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Thread: Reaching out randomly...

  1. #1
    Senior Member alani.girl's Avatar
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    Default Reaching out randomly...

    Okay, I'm reaching out. Feel free to respond to my post with any questions or comments or whatever. I appreciate your comments. If this was more like a myspace-type deal with each account having it's own page or something, I would make this a blog but....here goes.

    Every time I prepare myself to go into work I feel like crying. I mean, sometimes my eyes even get to watering a little bit. The tears don't spill down my face or anything but I just get really sad and feel like busting out crying and then its gone. I'm ready to go work and I do. I don't know why I seem to have this sadness on my heart about it. I make a consistent amount of money-which isn't alot (due to my lack of extras and refusal to implement grimey hustle skills) but it does help me out.

    I don't know, anything? anyone?
    Either love me, or leave me alone

    and add me while you're at it!

    http://www.myspace.com/alanimoore

  2. #2
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    You sound burnt out. Happens to the best of us. Take some time off or at least switch clubs for a change of scenery for at least a few weeks until you get over it.

  3. #3
    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    It doesn't sound like you'redoing what you love. The money is helpful but it's not filling or fuelling your spirit.

    Do you have a passion? Maybe you can dance while fulfilling your passion if that's what's lacking.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    Maybe you feel guilty or strongly dislike dancing? I got to the point where I would get sick on my stomach when I'd get close to them during the dance.

  5. #5
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    oh...this is me.

    I can be all happy and look foward to work, but the closer I get to having to go in, the more nervous/sad I start to feel. I start to cry often. As I drive to work, my stomach starts knotting up, I start feelin ill....most of the time, I keep driving and never go in. When I do go in...I wander aimlessly around, or sit in the dressing room, hardly ever talking to guys. I may stop and talk to 2 or 3 guys.

    My lapdances feel awkard and uncomfortable. It's very obvious I'm not into it.

    What can you do?

    I have foudn since starting school I feel much better about working. I have also discovered that takign things in steps, and not thinkign abotu the end result helps. Don't think about needing to get ready for work. Just think abtou takign a bath. Then just think about putting on makeup. Not for work. Just to put it on.
    Then on the wya to work, start to psych yourself up Liosten to loud music to get in the party mood. Start telling yourself how hot you are, how all the guys will love you and want you.
    Whedn you get to work...get yoru first dance as soon as possible. if it takes 10 no's in a row, don't stop until you get that dance. I have foudn that if I stop afetr 3 no's, I'll never start again. Push through, keep going, and once you finally get that dance, the momentum starts.

    Also, pressure to make money ruins me. If I have a bill due, I cannot make money. All I can think abotu is that biill. Gotta make $1000 for the rent. Gotta make the rent, need the rent. OMg. I only have $100. I'll never make the rent. What am I gonna do?
    I have to tell myself I don't need money. Whatever I make is fine. I'm in good shape. Anythign is a bonus. I have to give myself permission to only make $100 and be ok with that.
    When I remove the pressure of HAVE TO make money, when I tell myself even $100 is ok...I make a thousand. If i tell msyelf I must make a thousand, I'm lucky to make $100. Funny how that works...

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    oh girl this is bad. has something happened at work recently that bothered you? Maybe you had someone push your boundaries or you ran into someone you knew? It sounds like you need a break or need to explore other career options.

  7. #7
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    Need more info. Has anything bad happened at work? Is it affecting your relationships?
    I don't think crying would happen for no reason. How long have you been dancing for? Maybe you need anew club?

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    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    I think Cameron is right. You sound burnt out. Can you take a break? If so, go somewhere to relax. I know that every couple of months I start to feel worn out. I take a 3-5 day vacation somewhere with my friends and I come back ready to work again.

    Switching to a new club is always a good idea too. New scenery can't hurt.
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

    End violence against women.
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  9. #9
    Senior Member alani.girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    You sound burnt out. Happens to the best of us. Take some time off or at least switch clubs for a change of scenery for at least a few weeks until you get over it.
    I think that I am maybe a little burned out...I do think that a change of scenery would do me well, but I think that the biggest change of scenery for me would be an extra visit to the park or something since I'm now in school here 5 days/week and I need to work to make tuition payments -- the first of which is coming up on the 20th. I would like to switch clubs.


    Quote Originally Posted by ahmeerah View Post
    It doesn't sound like you're doing what you love. The money is helpful but it's not filling or fuelling your spirit.

    You know, I love dancing when it's great (when the environment is all around pleasant and I make lots of money off of agreeable customers -- and how often is that?) but I hate it when it is not. I would love dancing more if I was better at it or perhaps had a better club? It certainly isn't fueling my spirit. You're right, I should tutor or something, then I'd generally feel better about life. So, dancing where I do would be more bearable.

    Do you have a passion? Maybe you can dance while fulfilling your passion if that's what's lacking.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    Maybe you feel guilty or strongly dislike dancing? I got to the point where I would get sick on my stomach when I'd get close to them during the dance.
    It sounds like the same type of thing. I guess I really just strongly dislike my working conditions. I mean, I just get down when I think of all the hard hustling I'll have to do on that shift -- just to make pennies.

    Quote Originally Posted by austinatalie View Post
    oh girl this is bad. has something happened at work recently that bothered you? Maybe you had someone push your boundaries or you ran into someone you knew? It sounds like you need a break or need to explore other career options.
    On top of that hard hustling for nothing, there seems to be an added element of drama as of late there....

    Quote Originally Posted by pookie View Post
    Need more info. Has anything bad happened at work? Is it affecting your relationships?
    I don't think crying would happen for no reason. How long have you been dancing for? Maybe you need anew club?
    This girl hustled a guy out of his money using my name without me knowing it and blew up when I confronted her.

    Quote Originally Posted by hannah83 View Post
    I think Cameron is right. You sound burnt out. Can you take a break? If so, go somewhere to relax. I know that every couple of months I start to feel worn out. I take a 3-5 day vacation somewhere with my friends and I come back ready to work again.

    Switching to a new club is always a good idea too. New scenery can't hurt.
    Either love me, or leave me alone

    and add me while you're at it!

    http://www.myspace.com/alanimoore

  10. #10
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    Quote Originally Posted by alani.girl View Post
    This girl hustled a guy out of his money using my name without me knowing it and blew up when I confronted her.
    Im so sorry that happened to you,she is really fucked up to do that. Have you talked to your managers and told them what she did?

  11. #11
    Featured Member Miss_Luscious's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    Please please please get the hell out of there. Come to my club, see if they're hiring. If not we'll do some club hopping together and find somewhere new for you. There is no reason for you to feel that way about going to work. PM me if you want to.
    "A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand." - Bertrand Russell

    "It's just a matter of people having low self esteem and being way too easily offended." -Random Guy on a Internet Forum

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    Ya'll bitches need to calm down. Cerously.
    In other words: Boo-motherfucking-hoo

  12. #12
    Senior Member alani.girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylinn View Post
    oh...this is me.

    I can be all happy and look foward to work, but the closer I get to having to go in, the more nervous/sad I start to feel. I start to cry often. As I drive to work, my stomach starts knotting up, I start feelin ill....most of the time, I keep driving and never go in. When I do go in...I wander aimlessly around, or sit in the dressing room, hardly ever talking to guys. I may stop and talk to 2 or 3 guys.

    My lapdances feel awkard and uncomfortable. It's very obvious I'm not into it.

    What can you do?

    I have foudn since starting school I feel much better about working. I have also discovered that takign things in steps, and not thinkign abotu the end result helps. Don't think about needing to get ready for work. Just think abtou takign a bath. Then just think about putting on makeup. Not for work. Just to put it on.
    Then on the wya to work, start to psych yourself up Liosten to loud music to get in the party mood. Start telling yourself how hot you are, how all the guys will love you and want you.
    Whedn you get to work...get yoru first dance as soon as possible. if it takes 10 no's in a row, don't stop until you get that dance. I have foudn that if I stop afetr 3 no's, I'll never start again. Push through, keep going, and once you finally get that dance, the momentum starts.

    Also, pressure to make money ruins me. If I have a bill due, I cannot make money. All I can think abotu is that biill. Gotta make $1000 for the rent. Gotta make the rent, need the rent. OMg. I only have $100. I'll never make the rent. What am I gonna do?
    I have to tell myself I don't need money. Whatever I make is fine. I'm in good shape. Anythign is a bonus. I have to give myself permission to only make $100 and be ok with that.
    When I remove the pressure of HAVE TO make money, when I tell myself even $100 is ok...I make a thousand. If i tell msyelf I must make a thousand, I'm lucky to make $100. Funny how that works...
    Kaylinn, thank you. What you're saying is so true, I guess I've definitely had $ on my mind. Doing things a small step @ a time does help.

    At least I'm not the only one with this issue.
    Either love me, or leave me alone

    and add me while you're at it!

    http://www.myspace.com/alanimoore

  13. #13
    Senior Member alani.girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    You know, I'm pretty sure that the manager (aka bartender on duty in this club) had an idea of what was going on b/c the custy complained about and the bartender said ''oh well man, you paid it.'' The custy was drunk and blowed out of his mind.

    In my club the bartenders hard hustle the custies too. So they turn a blind eye on everything. Sometimes even they disappear into the bathroom for inordinate amounts of time...
    Either love me, or leave me alone

    and add me while you're at it!

    http://www.myspace.com/alanimoore

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    Default Re: Reaching out randomly...

    Alani, I know I can't speak much to the dancing, but I can see that the stress of the environment has you down--it sounds like a place that is not at all inviting, and where people are indifferent to each other, at best. So I wanted to join all of the voices on this thread and say you have a bunch of people caring for you here, so please think about us and that we side with you, and perhaps put your thoughts our way when you get down; and in the meanwhile it is a good idea to search out some of the other opportunities that are being suggested, so that you are aware there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep the faith.

    I'm thinking of you.
    JK Jim

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