I really try not to rant... I really do. But I really wanna right now so... sorry ahead of time. I'll be back to my normal, Rock For Everyone state soon.
I'm so tired. In my body, in my brain.... I have a lot of stuff, on a teeny plate. Like Big Huge Italian Restaurant sized dinner portions on a bread plate. Yanno? I'm sure yanno. Ya'll are way too awesome to not know.... I dunno. Stuff.
I've been on a forum for asexuals lately, to try and mend my relationship... but lack of energy has had me so offline anymore... and I feel so... DUMB. I dunno why, I just feel like a total heel.
I've been battling my health insurance folks over a test that my doctor and I really feel that I need to have done. Said PPO wont cover a single cent of the VERY huge bill. Holy stuff! It's so frustrating! To the point of long sobbing bouts. I've been battling these sleep issues for so long now, and I get SO close to something that might help... and WHAMO! No dice from the effin stooges at Aetna. I'd be able to werk off this bill and then do it, if I was sleeping enough to function at all of my jobs. Again, holy stuff! But this insurance is so cheap compared to what it'd cost me sans the job insurance. I know, I'm getting what I pay for, yeah? Meh.
Now I have some weird issue with pain in my finger... and that's been costing me a ton too. All of which I can't pay... and which adds new debt collectors to my Call Paige Daily list. Yay! No, no.... not yay.
Insomnia + sleep paralysis + OCD brain chaos + depression = no energy whatsoever... Werk(s) = so hard to do, if I can do it all. I find myself struggling to muster up energy to do online things... my site, email, SW, etc. I've gotten so snippy and distant.... and I am SO sorry to ya'll for being that way on here.
I have family/estate issues that are going to require a lawyer at some point. THAT is going to be fun. I am literally terrified to talk to my family because the idea of all of the drama makes me puke. Like, literally project forth with the food bits.
I want to get back to werks. All of them. I miss them. I feel like a bum when I can't do it. My inner Caretaker is livid with the rest of me.
I wish that my insurance covered therapy. I heard a rumor that there is a free counseling place somewhere in my county. I need to find it.
I've been told a few times that I could probably get disability for my ED/LD and the sleep issues... but I struggle to make phone calls... getting my arse into the benefits office is gonna be an experience...
I am so hungry and I am so sick of being squishy... so I try to ignore my stomach. Trying to ignore a stomach that is achingly hungry at all waking moments? So not fun.
I'm sorry. I'm just ranty and drinking and... blah. I'm done now.



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I am sad to see you sad. Can TOO or Mast or somebody please go rescue her? Somebody help our Paigey!!!


Help this cat on his quest for World Domination!
Oh noes! Paige, I hate that you're sad. It's just not fucking FAIR. Because you're an awesome chick and you really deserve better than to have all this drama.


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