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Thread: Too Honest? Too Proud?

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    Default Too Honest? Too Proud?

    I'm a pretty down to earth kind of girl, been working in the industry for a while now and used to do a lot better, but now I've hit a bit of a slump.

    On one hand I know it's mostly me because other girls are out there making good money. I get by alright in the end but it's quite tedious.

    I've never succeeded or even tried to rip anybody off and only take what's owed to me (aside from tips of course and provided the customer knows what he's doing).

    If a customer asks me a question I answer it honestly, aside from the 'do you have a boyfriend' bit from time to time. Sometimes I just say yes and many times guys have found this admirable and still had dances.

    Unfortunately the guys who do appreciate my honesty are not the biggest spenders. The big ones seem to want the bullshit stories that I can't seem to bring myself to give them what they're after. I'm a good dancer, a good conversationalist if I do say so...

    So where am I going wrong and how do I overcome this fear of talking shit, as it seems to work for everyone else! I quite often get customers coming back asking for me, 'oh she's such a lovely girl' etc.

    Also, seem to have a bit of an issue with asking. I guess I'm too proud and find it hard to swallow. Don't ask, don't get - right? True but sometimes I go over things in my head and when I say it out loud I just think, 'oh god, did I just say that out loud?' CRINGE!

    What to do girls?
    Custie opinion would be good too!

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Asurfael's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too Honest? Too Proud?

    I'm pretty much the same as you but I haven't found it to hurt my earning potential too badly. True, at times it is easier to just say "let's go to the back and we'll see what we can do" when they ask about extras and then when you get their money you just won't do it. It's really just not my cup of tea.

    Then again I do have "bullshit stories" but they're not lying, just entertaining stuff. Like when guys crank jokes about my fencenets (something really funny like "why are they full of holes" or similar) I tell them "Honey, small fishnets are for catching small fish. These are to attract the bigger catch." and so forth.

    When I'm asked a personal question that I'm not going to reply to I always tell them that first. If they insist I give a bullshit answer. Like
    -Where do you live?
    -You think I'm gonna tell you that?
    -No really, where do you live?
    *sigh* -Like two blocks away, I didn't want to tell you in case you were a creep that was going to follow me. (And of course I live nowhere near that general direction.)

    I still get the honesty points but I don't have to give too much of myself away like that. Plus of course I don't have to give up some of the pride and dignity that's so important to me. I never rip anybody off. There's a difference between leaving with your wallet empty and pissed off vs. leaving with your wallet empty and feeling like you had a blast for the money. The first customer won't come back, not to you at least, but the second one will remember you and maybe even ask for you the next time he comes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo Weldon
    I believe lots of men have the flip side of the coin when it comes to the "white knight" fantasy. They'd LOVE to be a white knight. But they usually don't really have it in them.

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    Senior Member anabella's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too Honest? Too Proud?

    I think it's less important to pay attention to what you are saying and more important to think of how you're saying it. You can be honest and tell customers you have a boyfriend, you just have to counteract that with flirting. It doesn't even have to be extreme or fake. Just a lot of smiling, touching, giggling, and eye gazing will get you everywhere.

    Asking is just about having the guts. You have to ask/tell every customer for almost everything. Not very many will volunteer to hand you their money. Remind yourself that you deserve it and that is what you're at work for.

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    Featured Member mina loy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too Honest? Too Proud?

    ^ as an addition to the asking part repeat this mantra to yourself:

    "i deserve to have this money as it is my obligation as a professional entertainer to take it."
    [sigpic][/sigpic]
    ......just to feel.....the half-blood prince...

  5. #5
    buffie06
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    Default Re: Too Honest? Too Proud?

    Sometimes when Im tired of all the games and like being me, I will say i'm married and answer all the qs honestly, and in those few instances I certainly earn less money. Why it is neccessary to be honest? I never got that. We are here to provide a fantasy, and in the club I am single and interested but way too busy with (lies lies lies) to ever do anything outside the club. I make sure they know I NEVER go out with customers I meet in the club, I am honest about that and a few other things. I get compliments too (all the time) on what a lovely, honest and soooo real type a girl I am(im not hahahah). They believe you if you are believable, and there is nothing wrong with telling them what they want to hear. If they want to imagine that you are available and interested in them while getting a dance, it certainly increases your chances of getting more dances. Be an actress and see if you earnings increase a little , I bet they will.

    It's hard for me to ask too, I prefer to be approached. I'm working on that and i agree it might be pride, but I fear rejection alot too. When someone hand picks me it feels so much better, than going up to some random guy who might not like my type or whatever else.

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    Default Re: Too Honest? Too Proud?

    Last night I went up to a customer in a mixed group - I seem to do alright out of mixed groups, and quite often when a group has more women than men... but anyways....

    Five minute chat with the guy, and he says 'Y'know what? I think I'd like you to dance for me.'' And away we went. I love that. Even though it was only two dances in total (quiet night so I spent a while with them) I left them and this dude feeling really good about the fact that they were decent and appreciative customers, regardless of only spending a small amount.

    If I had the same rapport with all customers that I did with this guy, it'd be absolutely fantastic. Love and hate it at the same time when you meet nice customers because they are few and far between. This guy didn't even ask me about anything personal - pure, solid, good chat and then a couple of dances.

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    Senior Member kat 3322's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too Honest? Too Proud?

    im as honest as the customers will let me be. if some guy is trying to persuade me to go out/home with him hes trying to use me so i'll give it right back to him. if some one is cool (they are there for fun, not sex, there smart, respectful, etc...)and i can have an honest conversation with them, i will.

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    Senior Member ITgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too Honest? Too Proud?

    I understand exactly how you feel. I created a complete alternate reality for custies. It's like my bizarro life that I use only to answer dumb custie ?'s.

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    Default Re: Too Honest? Too Proud?

    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMissSunshine View Post
    Custie opinion would be good too!
    OK - you asked for it.

    First thing to remember it that a strip club is your working environment; you've got both direct experience and anecdotal stories from other girls to guide you. Accordingly, you understand the reality far better than your customers.

    They'll come into a strip club with some stereotype of a dancer in mind and they'll look to find someone matching that stereotype. It probably won't occur to them thar most girls have a 'dancer persona' they adopt for working purposes - instead they take the persona as matching the girl's real personality.

    You don't need to 'talk shit' to customers, you just need to find a work personality (or personalities) that match the stereotype in a customer's mind. I know dancers that do very well out of the 'dumb blonde' routine, I know others who keep regulars coming back because of the contrast between the intellectual conversation they deliver and the eroticism of the dance they do. Whatever works for you...

    First and foremost, you've got to convince the customer you're interested in him personally - get a book on body language and learn about the flirtation signals that a woman sends out. Lots of eye contact, lots of smiles, and a little bit of body contact are a good start in that direction.

    Having flirted a bit with him, pander to his stereotype - most guys get an erotic charge from the idea you want to dance for them, so the ones that like the 'bullshit stories' are probably having that thought confirmed for them - "I do this job as well as my normal one because I enjoy it so much...."

    As to conversation in general, why worry too much about what you say to customers? You're not going to see them outside of work anyway, so what opinion they carry away from the club is of no importance to your personal life - the only opinion you should care about is what your friends think of you.

    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMissSunshine View Post
    I've never succeeded or even tried to rip anybody off and only take what's owed to me..
    Pretty well every customer comes into a strip venue with a specific objective in mind - to see an attractive woman naked - and you're just meeting that expectation. Equally well, they expect to pay for the privilege - so in getting money from a customer for a dance, you're just doing what he expects you to do. If you've given him a dance which he's enjoyed, he's had value for money - and you've earned the money fair and square.

    Finally, don't worry about being turned down when asked for a dance. Most guy's will come into a strip venue with an idea of their ideal dancer in mind. If you're blonde and petite and he's looking for dark haired and volumptuous, you're never going to sell a dance to him anyway.

    All you can do is work on your dancer persona to find one that maximises your uptake rate from requests for dances.

    Phil.

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    Senior Member kittensgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too Honest? Too Proud?

    I have the same problem, worked in the rural sector and am used to working hard for my money. I hate lying, and I'm a terrible liar anyway. You need to work with who you are and make it something special. I'm just a dumb country girl, and I ham it up totally I have found I can lie quite easily if it is totally over the top.

    eg Q.What do you do when you're not here?
    A. Oh I breed slugs then turn them into zombies for horror movies I used to sell them to French restaurants but they complained about them looking a bit green.

    Q. What can you do for me the other girls can't?
    A. I have my quarter horse out in the change room, if you don't mind waiting I'll just go get him and we can show you a brilliant double act. (if they ask for more info I'll rave on about jumping through hoops of fire or something just as idiotic)

    Now I know this sounds seriously retarded, and the looks on the guys faces is magic! They just don't expect that type of answer, they have a laugh and quite often results in a sale. Men love a woman with humour (as in fuffy funny comments- not sarcasm, not catty witticism)
    Either way I have a ball making up really idiotic stories, occasionally you get a goose that really believes the story. Worth a million laughs.
    Probably not a method for everyone though.

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    Default Re: Too Honest? Too Proud?

    having been a dancer in one of the categories that can rarely count on customers to handpick them or request dances of them, i cannot say there's a lot of sympathy for dancers who feel 'too proud' to ask for dances/tips.

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