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Thread: long distance relationships

  1. #1
    Senior Member manchester's Avatar
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    Default long distance relationships

    So, who's had em? Success stories? Horror stories? Why did your relationship fail/succeed?


    Basically I had an offer today that I don't want to refuse, but he lives 3 hours away, and I've never done long distance before. Wanted to hear from some ladies experienced in that department! \

    edit:
    I should probably clarify he lives in a small town, a block away from downtown, and everything is about 2 blocks walking distance from his place including his job... soooo... he's got no car. my car is also on a 15.000/year lease and a trip there and back would add on over 400 miles.... so this makes it a lot trickier

  2. #2
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: long distance relationships

    ME!!!!!!!!!!! Raises Hand! I have had success! Its totally worth it if you think they are the right person. 3 hours isn't that much actually, is it???

  3. #3
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: long distance relationships

    I've had three. They suck. But 'love conquers all', they say, lol.

    Well, yes and no. if it's a really powerful love, distance will not stop it, and the longing can actually strengthen the bond. But this is dangerous as well.

    Three hours doesn't sound bad to me, but I had considerably greater distances to contend with:

    1. Austin Tx. to Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Doomed from the start. She was married to boot, but before you tar and feather me, he was cheating in her with at least two other women, one of whom was their employee, and with her when I met her the first time. Lasted about 8 months, and was the most intense love of the 4 I've had--until #3 below--but again, the distance increased the longing.

    2. Austin Tx. to Atlanta, Georgia, then Daytona Beach to Atlanta. Doomed from the middle, I suppose, since we had lived together in Austin for 4-5 years. Then she moved to Atlanta, wanted me to move with her, and I didn't. I even moved to Daytona like a fucking idiot, instead of Georgia. We still loved each other and it lasted another 1 1/2 years, long distance--but it was too far, too long.

    3. Daytona to Michigan. Doomed from the start. But not from the distance, from the age difference. Of course I should have known better. Lasted 8 months then I moved up there, which was a bad idea, but I had to find out for sure. It lasted a year and a half up there, but it was rocky towards the end.


    Wow, I just realized that after the first serious love of my life, the next three were long distance, counting #2 above. OK, even discounting #2 since we were living together most of the time, 2 out of 4.

    Never again, lol!

    Good luck! Three hours doesn't sound so bad. Be patient, and make every moment count, that's all I can say
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  4. #4
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: long distance relationships

    I love LDR! The long distance part hasnt ever really been a feature in why the relationships didnt workout (Ive had a few)
    Although it sometimes sucks to be apart from your loved one/s, the time apart makes the time together so much better also. Plus its great to have time to yourself (-:

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    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: long distance relationships

    I'm in a cross-country LDR (I'm in FL, he's in CA) with someone I adore right now, and it's not bad. Sure, I miss the physical him when we're apart, but we talk constantly, so I don't feel that distant from him. I enjoy my space and my freedom, and I'm pleased that he's not one of those possessive idiots who needs to know where I am and what I'm doing all the time (and because he's not demanding or controlling, I happily volunteer that information and communicate with him freely and often).

    But part of what makes our relationship work is that he can afford to fly me across the country every 6-8 weeks, and I keep a very flexible schedule, so I am logistically able to travel. I am a little bit concerned about what's going to happen when/if I want a more conventional job, to enroll in school again, etc. Perhaps by that time I will have moved to be with him... I guess we'll see.
    Last edited by teeth_of_the_hydra; 09-04-2007 at 05:28 PM. Reason: stupid grammar

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    Featured Member yogibear179's Avatar
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    Default Re: long distance relationships

    Ive had 2

    LD numero uno: Turned out horribly. Cheated on me etc.. the whole shabang.


    The one im in now is going wonderfully however and has been for about 9 months.

    3 hours isnt that bad. My bf is in Iraq!

    and he will be going back to live in Cali and im moving to Colorado.

    3 Hours? not too big of a deal. esp with web cams and phones. But it will weed him out if he isnt worth it =)


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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: long distance relationships

    None of my LDRs have worked out yet all of them were "in another state" or more than 3 hours away type of LDRs.

    I need someone more local. That I know now as I am the type of person who loves the physicalness of an intimate relationship with someone (a boyfriend) thus I feel "ripped off" in a way with LDRs.

    3 hours is NOTHING!

    As long as communication is strong and you both can make time to visit each other (or one visit the other) regular enough ... as it is the physicalness of intimate relationships that make them grow IMO. Without that he is just a glorified friend who you fuck whenever you can see each other IMO.


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