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Thread: Would you...?

  1. #1
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Would you...?

    I know of a prostitute who is pregnant and catering to several johns per night. She's not a friend of mine, but someone I know of. Part of me feels that it is my moral obligation to call the cops and have them bust her. If she wants to rent out her body, that's her choice but I think that a line is crossed when it involves the safety of her child. Maybe there would be a chance that she'd stop whoring and get a safer job. But then I think that after getting arrested, she might go right back to it.

    Would you do it? Would you call the cops and have her set up? This whole thing makes me sick to my stomach - I need some advice from SWers.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    I don't think getting busted would make her stop... but it would guarantee that the kid's mom is a registered sex offender. Personally, I wouldn't do it. Hopefully, she's using condoms.
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    Senior Member nekogirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    I'd think she'd keep doing it- I mean, if she wanted a safer job, wouldn't she have it? I'm not totally aware of what all involved in being arrested for this- and the aftermath- is, however.

    I'm at a loss for words at what she's doing. I hope only it's because she feels she has no other options.
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    This is a tough one. She's not your friend, and she's not your enemy. If you didn't like her...HELL YEAH, I would probably bust her...but she's neither. I would probably just leave it alone. But that is very sad IMO.



  5. #5
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Leave it alone. It's her life. She;d probably just go back to the same routine once she got out of jail.

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Well, if you call the cops and she's arrested, she would be charged, convicted, and registered as a sex offender. That would make it extremely hard for her to get ANY job, let alone one that pays above minimum wage, so she would probably have to turn back to prostituting to get money.

    I'm not sure what your concern is, if you don't mind her being a prostitue if she wasn't pregnant. I don't see how it endangers the child exactly, assuming she practices safe sex (which you dont know if she does or doesn't)

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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Maybe there would be a chance that she'd stop whoring and get a safer job.
    Do you realize how judgemental you sound when you make such a statement. Many people could say the same thing about strippers, and all of us on this board know how frustrating it is to be judged by other people that know nothing about our jobs, yet make false assumptions.

    If you call the cops and have her arrested and convicted as a prostitute, how is that going to help her in the long run? She will not be able to get a good job, go to school, or get an advanced degree. There is a HUGE social stigma that is placed on people that have been convicted. You would be ruining her life AND the future life of her child.

    I say: don't do it. Leave her alone.

  8. #8
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Without calling me judgemental (which I am the last person you would call that if you knew me), just go with what I have said and not start a flame war here. I'm not going to give more information about the situation other than what I've said. Let's just say what she is doing is NOT safe for her or her child.

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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Alexxa:

    Your friend's high risk behavior is truly disturbing. However, her prostituting during pregnancy does not mean that she will be considered a sex offender. Why? Because the johns are having sex with her--not her unborn child--and vice versa. Assuming that she carries the baby to full term, unless the newborn tests positive for drugs and/or HIV, or presents with some significant abnormality, your friend's lifestyle will probably not become an issue at the hospital...

    From your previous posts about that godawful Carl's Jr. at Sunset & Highland, I'm assuming that you live in the L.A. area. One thing that you can do is anonymously contact the 24-hour Los Angeles County Department of Children & Family Services Child Abuse Hotline at (800) 540-4000 and discuss the situation hypothetically. In fact, there are options on the menu that will allow you to choose whether you wish to discuss the issue with a social worker or report it immediately. In either case, the social worker you speak with will tell you whether your friend's behavior is reportable. If you choose to call and/or report, your anonymity is protected by law.

    In terms of your present concerns regarding the risk that prostituting poses to the unborn child, here is an excerpt from the French-to-English translation of "The Blue Book," a brochure developed by a group of European prostitutes to "help preserve their health, their security and dignity."


    Prostitution and pregnancy
    --During pregnancy your immune system is weakened. Be very careful. You and your baby are more sensitive to infection
    --Be very aware of infections and treat them immediately
    --Avoid penetration and be the master of your situation with the client. In all cases you must use a contraceptive sheath/condom
    --It is possible you may develop hemorrhoids : they can bleed and be an open door to infections

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Without knowing the specifics, I cant really say what you should do, besides my previous post (and I never meant you were judgmental, I was just asking for you to clarify the situation).

    However, I really dont think she'd change her ways if she was arrested. Ot might cause her to become even more involved.

    What you could do is, when the child is born, call child services to have the child removed if her behavior is that dangerous.

  11. #11
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Thanks, Budai. I will call and see what the best option might be based on the info they give.

    Kandie - I was more referring to what Elusive said about me sounding judgemental.

    I thought about calling child services to see if they have any jurisdiction with unborn babies - I won't know this person/have access to knowledge of her lifestyle once she has her child though.

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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Okay, this pissed me off. I'm sorry, but it's not your business. Now, you may know more than you posted, but plenty of people have unsafe sexual activity while pregnant-with their baby's dad or with lots of other people. Plenty. And we can't call the cops on them for being idiots. I'm sure she knows what she's doing already and it's not for others (unless perhaps close friends) to interfere with her personal life.

    Not only that, but a prostitution bust is not one of those things that are even remotely explainable. It's not a reckless driving ticket. It'll affect her whole life. I think a mother who's around and presumably making a nice dollar is a far sight better than one in jail with a baby in foster care.

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    If you are in California, no, there's nothing they can do to govern an unborn child, unfortunately.

  14. #14
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    Okay, this pissed me off. I'm sorry, but it's not your business. Now, you may know more than you posted, but plenty of people have unsafe sexual activity while pregnant-with their baby's dad or with lots of other people. Plenty. And we can't call the cops on them for being idiots. I'm sure she knows what she's doing already and it's not for others (unless perhaps close friends) to interfere with her personal life.

    Not only that, but a prostitution bust is not one of those things that are even remotely explainable. It's not a reckless driving ticket. It'll affect her whole life. I think a mother who's around and presumably making a nice dollar is a far sight better than one in jail with a baby in foster care.
    Oh come on! Meeting several strange men every night isn't safe for the woman involved, let alone a baby. Forget whether or not she wears protection or is even fucking the guy - the fact is that she is putting herself in a dangerous situation every fucking day and it's NOT GOOD. Stop defending this person you don't even know.

    Let's just clarify that I am not against prostitution in theory. This particular situation however is putting a child at risk. I was asking whether or not my involvement would make a difference in forcing this woman to stop. I don't want a flame war or a debate about the dangers or merits of whoring.

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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Oh come on! Meeting several strange men every night isn't safe for the woman involved, let alone a baby. Forget whether or not she wears protection or is even fucking the guy - the fact is that she is putting herself in a dangerous situation every fucking day and it's NOT GOOD.
    As far as I can tell from the information you've given it doesn't sound like the situation is any different than if she was going out to clubs and hooking up with random guys every night while pregnant. The only difference is that she's getting paid and it's illegal, neither of which are affecting her health or that of the baby. And I agree with you that it's probably not safe, but I also think it's no different than having random sex for free, which obviously you couldn't have her busted for. I apologize if this sounds trite, but have you just tried talking to her and telling her you're concerned? If she was just having random free hookups that's all you could do. If you do decide to turn her in, I think it would only be fair to at least warn her and tell her your concerns directly first. Personally, if it was someone I knew I wouldn't even consider turning her in, but if it's something you feel you should do I think you should give her a chance to change first.

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    Default Re: Would you...?

    The state has no jurisdiction over an unborn child. Prostitution is a sex offense and you have to think of how a bust for her now might affect the child. If you call the number that Budai gave, they may be able to tell you about programs for pregnant woman who are getting out of prostitution (many areas have free residential programs).



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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Thanks, Budai. I will call and see what the best option might be based on the info they give.
    No sweat, Alexxa!

    Remember, you aren't calling the Los Angeles Police Dept, you're calling the Department of Children & Family Services. The current focus at L.A. DCFS is on long-term Family Preservation, and child safety is their primary concern versus adding to the foster child population. Although I can't swear it for certain, I don't believe they'll give the Vice Squad any leads, either.

    I think I'll step out of this debate, though...

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    Default Re: Would you...?

    No, I don't want flamey-ness either. No, it's not the best job, but I've known a number of women who've escorted and supported families safely. And when people find out about such things they do tend to get involved where they needn't and assume what they shouldn't.

    And I totally do defend people I don't know-I'm a compulsive underdog-defender, admittedly.

    I just don't think it will help matters to get her busted. It's good that you are concerned about her and the baby, but if you aren't close enough to her to say something to her, I don't think you should be involved in forcing her to stop working.

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    Quote Originally Posted by likewow View Post
    As far as I can tell from the information you've given it doesn't sound like the situation is any different than if she was going out to clubs and hooking up with random guys every night while pregnant. The only difference is that she's getting paid and it's illegal, neither of which are affecting her health or that of the baby. And I agree with you that it's probably not safe, but I also think it's no different than having random sex for free, which obviously you couldn't have her busted for. I apologize if this sounds trite, but have you just tried talking to her and telling her you're concerned? If she was just having random free hookups that's all you could do. If you do decide to turn her in, I think it would only be fair to at least warn her and tell her your concerns directly first. Personally, if it was someone I knew I wouldn't even consider turning her in, but if it's something you feel you should do I think you should give her a chance to change first.
    I agree with this completely. Can you just talk to her first?

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    Featured Member london's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    I agree with Elusive and a few others. A lot of women, paid or not, have risky sex with more than the father of their child while pregnant. If she were to be arrested, it will undoubtedly reinforce her situation in so far as what reason would she have to change if she has the scarlet W painted on her record and wants to 'get a better life' ? I think I would note your concerns for her wellbeing by talking to her if you know her well enough and appeal to her as a new mother and nothing more. Once she has the baby, if her behavior continues to bother you, perhaps you can anonymously call Child Protective Services and let them know what is going on.
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Yikes. This is a tough one. Part of me wants to say "stay out of it," part of me wants to say "call DCFS," but the major, best-fuctioning part says "DCFS can't do anything anyway... it isn't a CHILD yet... it's a fetus. Therefore, the state has no say in the matter.... it's still the mother's body and the mother's decision... so having her as a registered sex offender will just make matters worse, and DCFS can't step in until the baby's born." I say let it alone. If you can talk to her, encourage her to seek out a transitional house or something... a shelter, halfway house, etc., anything....

  22. #22
    Tart
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    I'd just like to say , it's awesome that you care. It truly is. But,it's just not your place. And no she WONT be a registered sex offender she will however be labeled as a hooker. And she CAN change or decide to do something else in life and this charge on her record will effect her always.

    While it can be quick to say " well that's what she gets" . no one is in her shoes, no one knows what the situations could possibly be. And unless you hear directly from her how unsafe she is,then its not a safe place to assume.

    I dont agree with "working" while pregnant but then again who am I to say shit about it.

    Having been through something similar .. my best and honest advice is just let it go. If she gets arrested because she's caught via vice that's her fault.

    But the jails are over crowded, she'll get 24 hours hold , then released, a ticket..an HIV test and a fine. How on earth will she pay that fine?

    Trust me the entire thing will be lost in the system.

  23. #23
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    No, I wouldnt. I dont think its any of your buisness to be honest.

  24. #24
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    I think that Budai gave some good advice. This is a seriously sticky situation, and I find it disgusting when people abuse a poor, innocent child like that, especially at such a vulnerable stage. The poor children would have been better off aborted.

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    Default Re: Would you...?

    the problem with approving of theories is being confronted with actual facts.

    your concerns with this lady you know are not dissimilar to the concerns of those who are, you know, pro-life.

    i wouldn't call the cops on her, myself. in absence of further info about her specific situation, though, i would probably start ringing churches and social programs before i rang any coppers. they could give her stipends and vouchers and they would make sure not to have her sit in jail pregnant 'for her own good'.

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