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Thread: Would you...?

  1. #26
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    why call the cops? the only thing they could do is have her thrown in jail and that's IF they do anything at all. at most she'll spend a few days maybe a week in the slammer.

    what good does that do? it doesn't solve a damned thing. she needs -help- not imprisonment. if you -really- want to do something, why don't you try to reach out to her? if not, just leave it alone.

  2. #27
    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    ^^ Agreed. Are you really concerned or just busy-bodying? Will secretly inciting legal drama for her to deal with all by herself really make you feel like you've done something good for this person's future and the future of her child? Or just allow you to say, "Well, I did all I could" without actually expending much effort?

    I don't believe that calling the law is a first line solution in most situations. Your neighbor's party is too loud? Go knock on their door and ask them to pipe down. Pregnant acquaintance is hooking? Tell her you're concerned and ask if you can help hook her up with some resources. Don't call the cops. Some things are better left up to the community to take care of.

  3. #28
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elusive21 View Post

    If you call the cops and have her arrested and convicted as a prostitute, how is that going to help her in the long run? She will not be able to get a good job, go to school, or get an advanced degree. There is a HUGE social stigma that is placed on people that have been convicted. You would be ruining her life AND the future life of her child.

    I say: don't do it. Leave her alone.
    Agreed it wont help the child. She has already been doing it during her pregnancy and I doubt she would stop if she was convicted.

    Besides unborn feotuses don't not have any legal rights - it's still her body.
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  4. #29
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Without calling me judgemental (which I am the last person you would call that if you knew me), just go with what I have said and not start a flame war here. I'm not going to give more information about the situation other than what I've said. Let's just say what she is doing is NOT safe for her or her child.
    Look I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings nor start a flame war. I was just stating my opinion. No harm intended.

  5. #30
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Alexxa, I understand your concern, but you need to realy think about what some of the other women here have said. While you may not agree with what she is doing, it's her body, her choice....your POV has no bearing over the matter.

    If you care, then care directly. Getting her in trouble will not help her. At all.

    If I were in your shoes, I would try to talk to her, ask her if she realizes she has other options, other places to get help for whatever she may need. Even offer to get her in touch with some services. Keep my fingers crossed and pray that she takes up the help.

    If she doesn't then all you can do is hope that her baby is born healthy and safe.

    I understand your love and concern for kids, unborn and born, but it's so hard to do what you're trying to do. Every where you look there are people doing things that are potentially bad for them and their kids. Pregnant women smoking, doing drugs, drinking....and if you could stop it all I'm sure you would. But in this situation, think past the immediate action to the reaction it would have for this woman and her child long term. I would try and find another way to help her.




  6. #31
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    I don't have any answer, but ...

    The mother is an adult, and has made her decision about what she thinks is best for her and (presumably) for her child. Put another way, we have to assume she has considered all the options (i.e., a straight job) and decided this is her best solution. If that was all there was to it, I'd say great, it's none of my business.

    Obviously though the moral dilemna here is about the baby, and should the baby have a say in the risk/choices of his mother; or I should say, should the community or an advocate have the right to interfere with the mother's choices on behalf of the unborn child.

    I guess the question for me then is, if I was that child, what would I want? Honestly it's not clear to me that I'd want to see my mom put in jail, end up with a criminal record, and still have no straight job vs the risk that something might happen to me. Now obviously I'm using an adult POV, and children don't necessarily weigh everything like that. Who knows, maybe if I was a kid still I'd see it all differently, but from an adult POV, it's not obvious to me that having her arrested vs the risk to me is a guarantee of safety for me (me in the sense that if I was that unborn child). Long term of course I'd like to see my mom in a safe, straight job, working towards a future for me and her, but in the short term, if she is in a position of not being able to make ends meet, it's not obvious that having her arrested is a solution to her long term problem, and not obvious that her short term problem will go away either. In fact she is very likely to end up with no solution, and even more bills (legal bills) to pay then before.

    Bottom line is I don't know what's best. Most of the time if I don't know what's best, I make a decision to do nothing for now. It's all too easy to make things worse out of desire to do something, anything, to fix what really can't be fixed simply.

  7. #32
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Well, I would say a number of things.
    First - she is not an incubator. I would say that concern for her should be concern as a whole, not apportioning her into parts and saying that she as a woman can be subsumed by your judgment on what you think is best for her fetus.
    Second - why are we convinced that what she is doing is dangerous to her fetus? I mean asking for advice on a situation based on certain facts that reveal no danger to her fetus and then saying "but it is" - I mean there is no advice we can give you.
    Third - the argument that what she is doing is unsafe because she is at risk of violence is... well I think it is a poor one. I don't think strangers should be able to dictate who pregnant women know/meet/walk around simply because they are pregnant.

    So based on the information you have given - I would say that you are interfering on the grossest level to some fairly basic integrity based on fairly insubstantial concerns and claims. So on that scale - I would say definitely don't do that. If you want to be helpful to her (including her fetus) I would suggest finding out about aid and assistance that might be offered to her.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  8. #33
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    I'm suprised no one else asked this question before offering advice, but I'm curious.
    Alexxa: Is she caring for her body properly? Is she drinking/using drugs?
    Eating healthy?
    Does she act concerned for her baby or seem like she is a caring parent?

    It's one thing, I think, if she is truly a good parent trying to make some money before the baby is born. It's another thing if she is intentionally acting recklessly with no concern to her unborn child.

    If she is acting recklessly, not using condoms, drinking or using drugs, or generally acting like she don't give a fuck that she's carrying a baby.....yeah...I'd make an anonomous call.

    If she was just trying to get some extra cash so she can care for the child properly once it's born, and seems like she will be a loving, caring mother.....
    While I may not like the idea of prostituting while pregnant, I'd bite my tounge and hope all turns out for the best, and keep a close eye on the situation.

    It may not be any of your business,what she does with her body, but when it comes to the innocent, who cannot protect themselves, someone has to do it. Is it any of your business if the child was born, and she was leaving it home along to go out at night and work? No...but would you call it in? Fuck yes. If a person is endangering a child, it's everyones responsibility to speak up and protect the child.

    And Fetuses DO have rights inside the womb. It's stil la little contraversial, in the early stages, and hard to win in court, but a few people have been charged with murder , when an unborn baby dies.
    If for example, a man beats his wife and causes the unborn child to die, the man can be charged with murder.
    Like I said, it's a hard win in court so far, and I think maybe only a few states have laws concerning this...but it still happens. The law only applies to unborn babies who were viable outside the womb tho. After 24 weeks? Somethign close to that.
    So in theory......a woman who was pregnant with a viable fetus and was intentionally putting her baby in harms way....could be charged with child endangerment.
    This might be a few years off, but I have no doubt that it will soon be a possibility.

    A woman is in charge of her body, and what she does with it. But if you become pregnant and choose to carry the pregnancy to term, your agreeing to give up your body for the child, and have to act in the unborn babies best interest.

    So I would not say mind yru business and stay out of it at all costs. It's a judgement call, to decide if she has the child's best interest in mind or not. If not...I might step in. Like I said...someeone has to speak up for thoes that have no voice.

  9. #34
    Veteran Member stripperMBA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    With all the TB, Hepatitus, and other infectious diseases that are known to be currently running rampant through our prison systems I think it would be just as dangerous for the unborn baby to be exposed to the general prison population. Also while it is assumed pregnant mothers receive proper medical care there have been serveral cases recently where the pregnant woman was bleeding and denied medical care. So I do not think the unborn baby would be safer in jail with mommy.
    I think it is very passive agressive to want to just call the cops and pass over the problem. Either try to speak with her your self with viable solutions and options available. Also try not to call her a whore or talk about her means of living as "whoring" that might piss her off . There are orginizations that help prostitutes, and pregnant women I think you should call them instead.
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  10. #35
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    ^^Well, yeah she is a whore by definition. Again, the purpose of this thread is not to get into debates about wording and PC lovey-dovey crap. I'm not going to get into this shit.

    Regarding this pregnant woman -Aside from call the number and ask about hypothetical options, I'm not going to do anything for now. Like I said, she is just someone I know OF and she is not a friend nor someone I could offer help to. Honestly I don't give a fuck about her, I care about her unborn baby because I think all children deserve a decent start in life. Unfortunately that isn't the way it goes a lot of the time. And that leaves me in a weird position because (in light of the circumstances) it would seem out of place for me to form a friendship with her and offer her some kind of assistance. I wouldn't even know how to find it myself and I don't even live in her city. So I guess that leaves me pretty optionless.

    Yay. All I can do is hope her baby doesn't end up dead. By the way, she is almost to full term.

    I'm done with this thread. This shit is too depressing.

  11. #36
    Senior Member ITgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    I take this post very personally for many reasons.

    One is the attitude that prostitution is bad and dangerous. Not True, in most cases.

    Another reason is that you are willing to cause permanent harm to your friend's life, to satisfy your own fucked-up sense of moral justice. If you were my friend I would beat you senseless. You sound just like the people who think stripping is a moral sin and we are going to hell for it, or going to get AIDS, go on crack and be murdered by creepies who hand around in the parking lot.

    You are not paying her bills, right? You are not paying her car note, her gas/electric. buying her groceries, or paying her medical bills. Prostitution is doing that for her. Plenty of girls do it, and if you don't like it then leave her alone. Don't be her friend. But don't try to ruin her livelyhood because of your own moral superiority and totally errant logic.

    Prostitution is not a Lifetime movie where all tricks are psycho killers. It's just guys who like sex/bj's, massages....whatever and are willing to pay for the quick fix. If she chooses to do it, then good for her. She's not endangering her child by doing it. Sex is not dangerous to a fetus. My doctor actually told me to stop dancing at 4 mos, but I could keep on with my "other means of employment" as long as I felt comfortable and didn't get too rowdy. He knew I was a prostitute.

    [Actually, contrary to logic, prostitution is not a sex offense. It is not even a real crime, it's a misdemeanor-infraction. Like a speeding ticket. You don't get registered. I've been busted plenty. You do maybe 12 hours, they let you go, pay a fine, take a class, get an HIV test. That's it. Second offense depends on the county. Most counties it's no different, but some put that 15/30/45 day extension for multi offenses. Honestly, they just want the $ and I've always had jail time waived in exchange for a bigger fine.]

  12. #37
    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Yay. All I can do is hope her baby doesn't end up dead. By the way, she is almost to full term.
    How the hell is her baby going to end up dead? What exactly is the danger you're assuming here? That a trick is going to hurt her? That she'll get an STD which could be passed to her baby? That her baby's going to get poked on the face with a trick's dick? God, I don't know. I'm guessing here.

    Maybe she shouldn't ride in a car--I'm sure she's got a much higher probability of getting hurt in a car wreck than getting murdered by a trick.

    Also, for someone so "open-minded" I am surprised that you do not recognize the judgemental tone you're giving off. Whore may very well be an accurate word. But it is extremely value-laden and shows that you have no respect for this person. Well, and the fact that you said you don't give a fuck about her. You may consider yourself open-minded but I think in this case you are coming off as a judgemental, holier-than-thou busy-body, even though that may not be your intention.
    Last edited by Dottie Rebel; 09-04-2007 at 02:46 PM.

  13. #38
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    ^^Well, yeah she is a whore by definition. Again, the purpose of this thread is not to get into debates about wording and PC lovey-dovey crap. I'm not going to get into this shit.

    Regarding this pregnant woman -Aside from call the number and ask about hypothetical options, I'm not going to do anything for now. Like I said, she is just someone I know OF and she is not a friend nor someone I could offer help to. Honestly I don't give a fuck about her, I care about her unborn baby because I think all children deserve a decent start in life. Unfortunately that isn't the way it goes a lot of the time. And that leaves me in a weird position because (in light of the circumstances) it would seem out of place for me to form a friendship with her and offer her some kind of assistance. I wouldn't even know how to find it myself and I don't even live in her city. So I guess that leaves me pretty optionless.

    Yay. All I can do is hope her baby doesn't end up dead. By the way, she is almost to full term.

    I'm done with this thread. This shit is too depressing.

    I don't understand. If all of the above is true, why you are even stressing over this. Hundereds, thousands of woman in this world are doing things they maybe should not be doing while pregnant. Then there are the ones who are doing every day things and can STILL hurt their "unborn child". But you would single out this woman in another city, call the cops on her and risk all the ramifications that come with it? Because she's a prostitute?

    Until you are ready to explain what "else" she is doing that is endangering her ~unborn child~ so much, you aren't going to find much support in this.

    I also don't understand why you created a thread asking opinions and then got pissed at everyone's opinion.




  14. #39
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    I know of a prostitute who is pregnant and catering to several johns per night. She's not a friend of mine, but someone I know of. Part of me feels that it is my moral obligation to call the cops and have them bust her. If she wants to rent out her body, that's her choice but I think that a line is crossed when it involves the safety of her child. Maybe there would be a chance that she'd stop whoring and get a safer job. But then I think that after getting arrested, she might go right back to it.

    Would you do it? Would you call the cops and have her set up? This whole thing makes me sick to my stomach - I need some advice from SWers.
    Not sure what the problem is...as long as she's using condoms and doing a decent job of screening clients...it's her business.

  15. #40
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    ^^Well, yeah she is a whore by definition. Again, the purpose of this thread is not to get into debates about wording and PC lovey-dovey crap. I'm not going to get into this shit.
    Well. Not for nothing, but when you run around using incendiary, nasty language - people are going to respond to that. If you want a measured response based wholly on the merits of the situation, then your post should probably reflect that and use measured language that addresses only the merits of the situation. It seems silly for you to hurl around value judgments and nastiness and then get all pissy because people want to address things that you said.

    That aside - you've had plenty response, plenty of advice and plenty of alternatives. To me it sounds a little silly to say "I care about this fetus enough to fuck with the woman and her livelihood by trying to get her busted, but not enough to extend any simple advice or phone numbers to aid agencies." Especially considering that one might actually help and the other... well, obviously won't. I hope that you manage the situation in a way that will be beneficial to all involved.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  16. #41
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    just to throw in my 2 cents.. shes not going to lose that baby. the goal is always to keep families together, BLOOD families. thats just how it is. this is the stuff i learn in school. wrong or right, the state always wants to keep parent and child together. so like everyone else has said, what good could possibly come of this? i mean, shes not going to all of a sudden say "hey, maybe i should do something else!"

  17. #42
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Why is everyone forgetting that AH just had a baby, and nurtured it inside her for 9 months? It's not easy worrying about that little bundle every second of the day, and when the feeling of pregnancy is fresh in your mind (or current, like it is mine), the thought of someone exposing themselves and the child to a plethora of conditions is fairly abhorrent - that's just nature not morals.

    She is still engaging in risky behaviour - paid or unpaid - and in the early stages of pregnancy her immunity generally is extremely low to prevent her body rejecting the fetus.

    I wouldn't call the cops but I would certainly talk to her about it (if i knew her well enough).

    Otherwise, I suppose it's no one's business. I get why it creeps you out AH.
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  18. #43
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    ^I didn't forget. Alexxa is a new mommy. Quit being so harsh people! She already said she was finished with this thread because it makes her sad. Sheesh! Alexxa, if it bothers you that much just try to talk to her. If nothing changes...at least you'll know in your heart that you tried to help her and the baby.



  19. #44
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nautilus View Post
    Why is everyone forgetting that AH just had a baby, and nurtured it inside her for 9 months? It's not easy worrying about that little bundle every second of the day, and when the feeling of pregnancy is fresh in your mind (or current, like it is mine), the thought of someone exposing themselves and the child to a plethora of conditions is fairly abhorrent - that's just nature not morals.
    I didn't forget. I just didn't factor it into my advice because having a baby doesn't put you in charge of other women's bodies - even their pregnant bodies. I doubt she would appreciate anyone else who had children using the same rationale when she was pregnant.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  20. #45
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    I didn't forget. I just didn't factor it into my advice because having a baby doesn't put you in charge of other women's bodies - even their pregnant bodies. I doubt she would appreciate anyone else who had children using the same rationale when she was pregnant.

    Amen. Having a child yourself doesn't give you a right to judge other pregnant women. Especially as a stripper, she should realize that, because so many people would have said the exact things about her as she did about this woman being a prostitute.

  21. #46
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    Default Re: Would you...?

    The OP has washed her hands of this thread, and it's getting far too angry. Thread closed.
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