of this week. I had called my caseworker at least 20 times about my issues not being resolved and she didn’t call me back. I called her boss and least 10 times and she didn’t call me back either. When my caseworker finally got back to me she said she was sorry but she didn’t know when my problems would be fixed, so I would just have to wait. I reminded her that she had an entire clinic with a pharmacy AND a room full of samples that she could give me and she told me that wasn’t an option. Her boss said the same thing, and that it wasn’t their problem to deal with me. I told them more than once I would be out of medicine Friday morning and that I get sick without them. Sick like, I see and hear things and I am dangerous to myself and others in a very violent manner. I begged, pleaded, cried, yelled, and did everything else I knew to do. I was passed off to no less than a dozen people who told me to just go to the ER when I try to kill myself or get arrested and they will help me there.
Why do I have to try and KILL myself or hurt somebody else before I can get the help they have right there in front of them? It’s not my fault I can’t get my meds at a real pharmacy. It’s not my fault my insurance hasn’t been fixed in 12 days. Ok, I’m done ranting. I’m just pissed that I have to get to this point. Grrrr.



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Yeah, I am sure my husband at the time would find me real appealing when I was sweating, pacing the floor and basically felt like death was eminent. Or when they "try" you on various drugs and have very undesirable reactions and they tell you if you have a problem JUST go to the E.R. It's really hard finding good help. Some people honestly don't know how vunerable you feel when on these meds and will do just as little as they can get by then you end up stuck with the oonsequences.







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