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Thread: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    Do you do this? When you hear other people doing this doesn't it make you uncomfortable/upset?

    I'm VERY sensitive to this and I figured it was because of my background in dance, gymnastics, topless dancing, fetish modeling, etc. I HATE when my girlfriends (non-athletic backgrounds) discuss other women's bodies negatively. I almost take it as a personal attack.

    Anyone else here like this? Other people I've known in dance and performance never talk badly about other people's bodies. Unless it's like, muffin tops or something like that.

    People who are in critical fields I guess are more sensitive to other people comments even when the comment isn't even about them. Am I right?

    Or am I being overly sensisitive?

  2. #2
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    Quote Originally Posted by ahmeerah View Post
    .

    Other people I've known in dance and performance never talk badly about other people's bodies. Unless it's like, muffin tops or something like that.

    So its horrible to do unless its about muffin tops or something like that??

    That sounds a bit hypocritical. As in..I would NEVER make fun of anyone..unless you know..they were fat or ugly or something.....

    Either you do or you dont.

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    It might sound hpypocritical but I, personally, don't talk badly about other people's bodies. Other people might talk about a muffin top but I don't.

    My question is: Anyone else here sensitive about this kind of banter too?

    I really hate it when women talk negatively about other women's bodies or even body TYPES.

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    i hate to admit it, but I do this. I'm not proud of it.

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    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    I thinik its just the nature of women. Even the nicest girls catch themselves doing it once in awhile. I try to avoid it, but sometimes comments fly by your lips before you have time to think about it.

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    I think many people, consciously or not, equate attractiveness as some kind of a moral virtue. It's one more thing to gossip about.

    I am so hateful of my own body, but I don't really notice what other people look like. I find it strange and uncomfortable when girls talk about another's body...it's like talking about their sex life. Some things polite society just leaves unsaid.

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    Molly gets it I think. I don't think I'm hateful of my body. I judge it on a level that I know I can change certain things about it. It's a work in progress.

    When my girlfriends talk about other women's bodies I guess I'm thinking that they're judging mine too. I don't mind when their talking about a man's body so much. I don't like it either but I don't take it as personally.

    I can freely compliment another woman's body though. I hate criticizing.

    Quote Originally Posted by mollyzmoon View Post
    I think many people, consciously or not, equate attractiveness as some kind of a moral virtue. It's one more thing to gossip about.

    I am so hateful of my own body, but I don't really notice what other people look like. I find it strange and uncomfortable when girls talk about another's body...it's like talking about their sex life. Some things polite society just leaves unsaid.

  8. #8
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    I'm a gossipy bitch I admit it. Mostly about celebs or random strangers(aka Galmours DONT'S page).

    I do get pissed however when it is done at work. Esp. by custies talking shit about another girl..saying shes too fat, or too skiny or what have you. I get along pretty well with all the girls I work with and I dont take kindly to someone knocking down my girls for no reason.

    On the other hand...I fully expect that people do this to me as well. I'm sure a ton of people have seen me at the club or just wandering around and called me fat or ugly or mocked my clothes and had a nice giggle with their friends. Meh. I dont hear it so I dont care.

  9. #9
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    I am guilty of occasionally doing this. Most of the human race does it (but it doesn't make it right). I have been better at not doing it lately though, and instead try and focus on finding one feature that the person possesses that is beautiful, instead of focusing on the negative.

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    Eh, some guys do this, too. Go to a gym sometime and listen to them, lol...

    I should be sensitive to it, I heard for 20 years or more that I was too skinny, short, etc. I like the way I look now, maybe that's why I don't care when people criticize each other? For whatever reason, it doesn't bother me. I don't know, maybe I've just learned to expect it...
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    My friend does that....about our other friends!!! We went to a bridal shower for one of our old friends who we haven't seen in like 5 years, and when we left she's like "oh she got soooo fat! hahaha!" and she's always like "we are the only ones out of our friends who didn't get fat and ugly haha!". It's really annoying and I always change the subject when she does it. I know she has always been really self conscious...I've known her for 12 years and I've only seen her legs like 5 times. If she talks about other people behind their backs, I wonder what she says about me...

    But, I don't really care because I'm not sensitive about my body. Used to be, but I've grown into a very confident woman so I don't really care if anyone talks about my body.

    And very very rarely do I find myself talking about other people. I think people who do that all the time (we're human, things slip every now and then) have low self esteems and want to make themselves feel better looking than the next.

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    Senior Member nekogirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    I try not to, but it's hard sometimes. I don't talk shit, but it's hard not to get angry when a girl at work just obviously doesn't take care of herself- exercise, hair, clothes. Everyone's body type is different, but I guess I see it as hurting the other girl's money that do try to keep fit and take care of themselves... y'know?

    But sit and gossip about bodies, or take it beyond the above point? No. But, like everyone it seems, I have friends that do.
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    Quote Originally Posted by BrunetteGoddess View Post
    instead try and focus on finding one feature that the person possesses that is beautiful, instead of focusing on the negative.
    I do that too.

    I really really hate when I hear girls doing it to their friends, like mentioned above with the bridal shower. I knew two girls from work who were best friends, S & R. I went out with S one night and when we met up, she gave me a hug and exclaimed, "I love going out with you, R is so fat!" I was like, wtf?? Just makes me think if you are going to talk about your best friend like that, what are you going to say about me?

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    Sometimes the customers will complain about the girl being too heavy, having too much cheese, too many tattoos, etc. etc. and I keep my mouth shut. It's not cool. I don't think people realize what assholes they are being by doing this. NOBODY is perfect. I do feel pressured by it though. I feel like I have to be careful to keep a good diet/exercise routine so that nobody will have reason to talk shit, ya know?
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    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    The other girls at my work are always critiquing each others bodies. I don't like it, but I also think its quite possible the most boring thing you could talk about. I usually just say something nice about the girl in question and then change the subject.

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    I personally think women are a lot more critical than men as far as another womans appearance goes. I think we measure ourselves up to one another a lot. When I was married my ex and I would discuss others and I think I did so with a couple of close friends as well. But unless they were just obnoxious looking I usually wouldn't say anything.

  17. #17
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    I hate it when people talk negitivly about how other people look. I think that if you cant find anything nice to say then just dont say anything!

    I hate how so much emphasis is put on looks these days and almost none on personality and intelligence.

    All of this energy wasted on making people feel bad about themselves or feeling bad about oneself. When it boils down, looks and apperance are trivial things when you compare them to what life is really all about. Its a pity all of this energy isnt put into something thats good for the world and good for the human race.

    I think its sad that humans dont appreciate that if we have arms, legs, a complete face, 10 fingers and toes and working organs, we are actually all pretty fortunate - regardless of whether someones a bit fat or a bit thin or a bit excentric or a bit whatever else. Why are we being negative about it, like really?!
    I think its sad that people dont appreciate that if you can actually see what people look like in the first place, thats pretty special too.

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    I agree aussiepunkshocker

    The five senses (even the sixth) is amazing to be able to have and behold! I know I feel grateful and blessed each and every day that I have my health (for the most part) and everything.

    After that it is just plain vanity and isn't that one of the seven deadly sins?

    Granted, I'm human. I'm not infalliable. I have fallen prey to talking about someone else in a negative fashion without their knowledge here and there. I just don't do it as an "every day" thing that is all.

    For instance, one of my club's managers (the male one) talked negatively about one of two dancers that were supposed to be used as a way to teach another dancer manager to say NO to hiring of girls. Well, he called this girl fat and basically nothing nice. Um, when I saw her nude on stage I can see where he might call her fat however she was far from fat in my eyes. She was Her look was very "Suicide Girls" as such: pale skin, dark hair, heaps of tattoos, pin up looking. I actually thought it was quite a horrible thing to say about this chick. So she wasn't typical stripper hot - neither am I.

    Not everyone can be stick thin plus some people 'carry' that little bit of weight really well. I've seen it time and time again. We all can't fit a mould.


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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    I don't think performers are more sensitive to talking about other people's bodies. It's just that we get to hear right on our faces what others only say behind our backs. I'm pretty sure if the shit talkers got to hear what was said about them in the same tone that they use on others they would quickly quit their bull, too.
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    It's one of the few things I don't like about this site. It isn't common, and it certainly isn't everyone, but I hate when people bash people's bodies, whether it be "she's so fat" or "she's too thin" or "she's gross looking".

    I think it's comments like the above (not just here, anywhere) that cause so many self esteem issues and body image issues.

    I especially feel bad when people talk about someone being ugly. Like by being pretty, they have some higher power to judge. It isn't someone's fault they are ugly, just like being beautiful isn't earned...it's just a random gift (either from God or luck, depending on your religious views).

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    Featured Member Starfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    I would certainly never talk about others looks with the customers, but I have to admit I am WAY meaner in my own thoughts than i used to be before I danced. I think it's because as a dancer, your body is always on display to be criticized. It's like a weird backlash. I know people are criticizing me-no matter how awesome anyone looks, I'm sure we've all heard other girls or customers say something mean about us.

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    Quote Originally Posted by LatinaRose View Post
    I thinik its just the nature of women. Even the nicest girls catch themselves doing it once in awhile. I try to avoid it, but sometimes comments fly by your lips before you have time to think about it.
    Yep.

    But I have noticed that the cruelest comments about girls being overweight such as "she shouldn't be wearing that" usually come from other overweight women.
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    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiepunkshocker View Post
    I hate it when people talk negitivly about how other people look. I think that if you cant find anything nice to say then just dont say anything!

    I hate how so much emphasis is put on looks these days and almost none on personality and intelligence.

    All of this energy wasted on making people feel bad about themselves or feeling bad about oneself. When it boils down, looks and apperance are trivial things when you compare them to what life is really all about. Its a pity all of this energy isnt put into something thats good for the world and good for the human race.

    I think its sad that humans dont appreciate that if we have arms, legs, a complete face, 10 fingers and toes and working organs, we are actually all pretty fortunate - regardless of whether someones a bit fat or a bit thin or a bit excentric or a bit whatever else. Why are we being negative about it, like really?!
    I think its sad that people dont appreciate that if you can actually see what people look like in the first place, thats pretty special too.

    Everytime you make a post like this it really does make me stop and think. Not that I say negative things about other girls bodies, quite the contrary I usually admire other women's bodies. But what you have said here really does put it all in perspective. It is also a reflection of what a kind human being you really are
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiepunkshocker View Post

    I hate how so much emphasis is put on looks these days and almost none on personality and intelligence.

    Exactly. I don't do it because it's rather...juvenile and petty to insult other's body types. Like, that's such a junior high esque mentality that I'd be embarrased to possess. e.g. "Look, she is FAT! Look she has bad hair"

    Like...so? Maybe she's a CEO or award winning poet or fabulous dominatrix or runs a wonderful animal shelter. How is that at all relevant?

    Plus, it all seems rather silly when you think about how beauty is ultimately subjective and fashion changes constantly. It used to be very in to be pale and plump once! In addition to that...I think conformity is boring...so I like variety in the world rather than clones of the (current) ideal body.

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    Default Re: Discussing other people's bodies negatively

    wow. I really appreciate this thread! For some reason I never really noticed how much I talked badly about other people. This thread has opened my eyes, and from now on I will be more aware about the way I speak about other people.

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